Random Freestyle (Feedback Plz)

[Reef]

Check it out.. I jus started rhymin 4 no reason.. this is what i came up wiv..

you aint on my level on whatever level you think your on/
atomic or physical you aint touchin me if you are; what you been drinkin on?/
im bubonic, i plauge your mind like the chronic the love i got for this shit is platonic/
cause i aint willin to blow up, unless i got the impact of a supernova/
become luminous, i shine in the bitches eyes like im cassanova wit a rose in my mouth/
gareefa becomes the watcher something you cant comprehend/
influencing kids with my brain, words and actions but in the end/
the shit's jus hard to explain with all these destractions,/
attractions, fatal attractions cause me to watch you closer than before/
a rapper, rhyme composer, some define me as hardcore/
but ima watch you closer and closer cause thats my design/
standin, waitin in line, waitin for my fate to be served/
every striaght line i curved and nothin will ever be what is seems/
you neva seen me, wanna be me? i'll rip you at the seams!/
empty dreams and tears of blood, tears of love, ill like breakin the neck of a dove/
when push comes to shove, i can be nice, but usually im a asshole like Obie Trice/
but think twice before confrontation, cause i show now hesitation when i squeeze

[Xearo]

Hot shit right there...

NICE PIECE WATCHER...

[Pillow]

yo man that was some hot ass shit for real man *OUCH, my fucking keys are hot!* LOL keep rhymin

[Reef]

yo man that was some hot ass shit for real man *OUCH, my fucking keys are hot!* LOL keep rhymin

lol


Thanx for tha feedback people

[bez]

dopeness. real good man, your the bomb

[Kill]

Nice piece, fun to read

[:-:Mistah Menace:-:]

Dope Ish, Flow, Vocab, Everythin'
Keep It Droppin' Homie, Can't Wait To Hear You Rap SumThin'...

Peace
1

[da_notorious_mack]

"empty dreams and tears of blood, tears of love, ill like breakin the neck of a dove/
when push comes to shove, i can be nice, but usually im a asshole like Obie Trice"

that was nice as hell,you improved so much since i first came here....overall id give this 7/10

[bez]

"empty dreams and tears of blood, tears of love, ill like breakin the neck of a dove/
when push comes to shove, i can be nice, but usually im a asshole like Obie Trice"

that was nice as hell,you improved so much since i first came here....overall id give this 7/10

yo mack why dont u ever rate any of my songs man?

[@Ss@sSiN]

there aint enough zeros?

nah j/p