Does anyone on the board play the "dozens,cracking,snaps,bagging"?

[mrtonguetwista]

Ya'll know.....YO MOMMA jokes

[OutSider]

http://www.switchmagazine.com/skateboard_information/your_momma_jokes.html

[Jome]

 Your mamma's so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

Your momma's aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back!

Your momma's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.

Your momma's breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.

Your momma's cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.

Your momma's feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!

Your momma's got a bald head with a part and sideburns.

Your momma's got a metal afro with rusty sideburns.

Your momma's got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.

Your momma's got a wooden leg with branches.

Your momma's got a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!

Your momma's got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!

Your momma's got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.

Your momma's got three fingers and a banjo.

Your momma's got two wooden legs and one is one backward.

Your momma's gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo.

Your momma's hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.

Your momma's hair so short she curls it with rice.

Your momma's hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

Your momma's has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.

Your momma's has 10 fingers--all on the same hand.

Your momma's has a 'fro with warning lights.

Your momma's has a glass eye with a fish in it.

Your momma's has a short arm and can't applaude.

Your momma's has a short leg and walks in circles.

Your momma's has a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.

Your momma's has green hair and thinks she's a tree.

Your momma's has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.

Your momma's has one hand and a Clapper.

Your momma's has one leg and a bicycle.

Your momma's has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.

Your momma's head so big it shows up on radar.

Your momma's head so big she has to step into her shirts.

Your momma's head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow.

Your momma's head so small that she got her ear pierced and died.

Your momma's hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.

Your momma's house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!

Your momma's house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.

Your momma's house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it.

Your momma's house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.

Your momma's in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more."

Your momma's is missing a finger and can't count past 9.

Your momma's like a bowling ball. She's picked up, fingered, and then thrown in the gutter.

Your momma's like a bubble-gum machine... five cents a blow.

Your momma's like a bus, fifty cents and she's ready to ride!

Your momma's like a bus: Guys climb on and off her all day long.

Your momma's like a doorknob - everyone gets a turn!

Your momma's like a golf course, everyone GETS a hole in one!

Your momma's like a hardware store: 4 cents a screw!

Your momma's like a refridgerator: everyone likes to put their meat in her!

Your momma's like a rifle... four cocks and she's loaded.

Your momma's like a screen door, after a couple bangs she tends to loosen up!

Your momma's like a shotgun: one cock and she blows!

Your momma's like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!

Your momma's like a tomato source bottle, everyone gets a squeeze out of her!

Your momma's like a Toyota: "Oh what a feelin'!"

Your momma's like a vaccuum cleaner.....a real good suck.

Your momma's like cake mix, 15 servings per package!

Your momma's like chinese food: sweet, sour and cheap!

Your momma's like Domino's pizza-- Something for nothing

Your momma's like Orange Crush: "Good Vibrations!"

Your momma's like potato chips-- Fri-to Lay

Your momma's like the pillbury doughboy - everyone gets a poke!

Your momma's like the railway system, she gets laid all over the country!

Your momma's lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.

Your momma's middle name is Rambo.

Your momma's mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.

Your momma's nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat!

Your momma's nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers!

Your momma's rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.

Your momma's so bald even a wig wouldn't help!

Your momma's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.

Your momma's so bald you can see whats on her mind

Your momma's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.

Your momma's so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.

Your momma's so dark she spits chocolate milk!

Your momma's so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

Your momma's so dark she went to night school and was marked absent.

Your momma's so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

Your momma's so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.

Your momma's so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Your momma's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Your momma's so fat every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Your momma's so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!

Your momma's so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.

Your momma's so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Your momma's so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Your momma's so fat her nickname is "DAMN"

Your momma's so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitches good side!

Your momma's so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Your momma's so fat people jog around her for exercise

Your momma's so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Your momma's so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

Your momma's so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Your momma's so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

Your momma's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Your momma's so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Your momma's so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Your momma's so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Your momma's so fat she got hit by a parked car!

Your momma's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Your momma's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Your momma's so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Your momma's so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Your momma's so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Your momma's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Your momma's so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Your momma's so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Your momma's so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Your momma's so fat she influences the tides.

Your momma's so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Your momma's so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Your momma's so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Your momma's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen!

Your momma's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint roller

Your momma's so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Your momma's so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Your momma's so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

Your momma's so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Your momma's so fat she stands in two time zones.

Your momma's so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Your momma's so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Your momma's so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Your momma's so fat she wakes up in sections!

Your momma's so fat she was baptised in the ocean.

Your momma's so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world

Your momma's so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!

Your momma's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Your momma's so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Your momma's so fat she's got her own area code!

Your momma's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Your momma's so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Your momma's so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views!

Your momma's so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

Your momma's so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.

Your momma's so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!

Your momma's so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Your momma's so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Your momma's so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Your momma's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Your momma's so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!

