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Letter I just sent my x from 96’ thru facebook
TraceOneInfinite:
I wrote this letter for you to wish you Happy Birthday 🎁🎂 🎁 and I hope you won’t mind it too much.
“March 8th is a day I remember. 20 (last night I talked to you) 21 (day you left) 22 (first day without you) 96’ is a year I remember. But just like Television 📺 and movies 🍿 have spin-offs—the summer of 1998 is worthy of its own Ashley spinoff show.
The #1 video that summer was “Iris” from the City of Angels 😇 Soundtrack “and I’d give up forever to see you, because I know that you feel me somehow” featured the lead singer of the Goo Goo Dolls John Rzeznik as an angel 😇 on top of towers looking down from Heaven through telescopes 🔭 giving up the Kingdom of Heaven for a life of pain and suffering on Earth.
I was looking that summer into your empty bedroom. Nobody lived there anymore and it had became a storage room for the childless couple who had moved in after you.
The sun ☀️ was the brightest it has ever been that year and the Earth was the stillest it had ever been that summer of 98’.
Though the lights were never turned on in the room, there were days the sun would shine so bright into your room that I could see the shadow of a chest and some boxes 📦 in the room.
There was a box and a chest inside of me ❤️ where I kept up to that time every memory and moment we ever had, and every wish and dream I ever had for us.
You wrote at the beginning of that summer. We were inspired from a spring of KC and JoJo and “Anytime” Brian McKnight—and it seemed for some weeks like every memory I ever had of us was real and like every wish I ever had for us would come true.
But when the letters stopped coming that summer rather then cry 😭 in sadness—I wrote you (were a “Ghetto Superstar, run away with me, to another land and rely on each other”) in anger instead.
Now to today. You, Ashley Palmer who once held my world in the palms of your hands (the most perfect hands 🙌 I’ve ever known)—back when my world of 98’ was still, young—settled, and lightened by the brightest sun ☀️—while I was doing everything on the outside to destroy it—while keeping in my chest ❤️ a box 📦 that protected us from everything in the outside world. (It was because I allowed the outside world to be destroyed that I was able to protect what was inside that box 📦). I “gave up forever to see you, cause I knew that you feel me somehow, closest to heaven that I’d ever been.”
Now the world is fragile and 20-21-22 saw them lock 🔒 the world down and cover 😷 faces in shame—left to wonder if freedom 🗽 will ever ring again.
“The present asks questions and the future answers them.”
In the palms of Ashley Palmer (the most perfect hands 🙌 I’ve ever known) is there predicted doom?
The world no longer looks the way it did in 98’ when I looked upon your room and “just want you to know who I am”—“giving up forever”. Fate hangs in the balance like an angel 😇 in 98’ hanging over the top of humanity and jumping towards destiny of human suffering plunging into nothingness of heartbreaks and boulevards of broken dreams for what seems like love and something worth seeing and bleeding just to know we’re alive”.
Sccit:
bro as poetic as the wording is, you know she’s just going to look at you as a pathetic stalker who is insanely obsessive over a relationship that ended 25+ years ago, right?
she clearly doesn’t share the same feelings as u, so it won’t touch her in the way you’d hope, and most likely will even have an adverse effect.
imo this will make her think you’re an overemotional lunatic who struggles with his sanity and went nowhere with his life…
just keepin it a buck wit u mayn. not a good look. i could be wrong tho, so do you.
TraceOneInfinite:
--- Quote from: Sccit on February 28, 2022, 05:56:39 PM ---bro as poetic as the wording is, you know she’s just going to look at you as a pathetic stalker who is insanely obsessive over a relationship that ended 25+ years ago, right?
she clearly doesn’t share the same feelings as u, so it won’t touch her in the way you’d hope, and most likely will even have an adverse effect.
imo this will make her think you’re an overemotional lunatic who struggles with his sanity and went nowhere with his life…
just keepin it a buck wit u mayn. not a good look. i could be wrong tho, so do you.
--- End quote ---
You see what you just did? You immediately turned to…what this “looks like” or “what’s the perception of this” or “what will she think?” “How does this look?”
Is this how you live your life?
Now… the good part you started out with was “how poetic this is”.. that was the real Sccit, and the reality, and that is the truth side and what matters.
But as soon as you jump to—“well what will she (people) think” now it all becomes a charade.
Whatever happened to keepin it real? That’s all that should matter. You think it, you believe it, and you express it, with your own mind you know.
“Hiphop, DJing, Mc-ing, with your own mind you know” Gang Star -You Know My Steez
Sccit:
--- Quote from: Infinite Trapped in 1996 on March 01, 2022, 01:14:34 AM ---You see what you just did? You immediately turned to…what this “looks like” or “what’s the perception of this” or “what will she think?” “How does this look?”
Is this how you live your life?
Now… the good part you started out with was “how poetic this is”.. that was the real Sccit, and the reality, and that is the truth side and what matters.
But as soon as you jump to—“well what will she (people) think” now it all becomes a charade.
Whatever happened to keepin it real? That’s all that should matter. You think it, you believe it, and you express it, with your own mind you know.
“Hiphop, DJing, Mc-ing, with your own mind you know” Gang Star -You Know My Steez
--- End quote ---
tbh i was tryna be nice, but it looks pathetic and desperate to me as well
i was just tryna help u realize it witout bein too harsh
i guess the old me woulda just called u a dumb faggot who’s too emotional to be a man
but the “new me” (grown me) cares about not embarrassing his folks in a public space
since u poked at me tho, i wont hold back
love always,
Sccit
TraceOneInfinite:
--- Quote from: Sccit on March 01, 2022, 01:45:00 AM ---tbh i was tryna be nice, but it looks pathetic and desperate to me as well
i was just tryna help u realize it witout bein too harsh
i guess the old me woulda just called u a dumb faggot who’s too emotional to be a man
but the “new me” (grown me) cares about not embarrassing his folks in a public space
since u poked at me tho, i wont hold back
love always,
Sccit
--- End quote ---
Yo.. you can spit it how you want homie I'm not offended, I actually appreciate the feedback.
99% of people just ignore it when I post my realest shit. So even if someone replies, "fucc you Infinite, you're a fuccing idiot and a piece of shit" that's still feedback nonetheless and better then most at the forum. As the proverb says, "apathy is worse than hatred". That's why I still give OG props to cats like Tom and Trauma even though they fuccin hate me (or Sikotic before he became cool with me) because I still value their feedback over apathy (and as a sidenote appreciate their taste in music which is why we are here in the first place).
That being said what if I am pathetic? What if I am desperate?
I was watching a youtube video of this homeless cat who was busting freestyles and that shit was fuccing raw. It was some bomb shit. Should he have kept his mouth shut and kept his thoughts to himself on account of him being "desperate" and "pathetic"?
"Your stressed verse/
Seems to be what the most thirst/
Makes fake niccaz disperse/
and challenge your words"
Prodigy and Nas "Self-Conscience"
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