OMEGLE

[J.D. Wykid, Esq.]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi.
Stranger: asl?
You: 21/m/L.A.
You: u?
Stranger: louisiana, eh?
You: no.
You: los angeles.
Stranger: 19/f/texas
Stranger: oh
You: mmm nice.
You: ive always want to fuck a texas girl.
Stranger: pervert
You: a lil bit.
Stranger: that's nasty
You: just enough to be normal
You: no its not.
You: its human nature
Stranger: do you have sex with many girls?
Stranger: because that isn't human nature
You: i have sex when the mood strikes me.
You: doesnt have to be with different women, could be with one..
Stranger: so girls are just tools for your pleasure
You: i didnt say that.
You: it has to be fun for both of us.
Stranger: ...how many girls have you slept with?
You: hmm lets seee.....
You: about 30ish
You: give or take
Stranger: that's digusting
You: why?
Stranger: 30??
You: give or take
Stranger: i hope you get clamidia
Stranger: and die
You: thats not nice.
You: what did i do to you?
Stranger: you are a sick bastard
You: how am i a 'sick bastard'?
You: are you one of those deeply religous cunts?
Stranger: you've slept with 30 girls!
Stranger: not really
You: and..they enjoyed it too.
Stranger: i go to church on sundays
You: its not like a raped them.
You: shit, some of them sought me out.
You: who am i to deny a woman some of this cock?
Stranger: you make me sick...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

LMAOOO!!!!!

[J.D. Wykid, Esq.]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: omg
Stranger: hi
You: HOLY SHIT!
Stranger: ??
You: i just seen some crazy shit!
Stranger: ....
You: dude
You: OMG
You: !!!!
Stranger: explain...
You: too complicated...just know this....you CANNOT stick an entire jack daniels bottle in your girls poop shoot...it WILL NOT WORK...
Stranger: i hope not
Stranger: otherwise she is a TOTAL whore
You: ey! thats my bitch you talking bout.
You: she may be a fucking town bike..but nigga, i dont know u. so u best watch ur mouf.
Stranger: she got a jack daniels body in her ass
Stranger: she's a whore
Stranger: bottle*
You: she does that shit for ME nigga.
You: what ur girl do for u?
You: does she lick ur asshole as ur alarm clock?
You: does she suck ur dick even if she has the swine flu?
You: does she let you hit even if shes on the rag?
You: NO.
You: so watch ur mouf.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

this is a GREAT time killer.

props kain! lol

[Kool Beenz]

i had to try it once

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: i just took a massive shit
Stranger: asl plz ...first u
You: 20mtx
You: like one of those shits where the water comes back and splashes on your ass
You: do you get those often?
Stranger: sweet
You: ?
Stranger: fuck you Nigger
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[QuietTruth]

-----------------------------------------------------------

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi.
Stranger: asl?
You: 12/m/neverland ranch
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

LMFAO, grimey, hahaha.

