Lifestyle > Train of Thought
Em's "Bezerk" makes me reflect into how Em's music has effected my life
TraceOneInfinite:
Hearing Eminem's new song "Bezerk" gave me that high I used to get every time I would hear a new song from him back in the day. My life could not have been any worse at the time Eminem's "My Name Is" first came out.
People who lack insight, might have looked at me life on the outside and thought that it was okay. Because I had money, suburbs, friends, athletic, my own and the typical things that teenagers are supposed to have to fit into the "American Dream" scenario.
But as Rumi writes (paraphrasing)
"Thirst and hunger are small worries,
for a thirst can be quenched
but it is the fear of hunger,
when one is full of stomach,
that can never be fulfilled."
Such a beautiful poem, that explains my life in those times. How I interpret that poem and how it parallels my life is thus, when you are missing something obvious like food, it is not a serious problem. For you know where to get food, and once you find it and eat you know you will feel better. But if you have a full stomach, and still you are not satisfied, then this is a very serious problem. Because what does one do then?
You see... A hex had been placed on me on August 22nd, 1996. That was the day that my girlfriend, Ashley, moved away to live with her mom in Maryland. (A couple weeks later, the greatest artist of all-time, 2pac, was murdered, btw)
It was during that time, that a Jinn placed a HEX on me. A great HEX was put over my brain and body, making it impossible for me to think of anything other than my "Chakra".
My "chakra" started in my lower back on the 2nd Day of basketball tryouts freshman year. I had had a sensational first day of tryouts. I felt I had performed better than ever. The coach brought me into the office on the 2nd Day and told me that at that point he had me down as the number 3 guard on the A team. I felt I had given my best and still I was number 3. I pushed myself so hard that day that I woke up the next morning with some lower back pain. I took 4 advil to make the pain go away, and on Day 3 of tryouts I had another sensational day of practice.
But it was during those first 3 days of tryouts that I became acutely aware of my change in "Chakra". See, my chakra during my youth had been on my inner arm and elbow. It had given me pinpoint accuracy in throwing a baseball and in shooting a basketball.
The "Chakra" during those years was sort of like a circular motion, like throwing a baseball, or like when Snoop and Kurupt would throw up the DPG sign 8) Those were good years in my life.
But when the evil Jinn moved my "Chakra" moved from the lower part of my inner right arm and into my lower back, it placed a Hex over me. For, every moving second I could think of nothing but my lower back, my pain. I recall walking back and forth in my room at night to see if I could get myself to thinking of anything other than my "Chakra" (my lower back) while walking. But the HEX could not be lifted.
The great HEX remained. I was able to consciously move the HEX from my lower back to my leg, and then later to my foot. This took the pressure off my back and allowed me to have a successful sophmore year of basketball. But still, the HEX remained. And every moving moment of my life, I was waking and chewing gum at the same time. Meaning I was doing whatever I was doing and thinking of my "Chakra" at the same time.
Then Eminem came out with "My Name Is". And the HEX was lifted. His rhymes were a spell, that lifted the HEX from me, first through his words, and then through the art of imitation I was expressing myself and taking the excess weight off of my chakra.
**************************
Part 2:
There's a parable I heard once when I was traveling with a group of Sufi Muslims. The parable goes like this...
Moses was sick. So he prayed to God to cure him. God responded to go to such and such tree, and there he would find the cure. So he went to the tree and there he found the cure. Some time passed and Moses got sick again. So Moses went back to the tree, but this time the tree did not cure him. He cried out to God "Why?". God explained that the cure was never in the Tree. The cure was in God, for God is the creator of all things. So if you want anything you must ask of God first and God will provide the sustenance.
So although Em's music had cured me of the HEX, I had made a deal with the devil. For I thought that it was Em and the music that had removed the HEX. When in reality, it was Allah, because Allah is the creator of all things. And Allah used Eminem as a means to lift the HEX upon me.
So I started following Allah. But once again I made a mistake. For I drowned myself so deeply into Allah, that I lost myself. To the point that I had a spiritual breakdown while in the Emirates in 2007.
After that breakdown, I had to start my life over again from scratch. Free of the HEX, I was able to look at myself for the first time without being overpowered by my CHAKRA. In fact, my CHAKRA had been completely lifted so that I had no Chakra at all. Not good Chakra or bad Chakra.
It was then that I got into individualist, Libertarian living. I found the book by Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World. He taught about how we are always looking to other people and to something outside ourselves, when if we just take our eyes off of other entanglements, and look at ourselves and out situation, then acting alone, nobody can stop us from achieving our own freedom and happiness.
Slowly I developed positive Chakra, during 4 month long stays in Africa. The positive Chakra now exists as a slow burn in my stomach, and it keeps me focused and moving forward.
Will_B:
But it's wack tho
Rick Venom:
how come the first single off every em album is trash?
Will_B:
--- Quote from: Rick Venom on August 28, 2013, 11:50:34 PM ---how come the first single off every em album is trash?
--- End quote ---
Pressure to meet/exceed expectations, and label bullshit
TraceOneInfinite:
--- Quote from: Rick Venom on August 28, 2013, 11:50:34 PM ---how come the first single off every em album is trash?
--- End quote ---
because your trying to hard to prove your hip-hop fan of the year... and your afraid to say you like something that pop fans like... Either that or it's ahead of it's time and it takes you time to catch up.
but fuck that. If it's dope it's dope. And "My Name Is", "Real Slim Shady" were both great songs. And "Bezerk" is also a great lead single.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
Go to full version