my niggas barbershop stories [A NIGGAS ONLY THREAD]

[Job starring as King Of Zamunda]

tell me why eye let this nigga cut me up and now eye look like a shaolin monk. this nigga pushed my line so back got me looking like steven a. smith. eye know eye should of just waited for my main nigga to come. but eye was in a rush. now my tsunami waves look like little ripples and shit. man eye can actually say for once. eye am livid. nigga gave me the mirror to look at his work like that shit was a masterpiece. damn. man eye got up.  threw the money at this nigga. no tip and eye shorted that nigga and just walked out.

LMAO, man fam you shoulda waited on your main barber. damn, they got you lookin like robocop when he take his helmet off. tell him you want a light fade next time

eye know right call me murphy from now on damn shame
hahahha you already know when my peoples saw me it was roast session . that nigga had me walking around lookin like

that nigga didnt just cut my shit he guillotine my dome .  had niggas seeing my thoughts and shit.

..........

shit so fucked up my seed dont even look at me damn

[herpes]

i use to have a black barber, until my town revolted against him & lynched him.

I thought you lived in Queens lol... you either gotta be in Howard Beach or Rockaway Beach all the way down by Riis Park for that to happen lol

[Floydness]

tell me why eye let this nigga cut me up and now eye look like a shaolin monk. this nigga pushed my line so back got me looking like steven a. smith. eye know eye should of just waited for my main nigga to come. but eye was in a rush. now my tsunami waves look like little ripples and shit. man eye can actually say for once. eye am livid. nigga gave me the mirror to look at his work like that shit was a masterpiece. damn. man eye got up.  threw the money at this nigga. no tip and eye shorted that nigga and just walked out.

LMAO, man fam you shoulda waited on your main barber. damn, they got you lookin like robocop when he take his helmet off. tell him you want a light fade next time

eye know right call me murphy from now on damn shame
hahahha you already know when my peoples saw me it was roast session . that nigga had me walking around lookin like

that nigga didnt just cut my shit he guillotine my dome .  had niggas seeing my thoughts and shit.

..........

shit so fucked up my seed dont even look at me damn

\

damn these guys have weird shaped heads lol

[Cali Climate]

Damn blood, thats a crazy story.

Well one time i was gettin fly and crispy, had to look fresh knawmsayin cuz i had to go drop off child support at my baby mamas crib later that night, and she still a beautiful nubian queen so i was considering tryin to rekindle the flame and shit feel me?

well anyway, im in the chair, and my nigga delfondre comes in, lookin startled like he been chased by the klan. he rushes me and says,

"yo, shareeree (my baby mama), down at the laundromat suckin on some white niggas dick",

im like "hold up nigga you doin too much, if i start stressin my head will knot up and fuck up my fade nigga.", but he kept talkin that talk, so i went down to the laundromat and caught shareeree cold suckin some peckerwoods dick in the front seat of his lexus.

 so i stroll up to the car and am like, "bitch, you got this white dick all up in your mouth i suppose he can afford to put some food in there too."

long story short, i didnt giver no fuckin money that night, and instead blew the check on a shopping spree, i copped myself some gucci loafers on sale for 300. I stay winning niggas.

[K.Dub]

Damn blood, thats a crazy story.

Well one time i was gettin fly and crispy, had to look fresh knawmsayin cuz i had to go drop off child support at my baby mamas crib later that night, and she still a beautiful nubian queen so i was considering tryin to rekindle the flame and shit feel me?

well anyway, im in the chair, and my nigga delfondre comes in, lookin startled like he been chased by the klan. he rushes me and says,

"yo, shareeree (my baby mama), down at the laundromat suckin on some white niggas dick",

im like "hold up nigga you doin too much, if i start stressin my head will knot up and fuck up my fade nigga.", but he kept talkin that talk, so i went down to the laundromat and caught shareeree cold suckin some peckerwoods dick in the front seat of his lexus.

 so i stroll up to the car and am like, "bitch, you got this white dick all up in your mouth i suppose he can afford to put some food in there too."

long story short, i didnt giver no fuckin money that night, and instead blew the check on a shopping spree, i copped myself some gucci loafers on sale for 300. I stay winning niggas.

[Job starring as King Of Zamunda]

Damn blood, thats a crazy story.

Well one time i was gettin fly and crispy, had to look fresh knawmsayin cuz i had to go drop off child support at my baby mamas crib later that night, and she still a beautiful nubian queen so i was considering tryin to rekindle the flame and shit feel me?

well anyway, im in the chair, and my nigga delfondre comes in, lookin startled like he been chased by the klan. he rushes me and says,

"yo, shareeree (my baby mama), down at the laundromat suckin on some white niggas dick",

im like "hold up nigga you doin too much, if i start stressin my head will knot up and fuck up my fade nigga.", but he kept talkin that talk, so i went down to the laundromat and caught shareeree cold suckin some peckerwoods dick in the front seat of his lexus.

 so i stroll up to the car and am like, "bitch, you got this white dick all up in your mouth i suppose he can afford to put some food in there too."

long story short, i didnt giver no fuckin money that night, and instead blew the check on a shopping spree, i copped myself some gucci loafers on sale for 300. I stay winning niggas.

corny niggas laugh at corny shit.

[K.Dub]

Damn blood, thats a crazy story.