[Moe]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello, this is Joe from Macintosh tech support.
Stranger: How may I be of assistance?
You: liar
You: they call it apple now.
Stranger: OMG YOU CAUGHT ME
You: i win
Stranger: woohoo *confetti*
You: *raises roof*
Stranger: whoop whoop
You: im out of ideas
Stranger: do you like sharpies?
You: always
Stranger: my goldfish ate a sharpie.
You: what color?
Stranger: orange.
Stranger: but it came out of good ol goldy blue
You: it will poop orange water for the next 2 years
You: hum....
Stranger: yeah.
Stranger: intense huh
You: indeed.
Stranger: have you ever milked a cow?
You: oddly enough, yes.
Stranger: have you ever milked a dog?
You: but it was a steer
You: never a dog.
Stranger: neither have i
You: have you milked a cow?
Stranger: nope.
Stranger: i've drank milk before.
You: i have not,
Stranger: it was white.
Stranger: no joke.
You: i only drink motor oil.
You: i shit black all the time.
Stranger: oh.
Stranger: that sucks.
You: would you like tyo clean my tolet?
Stranger: you should go see a doctor.
Stranger: i am your toilet
You: i will bring AJAX next time i see you.
You: but not a brush,
You: you will have to do that yourself
Stranger: kay thanks
Stranger: i'll use your toothbrush
You: my pleasure dude
You: please do
Stranger: oh crap
Stranger: can't
Stranger: i already used it to clean out my dogs butt
Stranger: and it got stuck in there
Stranger: sorry dude
You: so thats where its been.
Stranger: yeah
You: i havent seen it in a month.
Stranger: we're taking frido to the vet soon.
Stranger: we can ask to get it back for you.
You: please
Stranger: frido would really like it out.
You: then you can clean yourself.
Stranger: it's been causing problems.
Stranger: pepto bismol can only do so much.
You: and then i can finally brush my pearly browns
Stranger: gotta prevent them from falling out!
You: indeed.
Stranger: i've still got my 5 best ones left.
Stranger: so its all good.
You:  they are the only set ill have for free.
Stranger: unless you steal them
You: i could do that.
Stranger: i did do that
You: my great uncle hasnt really neededhis for 2 years now.
You: i think hes over do for some liberation
Stranger: life is tough
You: like he did on those death camps, but better
Stranger: i hear you man
You: i wish i could hear you.
You: im too bus listening to woody herman and the heard
Stranger: here
Stranger: i'll scream as loud as i can and see if you hear it
You: fucker wont shut up with that god damn horn
You: i think i hear something
Stranger: that was me
You: are you saying food stamps?
Stranger: nahh, i was saying poop camp
You: well close enough
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: practically the same thing
You: well they both have the same enrollment rates
Stranger: yep
You: can you clip my toenails.
You:
You: they are long over due.
Stranger: yum
Stranger: i love toenails
Stranger: keep em growing dude
You: they make great jam.
Stranger: really do
You: those giants are on to something.
Stranger: foshizz
Stranger: guess what?
You: chicken butt?
Stranger: OMG YAHH!
Stranger: no
Stranger: not really
You: ROFLROFL
Stranger: my chickens dont have butts
Stranger: they're buttless chickens
You: ive never been a fan of yard bird.
Stranger: i only like them buttless
You: how far do you shove the dynamite up there to make tham like that?
Stranger: an inch usually does it
You: ill have to keep that in mind.
Stranger: yannow, some people feel like it needs to go up much farther, but really you get the best results by just going about an inch
You: i usually shove it in all the way. most of the time it kills them
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: thats what i'm talking about
You: and by dynamite i mean my cock.
You: btw....
You: i call it the cock in the cock
Stranger: ohh
Stranger: don't got one of those, just use tnt
You: mine is a prothsetic
Stranger: good for you
You: i lost mine when i decided to pork a cement mixer
Stranger: right, thats what you say
You: the cement mixer won. but it was a good match.
Stranger: we all know you really just went under a transgender operation that failed
You: you found me out.
Stranger: yep
You: promise not to tell?
Stranger: secrets safe with me
You: good. i dont need the other fellas at the gym to find out.
Stranger: don't worry
Stranger: girl to (previous) girl
Stranger: always gotta keep those secrets on the dl
You: im still a chick at heart.
Stranger: deep down we all know it
You: they'll never be able to take that away from me.
Stranger: thats right
You: are you a communist?
Stranger: no, you?
You: no.
Stranger: good
You: heres my post op picture.
You: http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/4791/1109696.jpg
You: im on the right
Stranger: the girl in you shines through
You: the boy i was dating is on the left.
Stranger: oh that must be tough on you
You: ive been able to pretend like im a totally differnt person.
Stranger: and him
You: he cant tell.
You: i think hes retarded.
Stranger: thats good, but still, must be hard to deal with that loss
You: it was but then he became my best friend again.
Stranger: thats good
Stranger: oh man, i forgot to ask....how is that wart cream working out?
You: eh, its alright.
You: when it looks like its making progress it starts ot get worse again.
Stranger: ahh i hear ya
You: i might have to get prescription strenght.
Stranger: well i wish for the bst
Stranger: best
You: i dont want to see my doctor though.
Stranger: oh was he hitting on you again?
You: he tries to make passes at me and im not like that anymore.
Stranger: you gotta law down the law
Stranger: heres my pic: http://img8.imageshack.us/i/54106454.jpg/
Stranger: im the second one on the left
Stranger: i just got a new blue paintjob
Stranger: you like?
You: i was about to say, last time i saw you you were greenish yellow.
You: its a good look for you.
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: my mom says it brings out the color of my roof
You: it so totally does.
You: it looks like you touched it up aswell
Stranger: yeah, just a bit
You: i see you got a new number and didnt even tell me.
Stranger: oh yeah sorry
Stranger: had to change it for...
Stranger: legal reasons
You: thats understandable.
You: the ex was hounding you agian?
Stranger: yeah and everytime i tried to enforce that restraining order he just changes his name and comes out me
Stranger: i'm just attractive i guess
You: you are.
Stranger: too hot for words
You: if i were still a girl i would so totally put my tongue on you.
You: wether you likeit or not.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: i had the fireman hose me down, so i'm all clean now
You: awesome.
You: you probably smell like pinesol now.
Stranger: true dat
Stranger: that new paint job has made my plastic smooth as butter too
You: *melts*
Stranger: thats right
You: i am so turned on
Stranger: i'd be too if i wasnt me
You: hold on, my "girlfriend" is calling me.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: does she not know about the failed transformation???
You: no wa.
You: way.
Stranger: i'll keep it a secret from her too
You: she wants to be a virgin until marrige.
You: which helps.
Stranger: that would
Stranger: maybe you'll get the full operation done by then
You: i hope. but insurance doesnt cover it.
Stranger: i know how you feel
You: i have to keep collecting my tips at the waffle house.
Stranger: have hope man
Stranger: have hope
You: heres her picture.
You: http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/2228/1032585.jpg
You: shes a dime isnt she?
Stranger: 2 dimes!
Stranger: not as sexy as i am, but who is?
You: true.
You: maybe if and when i dump this bird ill have to call you up again.....
Stranger: you know my new number
You: 800-275-3616
Stranger: thats it
Stranger: im so amazing, i've got my own 800 line
You: if only they gave you a 900 number you could retire
Stranger: yeahhh not there yet
You: any who this old bag is headed this way.
You: i have to pretend like i care what she says.
You: but you know ill only think of you.
Stranger: wait for the operation man
Stranger: but the good thing is, i dumped my boyfriend last weekend, so i'm free as a bird
You: do you want me to wait for the operation to "make things right" with you?
You: or will you accept me like i am
Stranger: operation
Stranger: i'm not gay, so i think i'd be more comfortable
You: i understand.
You: ill have to pull more shifts at the waffle house.
Stranger: keep makin waffles
You: and pourig coffee
You: chow!
You have disconnected.

