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New Poems To God

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Cubic Zirconia:
I'm done God
Got nobody
You're gunna have to keep me as your own
Coz I ain't bowin down to no damn crown of cunt perched upon a throne
I'm struggling everyday God
Tryin to find myself a home
Tryin to find something to invest in
I give up
It's me
Alone
And they see that as an in
They see my kindness as a flaw
You think they'd be appreciative
Coz I would be in awe
And cunts know that
They act fake
Their nice is a shadow to mask their hate
But no cunt wanna test emselves
They just want easy bait
I'm struggling God
Don't wanna go back to old ways
Don't wanna scam no man
Don't wanna get violent or deranged
Don't wanna hurt those closest
Don't wanna put no one at risk
So it's just you and me now God
I swear
I'm sick and tired of this shit
Fuck em God
Nobody wanna recognise my pain
Or if they do they wanna profit from it
I'll say that shit again
Nobody wanna recognise my pain
Nobody wanna put respect on my muthafuckin name
Nobody give a fuck bout me
Nobody even care
They thought I was so desperate coz I dared
So fuck em
Nobody gettin jack shit outta me
Fuck em God
It's just us from here unto eternity
Eternally

Cubic Zirconia:
I think the voice is real God
I think I hear Devils too
They chantin inside my mind
You should hear the shit They say bout you
They can be gentle
Sometimes all they say they wanna be held
So I put my arms around em in my mind just like a spell
I hear em God
And sometimes I think they real
Not sure what to make of it
Not sure how to feel
Sometimes I think they deamons
Sometimes I think they Gods
Sometimes I feel their warm embrace and brake down and start to sob
Sometimes I miss em
Sometimes they make me mad
I start cursing em out out loud
Then I get a little sad
Coz they don't like my anger
The Devil does
He likes to keep me on my toes
My god like lover has me breathin heavy and movin' to and fro
The Devil's chant BLM sarcastically and shit
The Gods tell me they know when I admit
The Devil makes me hateful
The Gods make me feel hope
The Devil tries to choke me
The Gods make me feel woke
I hear it God
And I don't know what to do
I've done everything the doctors ask but I think they devils too
Having me put under anaesthesia
Electrocuted and God knows what
They call it therapeutic but Nazis invented that fuckin rot
I don't know what to do God
I wanna trust the gentle voice
I wanna trust his comfort
I wanna trust I have a choice
I don't wanna hear these devils but good do come with the bad
So what am I to do God
Just trust till I been had
Now I'm mad again
But I don't wanna start cursing n shit
My neighbours must think I'm somethin other than fuckin schizophrenic
I don't care bout bein crazy
I don't care bout bein wronged
I just want peace of mind so I can keep on keepin on

Cubic Zirconia:
They don't get it God
I live inside my mind
Most my thoughts are warm and kind
Occasionally I gets to thinkin wild
Jump up in a fit of rage
Start cursing
True God I'm just deranged
But most times I'm laughing at nothin but my thoughts
I even laugh about abuse and battles that I fought
I think romantically
Not candle lit dinners
Or roses and chocolates
Please
I think bout having someone not gunna make me feel insecure for being me
Sometimes when I'm in the mood I think a bit naughty
Turns me on
Not like my Imaginary lover who feels just like a song
Coz he don't make me shame
Not like my freaky ways
Thinkin rough and all that shit
But after I just feel like a piece of shit
God
I'll tell ya
Coz I got no one else to tell
I'm just trying in my mind not to wake up in Hell
I try to think the opposite of truth
But it's obvious I'm at risk and the lengths that they'll go to
They call me a traitor God
There's a special place in Hell for souls like me
The kinda pain you can't explain
No escape
No hope of getting free
God
I tried to think my way out of this one
Turn it into a righteous suffering
That's won't help me none
So I succumb God
Just live inside my mind
Try and keep that special part of me that no damn man can find
Devils will concentrate on lames like me
Kinda like how they will a man to miss a home run swing or make a 3
I dunno God
All I really got is my mind
And I'm losing it
Not sure I'll ever find it once it's gone

Cubic Zirconia:
Trust nobody
Love nothing
No one and nothing but myself
You gon send my ass to Hell God for saying shit like that
Do tell
I know you can't intervene
If you could we'd all be safe
I know you'd bring more justice than just a smile on my old face
Should I be cruel God
I know I should be firm
I don't wanna preach to no one
EVERYBODY gonna learn
Everybody gonna burn?
EVERYBODY fuckin hurts
Everybody got they own passions God
Some find them in your words
Within your works
But if I'm your child
And you're guiding me through life
Are these your words
Have you inspired everything I've come to write
I've written sonnets
I've written Psalms
I've sang your gospels
I've read hyms
Are these your words God
Is it your works that bring my soul a song to sing
I'm not testing faith God
I've been tested
It's tiresome
A chore
Constantly seeking to convince a disbeliever
It's a bore
And what's more
Some simply just don't wanna be convinced
I'm asking God
You're answering
I'm writing without having to think
I was on the brink
I know I'll sleep peacefully tonight
That's doesn't mean I won't feel fear
That doesn't mean I won't feel fright
But once again you've answered
As these words flow through my veins
I just wish to thank you humbly once again

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