Need tips on my song that i did, check it out here

[Cyborg-Ninja]

Hey Ya'll im just a rookie rapper, and i need some you guys and gals to give me some tips on what i need to do to make my songs and freestyles much better.. Heres my song, what ya think?

[Verse 1]

Mr.Busta Ryme Regular, is that your name//
Well you met the man who'll put your name to shame//
Dont wanna get burned by the flame//
Let me put you in the right frame of mind//
I aint that nice, and i aint that kind//
Its like this//
I'm comin at ya with a tennis ball and a racket//
i pull the pin outta my grenade an' smack it//
its the most explosive serve in the world//
an when you attempt to return, it'll have ya in pieces//
Try and return the favour//
Rember to release it, from those little hands//
Then cover your ears for when it lands//
Even tho its on my side//
Your be shittin your pants//
Justy remember, your messin with the Ninja//
I'll fuck wid ya head, your be lyin on the floor dead//
Ill tear you to shreds//
You come around sayin shit about me//
Well can you see the light thats behind me//
Coz when i lyrically murder you//
People will walk up and look at you//
Your on the floor, with no one to help you//
Your glad that i didnt kill and physically abuse you//
You say i got simplistic rymes//
I fuck wid ya head, like stupid fuckin wind chimes//
You call me out, and hit back//
I make this look good, so step off the track//
Coz im the only Emcee who's possessed by the devil//
Im evil, unbelievable//
I start runnin round you like a revolving turn table//
Now im done//
With this fuckin first verse//
Lets see what you can come up with//
Lets see who gets first//

[Chorus]

You, are a looser, microphone abuser//
When you step on the mic, everyone starts to accuse ya//
That you stole my shit from me//
And that your the one who should envy me//
And coz their right, your pants fill with shite//
And you run off, into the lonely dark night//
Now im on the scene, and people are dreamin//
All of the fanz, and i got divas that are screaming//
So step aside, and let the Ninja take over//
I'll rock the place, as if its neva gonna end//
Well, i dont pretend, coz now the shows OVER..!//

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]

So you challenge me, to a freestyle frenzie//
Well, i guess i've already won ha, thats how i am G//
Doesnt bother me either way//
Coz i live life, day by day//
I dont slow down, i neva stop rappin//
I would take over you and start lappin//
Coz i just dont stop, on WCC, i just post and post//
Man you got enemies from Coast to Coast//
So dont come around and challenge me//
Coz i got some bad news for ya, c its some thing like this//
The only real G leavin this freestyle frenzie will be the one//
and only, ME//
Go back in ya hole, im not your friend or your foe//
I just do my best and rock tha show//
So now, im done, and i gotta go//
But i'll stay and except when you challenge me tho//
So let me kill you with my lyrical flow//
By the time i've done that, your be on the floor//
And i would of walked out the door, with my head up high//
And a bitch beside me//
I'll let you get burned by the flame, and you'll get fried G//
Buh Bye//

[Chorus] (Fade Out)

['Illicit']

hmm overall pretty tight shit, i can see your still new and trying, but same goes for me.  basically a good message,  a few lines are simplictic but i get what you mean and they came good.i dont know what the topic is exactly but the chorus seems ok. maybe think bout shortening it or something to make it appear doper than it is.  just a suggestion.  or try shortening your 1st verse and add a third one, that way you'll have three equal verses or lenghten your 2nd one and make 2 egual sized verses.    i like the start of your first verse " busta rhmye regular"  - tight shit.   after that u repeat some shit u wrote in a battle. always try coming up wit orignal stuff that way you can improve. dont repeat or change previous shit.  if you wouldve continue wit dope stuff like your first line it woulda had a tight start but with the flame , name to shame thing it sounds corny.  not terrible but it kinda gets you off a lil   like for example u had a dope beat for it. peops wanna bump their head right after the beat start and they wanna rap along the first 4 - 5 lines mostly. or at least thats how i react lol.   anyway just suggestions. im not biting your ish. i like it.     keep it up!  keep spittin and you'll improve in no time!

peace