[Moe]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: Hey
You: im going to bed. feel free to join me.
Stranger: uhmm
Stranger: Yeahh
Stranger: MAYBE
You: maybe?
You: why would you not just say yes?
Stranger: because
Stranger: u smell funy
Stranger: *funny
You: thats not me, its my sheets...
Stranger: aahahha
You: i think my dog molests them on a regular basis
Stranger: GROSS
You: eh, you learn to live with it
Stranger: Go WAYA
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[universe]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: hello
Stranger: how's it going
You: good, tired but good u
Stranger: tired too, just cleaned my house after a party
You: usually i leave the mess til morning
Stranger: I don't even know why I'm online
You: me neither
You: sister had a graduation party
You: still dead from that
Stranger: My bday was in this friday hehe
You: nice...what city you in ?
Stranger: Tj
You: ?
Stranger: Tijuana
You: lol really
Stranger: yehh man XD
Stranger: crazy stuff here
You: eastlake XXD
Stranger: lot of mafia and blah blah
Stranger: very close
You: yeah start a fire and i can smell it
You:
Stranger: hahaa
You: so is eventually gonna happen with mexico and drug traffiing
You: so what is....
Stranger: shit sucks down here
You: what if america legalized drugs?
You: it would be chill in mexico
Stranger: yeh maybe
Stranger: right now drugs are legal in Mexico but just for like persoonal use
Stranger: you can't have big amounts of it
You: you guys are in the future
You: america sucks
Stranger: meh hahah
You: obama need to hurry and change this country
Stranger: I think he wont really make a difference for the US
Stranger: I like the guy but..hm..
Stranger: ionno
You: he will, anything better than faggot bush family
Stranger: hell yeah
You: i feel like l can sleep for 15 hours
You: hibernate
Stranger: yehh me too, I think I will go to sleep now
You: good nite
Stranger: see you in another life man take care
You: =yeah we can be goats
You: 1
Stranger: lol
Stranger: late
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Sikotic™]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hola!
Stranger: hi、
You: what are you up to?
Stranger: not much
Stranger: asl？
You: same here. 23/m/LA
You: you?
Stranger: 20 m CN
Stranger: nice to see u
You: cool.
You: but you're a dude so im logging off.
You have disconnected.