Your momma's so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Your momma's so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Your momma's so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Your momma's so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Your momma's so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

Your momma's so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Your momma's so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

Your momma's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Your momma's so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Your momma's so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Your momma's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Your momma's so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Your momma's so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Your momma's so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that

Your momma's so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!

Your momma's so fat when she jumped up in the sky she got stuck

Your momma's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Your momma's so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Your momma's so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Your momma's so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Your momma's so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Your momma's so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Your momma's so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Your momma's so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave., she landed on 12th

Your momma's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!"

Your momma's so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

Your momma's so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Your momma's so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Your momma's so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Your momma's so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Your momma's so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Your momma's so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her!

Your momma's so flat she's jealous of the wall!

Your momma's so greasy she sweats Crisco!

Your momma's so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!

Your momma's so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her

Your momma's so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

Your momma's so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock.

Your momma's so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.

Your momma's so hairy she's got afros on her nipples!

Your momma's so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!

Your momma's so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

Your momma's so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

Your momma's so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off

Your momma's so nasty she brings crabs to the beach

Your momma's so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!

Your momma's so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.

Your momma's so nasty she made right guard turn left.

Your momma's so nasty she made speed stick slow down.

Your momma's so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape.

Your momma's so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.

Your momma's so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave

Your momma's so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt

Your momma's so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".

Your momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Your momma's so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

Your momma's so old her social security number is 1!

Your momma's so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.

Your momma's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Your momma's so old she has Jesus' beeper number!

Your momma's so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Your momma's so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks!

Your momma's so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

Your momma's so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

Your momma's so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Your momma's so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!

Your momma's so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'

Your momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Your momma's so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

Your momma's so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Your momma's so poor she drives a peanut.

Your momma's so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

Your momma's so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

Your momma's so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

Your momma's so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

Your momma's so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

Your momma's so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!

Your momma's so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Your momma's so short she can play handball on the curb.

Your momma's so short she does backflips under the bed.

Your momma's so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Your momma's so short she poses for trophies!

Your momma's so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!

Your momma's so skinny she has to bundle up 'cause of the "thin chill factor"

Your momma's so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.

Your momma's so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio

Your momma's so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.

Your momma's so skinny that if she turns sideways and sticks out her tongue she looks like a zipper.

Your momma's so slutty I fucked her and I's a chick!

Your momma's so slutty she blind and seeing another man.

Your momma's so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!

Your momma's so slutty she could suck-start a Harley!

Your momma's so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive

Your momma's so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and it said "breakfast of the champs"

Your momma's so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.

Your momma's so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.

Your momma's so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!

Your momma's so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Your momma's so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

Your momma's so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Your momma's so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Your momma's so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Your momma's so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Your momma's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Your momma's so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Your momma's so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Your momma's so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Your momma's so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Your momma's so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

Your momma's so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Your momma's so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Your momma's so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Your momma's so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Your momma's so stupid she stole free bread.

Your momma's so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Your momma's so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Your momma's so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Your momma's so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Your momma's so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read

Your momma's so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Your momma's so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Your momma's so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Your momma's so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Your momma's so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Your momma's so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

Your momma's so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Your momma's so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Your momma's so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Your momma's so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

Your momma's so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.

Your momma's so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."

Your momma's so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Your momma's so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Your momma's so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Your momma's so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Your momma's so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Your momma's so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Your momma's so tall she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.

Your momma's so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.

Your momma's so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.

Your momma's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Your momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Your momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Your momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Your momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Your momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Your momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Your momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Your momma's so ugly she had to get her baby drunk to breastfeed it!

Your momma's so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Your momma's so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Your momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.

Your momma's so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Your momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Your momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Your momma's so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Your momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Your momma's so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Your momma's so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Your momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Your momma's so ugly The NHL banned her for life

Your momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Your momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Your momma's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Your momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Your momma's so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!

Your momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Your momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"

Your momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Your momma's so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Your momma's so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.

Your momma's teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.

Your momma's teeth are so yellow she spits butter!

Your momma's teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!

Your momma's wears knee-pads and yells "Curb Service!"

Your momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.

Your momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

Your momma's twice the man you are.

If my dog had a face as ugly as Your momma's, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards.

It took Your momma 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat!

I saw Your momma kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said "Moving."

I saw Your momma at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle.    

