As I excreted the fois gras garnished with a truffle sauce from my bowels....

[Gordon Gekko]

....I picked up an issue of Fortune magazine lying next to my diamond-encrusted bidet, and look who I saw on the cover:



Success is greater than ejaculating semen into my 23-year-old Peruvian model girlfriend, gentlemen. I wish some of you could experience that, but none of you have the work ethic and testicular fortitude that I possess. You would rather gossip about how "gangster" one of these nursery-rhyming spades are instead of learning how to generate a six-figure daily salary like me.

You know that I could buy and sell any of those coons that you idolize? You are all so pathetic, but once I purchase this message board I will give your lives purpose again......by making me even more money.

[No Compute]

If there is one thing I aspire to have it is testicular fortitude, I feel that my balls have strengthened just by being in your presence and basking in the success you so richly ooze. For that I thank you.

[Gordon Gekko]

If there is one thing I aspire to have it is testicular fortitude, I feel that my balls have strengthened just by being in your presence and basking in the success you so richly ooze. For that I thank you.

Yeah, whatever, kid. I smell sarcasm when I hear it. You wish that just a percentage of my testicular fortitude was bottled so that you could purchase it..........HOLY CUNT OF DARIEN!!!!! THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!

I could bottle my testicular sweat, bottle it and sell it as a perfume/good omen of success. I could call it Testicular Fortitude by Gekko.

No Compute, I like the way you think, kid. How about this: I show you the ropes on Wall Street and in return, you can manage my new product. By the way, would you own a treadmill by any chance? I figure that would be the best way to work up a sweat form my scrotum. We can produce a sample bottle and sell it to a distributor. Distributors will be sucking on our kneecaps in no time!

[No Compute]

That sounds like a plan, I guess I should start calling you boss.

[Gordon Gekko]

That sounds like a plan, I guess I should start calling you boss.

No. Master has a better ring to it and overall it is more fitting of our professional relationship.