[Sikotic™]

kain, this is the greatest shit ever. I just got a girl from South Korea to believe I'm Barack Obama.

[Sikotic™]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: asl
Stranger: 18/m/usa
You: bleh. nm
You have disconnected.

[Sikotic™]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
Stranger: hello?
You: 23/m/los angeles
You: you?
Stranger: 20,m,china
Stranger: laker
You: bleh. nm
You have disconnected.

[Sikotic™]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: where are you from?
You: los angeles
You: asl?
Stranger: i'm korean
You: cool. south korea?
Stranger: yes.
You: youre from south korea and im from north america
Stranger: ah-
Stranger: north america?
You: yes
Stranger: umm.
Stranger: are you male-?
You: yes
Stranger: umm-
You: female?
Stranger: no-
You: bleh, nevermind then
You have disconnected.

[Sikotic™]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl
You: 23 m los angeles
You: asl?
Stranger:
Stranger: 20m
You: eh. nm then
You have disconnected.

[QuietTruth]

LMFAO

[universe]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: HELLO
Stranger: sup
You: NOTHING MUCH YOU....
You: THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON THE INTERNET....
Stranger: u r kidding me
Stranger: u mean on omegle
You: NAH, I'M FROM BAGHDAD AND I'M USING AN IBM 100 AND 56K.
You: FIRST TIME ON THE WORLD WIDE WEB
Stranger: omg
You: WHAT IS OMG ?
Stranger: then u r so fashionable
Stranger: oh my god
You: I SEE.
You: WHERE ARE YOU FROM MY FRIEND ?
Stranger: taiwan
You: NICE
Stranger: u heard before
You: OF COURSE
You: YOU LIKE CHINA ?
Stranger: not really
Stranger: age?
You: WHAT ABOUT INFIDEL AMERICANS ?
You: 25
You: YOU
Stranger: alright
Stranger: im 20
You: BOY OR GIRL
Stranger: girl
You: LOL I WAS JUST KIDDING ABOUT BAGHDAD AND FIRST TIME ON THE INTERNET
Stranger: i know
You: YOU GENIUS
You: I'M FROM SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA
Stranger: okay
You: DO YOU KNOW WHERE THAT IS ?
Stranger: kinda
Stranger: i think
You: COOL, SO WHAT'S GOING ON TODAY FOR YOU ?
Stranger: nothing
You: ARE YOU A PARTY ANIMAL ?
Stranger: r u?
You: DAMN SKIPPY
You: YES
Stranger: cool
You: YOU'RE NOT
Stranger: so?
You: YOU DON'T PARTY ?
Stranger: not very often
You: A LOT OF STUDYING ?
Stranger: studying?
Stranger: omg no
You: HA
You: THEN WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN?
You: FISHING ?
Stranger: well im going to do that next weekend
You: 90% OF THE WORLD'S FISH ARE IN ENDANGERED OF EXTINCTION, MAYBE YOU SHOULD EASE UP ON THAT
Your conversational partner has disconnected.