Yo mama's so big her belly button's got an echo.
Yo mama's so big she cant wear an X jacket cause choppers keep landing on her back
Yo mama's so big she uses I-95 for a Slip 'n Slide
Yo mama's so big that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
Yo mama's so big when she goes to the movie theatre she sits next to everybody.
Yo mama's so big when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway
Yo mama's so big, it takes her 2 hours just to haul ass.
Yo mama's so fat a picture of her would fall off the wall!
Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat butt out of the way.
Yo mama's so fat at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo mama's so fat every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Yo mama's so fat her blood type is ragu
Yo mama's so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.
Yo mama's so fat her yearbook picture is an arial
Yo mama's so fat if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!
Yo mama's so fat if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!
Yo mama's so fat if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!
Yo mama's so fat n black she jumped in the ocean and they ungee jumped and went straight to hell
Yo mama's so fat she can't even tie her own shoes.
Yo mama's so fat she can't reach her back pocket.
Yo mama's so fat she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs
Yo mama's so fat she dries her pants in the driveway
Yo mama's so fat she eats biscuits like tic tacs
Yo mama's so fat she eats wheat thicks.
Yo mama's so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama's so fat she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
Yo mama's so fat she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama's so fat she has more nooks and crannies than Thomas' English Muffin.
Yo mama's so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama's so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama's so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big
Yo mama's so fat she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Chicago, NY ..
Yo mama's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama's so fat she sat on a quarter and squished a booger out of George Washington's nose
Yo mama's so fat she sat on the corner and the police came & said "break it up!"
Yo mama's so fat she shows up on radar.
Yo mama's so fat she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H D
Yo mama's so fat she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out
Yo mama's so fat she uses a hula hoop to hold up her socks
Yo mama's so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama's so fat she uses a pillow case as a sock.
Yo mama's so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mama's so fat she wears a VCR for a beeper.
Yo mama's so fat she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy
Yo mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family
Yo mama's so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama's so fat that when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama's so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama's so fat they had to baptize her at Sea World
Yo mama's so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mama's so fat uses blanket as a washcloth
Yo mama's so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama's so fat when i took her to the beach, little keds surron "Free Willy, Free WIlly"
Yo mama's so fat when she backs up she beeps
Yo mama's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama's so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama's so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mama's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama's so fat when she sits around the house she REALLY sits AROUND the house
Yo mama's so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama's so fat when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool Aid .."
Yo mama's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama's so fat when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water.
Yo mama's so fat when the bitch goes to an all You can eat buffet, they  have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama's so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mama's so fat you smell like bacon at 90 degrees
Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips.
Yo mama was so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama's so dumb she has  1 toe & bought a pair of flip flops
Yo mama's so dumb she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo mama's so dumb she sat on TV & watched the couch
Yo mama's so dumb she thought St Ides was a Catholic church.
Yo mama's so dumb she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so dumb she took a spoon to the Super Bowl
Yo mama's so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama's so dumb that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."
Yo mama's so dumb, she cooked her own complimentary breakfast.
Yo mama's so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
Yo mama's so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so dumb, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."
Yo mama's so dumb, when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo mama's so stupid at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagitarius.
Yo mama's so stupid he got a part time job painting skittles
Yo mama's so stupid instead of taking 4 bus she took the 2 bus twice
Yo mama's so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Mins
Yo mama's so stupid on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911
Yo mama's so stupid she asked for a price check at the 99 cent store
Yo mama's so stupid she asked me what kinda jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Ah Levis?"
Yo mama's so stupid she jumped out the window and went up
Yo mama's so stupid she said "what's that letter after x" and i said Y she said "cause I wana know"
Yo mama's so stupid she stands up on an empty bus.
Yo mama's so stupid she studied for blood test & failed.
Yo mama's so stupid she thought BOYZ2MEN was a daycare center.
Yo mama's so stupid she thought hamburger helper came with another person
Yo mama's so stupid she thought meow mix was a record for cats
Yo mama's so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on soul train
Yo mama's so stupid she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.
Yo mama's so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read
Yo mama's so stupid that she go hit by a parked car.
Yo mama's so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama's so stupid that she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.
Yo mama's so stupid that she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.
Yo mama's so stupid when she saw "under 17 not admitted"  sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama's so stupid when Yo dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen her since.
Yo mama's so stupid, she asked You "What is the number for 911".
Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where You pay Yo telephone bill.
Yo mama's so stupid, that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama's so ugly  when she joined an ugly contest, they said "sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama's so ugly had to get her baby drunk just so she could breastfeed.
Yo mama's so ugly her face is closed on weekends!
Yo mama's so ugly her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the mamas to play with her.
