Poor Mohammed

[Sikotic™]

My homie Mohammed that works at the Vons down the street 's car broke down, so he had to borrow his mom's brand new Beemer.

So since he always lets me use his employee discount card, I go there to go pick up some groceries. I'm driving through the parking lot and I see this old 80's Volvo smashed right into the BMW. I didn't know who's car it was tho.

So I'm talkin with Mohammed in the frozen section of Vons while he's putting up some ice cream sandwiches lol. Anyways, I was like "Damn man, someone crashed their car right into some new BMW. Someone's gonna be pissed off." He heard what I said and ran the fuck outta the store lol.

It turns out some old lady put her car in Neutral instad of park and it rolled right into his mom's car lmao. I mean everythings cool and the insurance will pay for it, but its still fucked up ya know lol.

[Now_Im_Not_Banned]

DAYMMMNNN!

[Don Jacob]

there would be a dead old lady if that happened to my baby

[Trauma-san]

Man, I used to work at Winn Dixie.  Cool stuff like this used to happen all the time, LOL.  Some of the best memories of my life are from the grocery store, LOL.


Like, since you mentioned a beamer, it reminded me... this guy comes in one day, parks his beamer in the handicap spot (first parking space)... walks in, suit, sunglasses, tie, the whole works.  Walks back to the wine section, and gets two of those BIG ASS bottles of wine, you know the gallon bottles.  Starts walking straight out the door, LOL... my buddy Jim, front end manager, starts running after the guy, dude hops in his beamer, slams it in reverse, and tries to run over Jim as he speeds through the fire lane, squeals tires around the corner, and he's gone.  LOL  WTF? The wine was like, 5 bucks a bottle, and the guy was driving a 60 thousand dollar car, and wearing a 1500 dollar suit.  LOL.  

[Sikotic™]

Man, I used to work at Winn Dixie.  Cool stuff like this used to happen all the time, LOL.  Some of the best memories of my life are from the grocery store, LOL.


Like, since you mentioned a beamer, it reminded me... this guy comes in one day, parks his beamer in the handicap spot (first parking space)... walks in, suit, sunglasses, tie, the whole works.  Walks back to the wine section, and gets two of those BIG ASS bottles of wine, you know the gallon bottles.  Starts walking straight out the door, LOL... my buddy Jim, front end manager, starts running after the guy, dude hops in his beamer, slams it in reverse, and tries to run over Jim as he speeds through the fire lane, squeals tires around the corner, and he's gone.  LOL  WTF? The wine was like, 5 bucks a bottle, and the guy was driving a 60 thousand dollar car, and wearing a 1500 dollar suit.  LOL.  

lmao...if I worked at a grocery store and I see someone run out with some items I wouldn't go after them. I used to know this one security guard who came to the US from Egypt like 6 or 7 months before he started working there. Some people ran out with merchandise. So the guard (forgot his name) runs out and chases them. First off, he's an unarmed guard so what is he gonna do if he catches up to the guys lol. Anyways, they run to a truck in the parking lot and two other guys hop out of the truck and beat the crap out of him. None of the employees even helped him lol.

So it's a pretty good idea not to go after those shoplifters because they usually have a back-up plan, like running you down or beating you up.

[Trauma-san]

Nah, it wasn't like that with us.  We were happy to see action.  And if the guy gets away, that's the end of the action, LOL.  So, we'd chase people all the time.  

I worked photo lab for a while, front of the store... well, the ciggarettes were right next to us.  My manager in photo was Roger, this REALLY COOL guy from England, had been in the war, and all this crap, lol.  Anyways, he was huge... probably 300 pounds, 6'5.  Old, though, but didn't look it... he was like 70, but looked like he was about 45.  Seriously.. well, he kept a damn pole, like a club or something right on the counter, because people would come in, and steal ciggarettes.  one day, this guy comes in, gets a whole basket of ciggaretes (we knew what was up), and then ran out the door (his car was in the fire lane).  Roger gets up, grabs his club, and runs out front, BAM hits the front windshield of the car... the guy looked like he was gonna piss himself, the whole front windshield shatterred, then fell in on his lap (in 1 big piece since it was safety glass, LOL)... the guy driving took off, and they got away too, Roger's standing out there cussing at the guy.

