E. 1999 Eternal RAP PAGES review

[_That_Cracka_J]

While I was digging through some old magazines I ran across an issue of Rap Pages magazine from September 1995 and found this Bone Thugs review for E. 1999 Eternal.  I shake my head every time I read it:

5/10

WARNING!!!  DON'T PLAY THIS TAPE WHILE DRIVING OR HANDLING HARMFUL CHEMICALS:  CAN CAUSE FAILURE TO STAY AWAKE.
     This label should be slapped on the cover of the new full-length Bone album rather than that censorship bullshit tag.  Once again, here's another album that suffers from "Big Worm Syndrome."  All that is talked about is weed, money and murder.  Bone unsucessfully tries to pump life into three of the most overused and dried-out concepts in rap.
     Don't get me wrong--much props to them Thugs for bringing a whole new realm of rap to the industry.  Their style, a cross between E-40 and the Delfonics, definitely caught my attention in the beginning.  Maybe it's just the hoochie in me, but their first two singles, "Thuggish Ruggish Bone" and "Foe tha luv of Money" were tight.  The music, lyrics and projection was some quality work.  Unfortunately, that was then and this is now.  I guess harmony went out with the Nine-Quad.
     Most of side 1 was not impressive.  The cuts sound too identical, making it difficult to tell what was the beginning or end of any of the songs.  It seemed like the same drops, the same beats, bridges and lyrics.  Futhermore, they are some iambic pentameter muthafuckaz, because even the rhythm of the rhyme didn't change.  "Down 71 (Getaway)" kind of broke the monotony on the first side.  With a slightly upbeat tempo, it puts a little twist on things.  I couldn't celebrate too fast, because as soon as the song finishes, it's back to the same ol' heave-ho, boring ass shit.
     The second side saves their asses from being a complete flop.  For some reason the tracks have much more energy and feel.  Maybe someone dipped their joints into something lovely to make them come alive.  Several of the songs on side 2 caught my ear.  "Die Die Die" was pretty straight.  The music had an eerie, Tales from the Darkside feel with a touch of reggae dancehall that gave the song flava.  The quick speaking excerpts in the midst of the track aslo added humor.  I can't front--I liked, I really liked.
     Then there is "Buddah Lovaz", Bone's version of the Isley Brothers' "Choosey Lover" from a weed-smokers perspective.  I almost died of laughter when I heard them  wailing and moaning about some damn weed.  That shit was ridiculously hilarious.  Bone turned a classic into one big, sick sample.  But you know what?  I won't be surprised if that song gets some attention from listeners.  
    The last and least of the songs to get me was "Mr. Quija".  Here the group has one big ghetto seance, asking if they will be the next to die.  Throughout the song all I kept asking was "Why in the hell are some thugs from Cleveland trying to use a British accent?"  It sounded like the Harlem version of the Beatles.  They really need to cut it on that one.
     I'm sorry to say, but the whole Bone Thugs-N-Harmony sound wore out faster than Das EFX.  They may have gotten juice last year, but they are dry as a bone on this one.  And what disappointed me the most is that Tosha doesn't sing on this album.  You know, that girl with the hoochie, twangy voice that made you want to put on a ton of fascara and wear some tight-ass Levi's and a T-shirt.  Maybe that's where they went wrong.
                                                    --Constant Elevation

[pappy]

worst review ever.  wow this is even as bad as vibe's review of all eyes on me

[Doggystylin]

that guy deserves to be hung off a bridge and then have people piss on his head.

[_That_Cracka_J]

Yeah, this has got to be the worst review ever....

The thing is I've got part of another review that the Entertainment section of our newspaper here did and they gave it 1/5!   WTF!!!!!!

Joe dick....what did the Vibe give All eyes on me?

[Darksider]

5/10.. ....i m not a big Bone Thugsnharmony fan but this cd is fuckin tight to me 8/10 if not better

[Skindiana bon3z]

Dam that has got to be the worst review ever....Thats bullshit....whoever reviewed it would probably give Ja rule a better review...what idiots.......

[Sikotic™]

Prolly sum old crusty bastard that enjoys classical reviewed it.

[LAZY]

GOD DAM fuck the guy that wrote that dam he shitted all over that cd and thats a top 10 cd on my list and i agree with Sikotic its prolly sum old guy that listens 2 classical music

[CharlieBrown]

I do like the album, but the reviewer does have a good point about it just being weed, hoes & murder and not bringing anything new to the table.

[Doggystylin]

I do like the album, but the reviewer does have a good point about it just being weed, hoes & murder and not bringing anything new to the table.

well then if thats the case then EVERY other album should have a 0/5 cuz they bring no new style and still rap about that shit.

[smartass]

lmao @ him saying das efx wore out..fag..

[shlomid1]

that guy deserves to be hung off a bridge and then have people piss on his head.

[mauzip]