PLEASE RATE!!! My 1ST EVER KEYSTYLE

[BossPlaya]

this is my very first keystyle so please help me out n tell me what i should improve on

i spit nothing but heat/
on a hot beat/
dont fron on my WHACK ass lil Rhyme/
cuz if u do ill have to SMACK you for tha last Time/
so yay of tha crack/
and tell me tha truth is it wack/
just like when u try to mack/
im tha one and only mexican thug/
so all latin girls come on give me a hug/
cuz lilke TLC said you aint nothing but a scrub/
i know i aint got skills/
is it cuz of tha pills/
all i really need is a girl with 6 inch heels/
damn this verse will probably get me record deals/


HOLLA back with your toughts on it n rember its my first ever 1

[Doggystylin]

thats pretty coo for your first shit ever, but dont stop there, keep praticing and then soon challange some of the rookies on here

[BossPlaya]

kool thanx homie

[BossPlaya]

i just came up with this 1 since im doint my math homework i couldnt stop thinkin  on droopin smothing about my match class so here goes


My math class is whack/
it seems like my teachers on crack/
hes a big ass punk/
whose never laid eyes on a cunt/
or a big fat blunt/
hes skinny/
hes a real winny/
he thinks hes taller/
but hes not a baller/
but he is dumber/

[Doggystylin]

LOL

yo try to make your barz longer and umm dont make it so simple, ya know, but keep spittin and read some of the REAL rhymers (tha7th,Doggystylin,blade,infinite,sikotic) rhymes on here and just get ideas and kinda learn and shit

[NoT]

the REAL rhymers (tha7th,Doggystylin,blade,infinite,sikotic)

Yo, where am I on that list. LOL...

Anyway, not bad for a first try but you'll have to work at it.

[ToNe1904]

LOL

yo try to make your barz longer and umm dont make it so simple, ya know, but keep spittin and read some of the REAL rhymers (tha7th,Doggystylin,blade,infinite,sikotic) rhymes on here and just get ideas and kinda learn and shit

funny that me, I-bo, NoT, NazT, n a ganga otha muthafuckaz aint on that list..but YOU are. LOLOLOLOL

[DeaDSouLjaH]

funny that me, I-bo, NoT, NazT, n a ganga otha muthafuckaz aint on that list..but YOU are. LOLOLOLOL

his opinion i guess...

[doggmastah]

LOL

yo try to make your barz longer and umm dont make it so simple, ya know, but keep spittin and read some of the REAL rhymers (tha7th,Doggystylin,blade,infinite,sikotic) rhymes on here and just get ideas and kinda learn and shit

Doggy's humble guy...LOL

Hey WCG expand yur bars and bettle someone, it's the best way to learn, listen to what the emcees above me are tellin' you... they know the shit they're atalkin' about!

Peace!    

[ToNe1904]

Havin simple attackz isnt tha problem. Most of tha punches people throw, are "simple" in idea. Itz jus tha WAY u come about tha idea. Be creative in how u come about yur lines. Like tha punch "yurra bitch" is one of tha most simple ideas, but everybody uses it. But u gotta figure out a way to say it...in a way that nobody else has. Im sure Doggy can help u out quite nicely with simplicity. Jus peep his rhymez....and do tha opposite.