We used to love stuff like that.  I chased people all the time, it was fun.  I got like 100 stories about people stealing stuff.

P.S., at the same time, I was stealing CASES of free film and stuff out the back door.  All my friends used to come in, and get the HOOK UP.  I stole my brother ciggarettes all the time... but i'll be DAMN if soembody gonna steal something without my say so.  LOL

[Now_Im_Not_Banned]

Damn...Trauma is a cool cat...LoL

[Instant_Killa]

don worry about it sikotic, things like these happen to ppl, but they get over it...besides the insurance is gonna pay for it so tell ur friend to look at the bright side

[bez]

lol dammmmmmm

[Doggystylin]

LMAO

[Sikotic™]

Nah, it wasn't like that with us.  We were happy to see action.  And if the guy gets away, that's the end of the action, LOL.  So, we'd chase people all the time.  

I worked photo lab for a while, front of the store... well, the ciggarettes were right next to us.  My manager in photo was Roger, this REALLY COOL guy from England, had been in the war, and all this crap, lol.  Anyways, he was huge... probably 300 pounds, 6'5.  Old, though, but didn't look it... he was like 70, but looked like he was about 45.  Seriously.. well, he kept a damn pole, like a club or something right on the counter, because people would come in, and steal ciggarettes.  one day, this guy comes in, gets a whole basket of ciggaretes (we knew what was up), and then ran out the door (his car was in the fire lane).  Roger gets up, grabs his club, and runs out front, BAM hits the front windshield of the car... the guy looked like he was gonna piss himself, the whole front windshield shatterred, then fell in on his lap (in 1 big piece since it was safety glass, LOL)... the guy driving took off, and they got away too, Roger's standing out there cussing at the guy.

We used to love stuff like that.  I chased people all the time, it was fun.  I got like 100 stories about people stealing stuff.

P.S., at the same time, I was stealing CASES of free film and stuff out the back door.  All my friends used to come in, and get the HOOK UP.  I stole my brother ciggarettes all the time... but i'll be DAMN if soembody gonna steal something without my say so.  LOL

LMAO! Roger's gangsta

[Trauma-san]

Yeah, he is.  He used to know John Lennon, and the Moody Blues.  He flew a copter in Nam, and had videotapes, from a camera he had taped to the front of his copter, I kid you not.  Amazing stuff.  You could sit there and watch him flying over nam, I used to go over to his house.  I saw him about a month ago, walking down the street, still looked exactly the same, LOL.

He was in the war, and they used some sort of nerve gas or something; anyways, AGENT ORANGE BACKLASH, I guess, but man, from his knees down, his legs are blueish purple.  One day, this chick at work kicked him (really, really light, as ajoke) and a piece of his leg fell off, it looked like a  piece of turkey or something.  His legs are so tender, that if you hit them, they just fall right off his bones,  I couldn't believe it.  He still had a wound, an open wound, like 6 months later.  He's been in constant pain for like 20 years now, but learned how to just block it out; the doctors tried to get him to amputate his legs back in the day, but he did't want to lose them, so he just suffered through it!  About 2 years ago, this technoledgy came along to graft veins into his legs, which allieviated alot of the pain, and helped the circulation, and everything, so I'll bet he's glad he waited.  Dude's a straight up player, he's met Frank Sinatra, all that cool stuff you can ever imagine.  He's had a really full life.  

[Don Jacob]

yuck that's gross, so he could just sit there an tear off hunk of his leg til there was just bone there?


man that' s a visual that'll stick with me

[Trauma-san]

Well, I guess he probably could, yeah.  He never did, though, LOL.  I dunno what the problem was, but he said it was from the gas they used in the war.  His legs didn't get proper circulation, so all the meat on his legs was very sensitive, and I swear, it looked like a thanksgiving turkey, just think the word "flesh" and you'll get the appropriate visual.  He always wore big socks, or like a type of bandage over them, almost like a burn victim's bandage, just a gauze covering that kinda protected everything.