Well one time i was gettin fly and crispy, had to look fresh knawmsayin cuz i had to go drop off child support at my baby mamas crib later that night, and she still a beautiful nubian queen so i was considering tryin to rekindle the flame and shit feel me?

well anyway, im in the chair, and my nigga delfondre comes in, lookin startled like he been chased by the klan. he rushes me and says,

"yo, shareeree (my baby mama), down at the laundromat suckin on some white niggas dick",

im like "hold up nigga you doin too much, if i start stressin my head will knot up and fuck up my fade nigga.", but he kept talkin that talk, so i went down to the laundromat and caught shareeree cold suckin some peckerwoods dick in the front seat of his lexus.

 so i stroll up to the car and am like, "bitch, you got this white dick all up in your mouth i suppose he can afford to put some food in there too."

long story short, i didnt giver no fuckin money that night, and instead blew the check on a shopping spree, i copped myself some gucci loafers on sale for 300. I stay winning niggas.

corny niggas laugh at corny shit.

Come on, where's your sense of humor? Oh and btw, please don't call me that offensive word.

[Job starring as King Of Zamunda]

Damn blood, thats a crazy story.

Well one time i was gettin fly and crispy, had to look fresh knawmsayin cuz i had to go drop off child support at my baby mamas crib later that night, and she still a beautiful nubian queen so i was considering tryin to rekindle the flame and shit feel me?

well anyway, im in the chair, and my nigga delfondre comes in, lookin startled like he been chased by the klan. he rushes me and says,

"yo, shareeree (my baby mama), down at the laundromat suckin on some white niggas dick",

im like "hold up nigga you doin too much, if i start stressin my head will knot up and fuck up my fade nigga.", but he kept talkin that talk, so i went down to the laundromat and caught shareeree cold suckin some peckerwoods dick in the front seat of his lexus.

 so i stroll up to the car and am like, "bitch, you got this white dick all up in your mouth i suppose he can afford to put some food in there too."

long story short, i didnt giver no fuckin money that night, and instead blew the check on a shopping spree, i copped myself some gucci loafers on sale for 300. I stay winning niggas.

[Cali Climate]

Nickleback sucks.

[Job starring as King Of Zamunda]

Damn blood, thats a crazy story.

Well one time i was gettin fly and crispy, had to look fresh knawmsayin cuz i had to go drop off child support at my baby mamas crib later that night, and she still a beautiful nubian queen so i was considering tryin to rekindle the flame and shit feel me?

well anyway, im in the chair, and my nigga delfondre comes in, lookin startled like he been chased by the klan. he rushes me and says,

"yo, shareeree (my baby mama), down at the laundromat suckin on some white niggas dick",

im like "hold up nigga you doin too much, if i start stressin my head will knot up and fuck up my fade nigga.", but he kept talkin that talk, so i went down to the laundromat and caught shareeree cold suckin some peckerwoods dick in the front seat of his lexus.

 so i stroll up to the car and am like, "bitch, you got this white dick all up in your mouth i suppose he can afford to put some food in there too."

long story short, i didnt giver no fuckin money that night, and instead blew the check on a shopping spree, i copped myself some gucci loafers on sale for 300. I stay winning niggas.

corny niggas laugh at corny shit.

Come on, where's your sense of humor? Oh and btw, please don't call me that offensive word.

eye got a sense of humor but lets be real shit was corny. just like comedy central comedians

[Chamillitary Click]

Damn blood, thats a crazy story.

Well one time i was gettin fly and crispy, had to look fresh knawmsayin cuz i had to go drop off child support at my baby mamas crib later that night, and she still a beautiful nubian queen so i was considering tryin to rekindle the flame and shit feel me?

well anyway, im in the chair, and my nigga delfondre comes in, lookin startled like he been chased by the klan. he rushes me and says,

"yo, shareeree (my baby mama), down at the laundromat suckin on some white niggas dick",

im like "hold up nigga you doin too much, if i start stressin my head will knot up and fuck up my fade nigga.", but he kept talkin that talk, so i went down to the laundromat and caught shareeree cold suckin some peckerwoods dick in the front seat of his lexus.

 so i stroll up to the car and am like, "bitch, you got this white dick all up in your mouth i suppose he can afford to put some food in there too."

long story short, i didnt giver no fuckin money that night, and instead blew the check on a shopping spree, i copped myself some gucci loafers on sale for 300. I stay winning niggas.

LOL!

[Sikotic™]

tell me why eye let this nigga cut me up and now eye look like a shaolin monk. this nigga pushed my line so back got me looking like steven a. smith. eye know eye should of just waited for my main nigga to come. but eye was in a rush. now my tsunami waves look like little ripples and shit. man eye can actually say for once. eye am livid. nigga gave me the mirror to look at his work like that shit was a masterpiece. damn. man eye got up.  threw the money at this nigga. no tip and eye shorted that nigga and just walked out.

LMAO, man fam you shoulda waited on your main barber. damn, they got you lookin like robocop when he take his helmet off. tell him you want a light fade next time

eye know right call me murphy from now on damn shame
hahahha you already know when my peoples saw me it was roast session . that nigga had me walking around lookin like

that nigga didnt just cut my shit he guillotine my dome .  had niggas seeing my thoughts and shit.

..........

shit so fucked up my seed dont even look at me damn

\

damn these guys have weird shaped heads lol

LMFAO @ Wayne Brady. He's gotta be half Klingon or somethin.

[C-BLUE]

i was once cut pretty bad at the barbers...nigga had an old ass razor and i was bleedin pretty profusely..but the nigga was pretty apologetic though and even paid me to shut the fucc up about it