Failure

[TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96']

He's 16, he's white in the suburbs
So he must be livin the life, right?
Then why does he wish to kill himself
when he goes to bed every night?

You think I'm a failure now
Well that's nothing to how I was then
I closed myself to the whole world
and contemplated the end

My only motivation
was I'd be dead tomorrow
Somehow that thought helped me
through the pain and sorrow

What's wrong with you?
You crazy or something?
Shit I've been wanting to know
The same thing, no frontin...

Ask myself everyday,
What's wrong with myself
Why can't I get up
and do shit for myself

Life was so good up thru 14
Now why the fuck
do I stare daily out this screen
with a cold stare so mean

Beautifully manicured yards outside
But inside there's an ugly sigh
that's made louder by
A world that envy's my life

But guess what mutherfucker
Now I know the secret
Alot of the shit I was going thru
Was definitely not needed

I didn't need to be
locking myself in bathrooms
running from alcoholic lies and fables
Being chased around kitchen-tables

But this shit happens to others in world
And they receive out-pour of sympathy
But for me I get nothin but hatred and envy
Guess that's just how it be

Guess I'm just supposed to suck it up
Act like it ain't ever happened
And act as confused as you
about why I'm never laughin'

You got your ready made excuses
Or comforts when you fail
But at 16 I was fucked up failing
And the world laughed at my hell

They cursed me and the day I was born
They looked at my whole life with scorn
They thought about what they'd be doing
With all that money and opportunity

So I cursed the "privileged" life
Wished I'd never had it
Cursed all ego and pride
and searched deep inside

I found something
but it wasn't what they wanted
Started to express myself differently
So they fronted

I'd been failing so much
using their way,
so I might as well do my own
But failure now I never know

Honestly I've never
known failure since
Since I moved out at 18
that's how my life went

Cause everything I've risked
I've risked on my own terms
And every time I get burned
It's a new thing that I've learned

And every time when I succeed
I feel an inner-peace
that copy's and cowards
could never ever see

[maximus]

Cause everything I've risked
I've risked on my own terms
And every time I get burned
It's a new thing that I've learned

real shit... bookends was dope man