Yo mama's so ugly her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel
Yo mama's so ugly I took her to haunted house and she came out with a job application
Yo mama's so ugly I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "thanks for bringing her back
Yo mama's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around  her neck
Yo mama's so ugly just after she was born, her mama'said "What a treasure!" and her  father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama's so ugly she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it
Yo mama's so ugly she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
Yo mama's so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
Yo mama's so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock!
Yo mama's so ugly she has to trick or treat over the phone
Yo mama's so ugly she looks  out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo mama's so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo mama's so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo mama's so ugly she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back
Yo mama's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama's so ugly that Yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mama's so ugly the doctor is still smacking her ass
Yo mama's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo mama's so ugly the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train
Yo mama's so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
Yo mama's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo mama's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Yo mama's so ugly they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
Yo mama's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo mama's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama's so ugly they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty
Yo mama's so ugly when she passes by a bathoom the toilet flushes.
Yo mama's so ugly when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.
Yo mama's so ugly when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
Yo mama's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo mama's so ugly when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows
Yo mama's so ugly when she was born the doctor smacked everYone.
Yo mama's so ugly when she was born, her mama'saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"
Yo mama's so ugly when she was born, the doctor slapped HER mama!
Yo mama's so ugly Yo dad first met her at the pound
Yo mama's so ugly You could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies
Yo mama was such an ugly baby that her parents had to feed her with slingshots.
When Yo mama was born they had to take her out of the trash can cause doctor said "Throw this shit away!"
Yo mama's so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo mama's so greasy she sweats crisco
Yo mama's so greasy she uses bacon as a band aid
Yo mama's so greasy when she slid into second she ended in detroit
Yo mama's so hairy Bigfoot takes pictures of her
Yo mama's so hairy her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock
Yo mama's so hairy looks like a chia pet with a sweater on
Yo mama's so hairy she has afros on her nipples
Yo mama's so nasty she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles
Yo mama's so nasty she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
Yo mama's so nasty I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection
Yo mama's so nice she'd give me the hair off her back
Yo mama's so smelly, that her shit is glad to escape.
Yo mama smells like hot ass on a cold day.
Yo mama smells so bad herr Sure deoderant is confused and her Secret told on her.
Yo mama's so stank she made Right Guard go left, Speed Stick slow down and Ban come off strike
Yo mama's so stank that her shit is glad to escape.
Yo mama's so stank, you're like Shaquille O'Neal, You don't fake the funk!!
Yo mama's so stanky she gets sourdough yeast infections
Yo mama's drawers are so funky the roaches check in but they don't check out
Yo mama's got a 4 dollar weave and don't know when to leave.
Yo mama's got 1 leg longer than other and they call her call her hip hop
Yo mama's got 1 toe & 1 knee and they call her Tony
Yo mama's got a bald head with a part and sideburns.
Yo mama's got a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
Yo mama's got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
Yo mama's got a wooden leg with branches.
Yo mama's got an afro, with a chin strap!!!!
Yo mama's got hair on her tongue and she gargles with curl activator.
Yo mama's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
Yo mama's got more crust than bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Yo mama's got more weave than a mama in traffic.
Yo mama's got no fingers talking bout wanted to be with the Pointer sisters
Yo mama's got no legs and always talking about how she used to kick it
Yo mama's got one ear, talking bout she wants to hear both sides of the story
Yo mama's got one eye, one leg, one arm and one knee and they call her UNO
Yo mama's got snakeskin teeth.
Yo mama's got so many gaps in her teeth it looks like piano keys.
Yo mama's got so many rings around belly she's gotta screw her underwear on.
Yo mama's got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
Yo mama's got so much hair under her arms, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Yo mama's got three fingers and a banjo.
Yo mama's got three teeth...one in her mouth and two in her pocket.
Yo mama's got two wooden legs and one is one backward.
Yo mama has one arm and swims in circles
Yo mama has 10 fingers - all on the same hand.
Yo mama has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
Yo mama has a 'fro with warning lights.
Yo mama has a short leg and walks in circles.
Yo mama has a wooden afro with an "X" carved in the back.
Yo mama has green hair and thinks she's a tree.
Yo mama has one ear and a burnt potato chip
Yo mama has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what You're saying.
Yo mama has one hand and a Clapper.
Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle.
Yo mama has one short arm and can't applaude.
Yo mama has one short leg and walks in circles.
Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.
Yo mama's so black every time she gets in a car the oil light comes on
Yo mama's so black if she sat in a jacuzy the water would turn into coffee
Yo mama's so black she bleeds smoke
Yo mama's so black she drinks water and pees coffee.
Yo mama's so black she went to night school and was marked absent.
Yo mama's so black that lightening bugs follow her in the daytime
Yo mama's so black when she puts lotion on her legs it looks like she has on leather pants
Yo mama's so black when the police shot at her the bullets came back for flashlights
Yo mama's so black when you go swimming it looks like an oil spill.
Yo mama's so black, if they put you in a bottle You'd be a Pepsi
Yo mama's so black, when she eats a tootsie roll, she's gotta wear white gloves to keep from chewing her fingers off.
Yo mama's so black if she had a red light she'd be a beeper.
Yo family's so black when they hold hands look like a stretch limo
Yo mama's so short she has to cuff her underwear.
Yo mama's so short she can play handball on the curb.
Yo mama's so short she poses for trophies
Yo mama's so short You could see her feet on  her driver's licencse
Yo mama's so skinny her nipples touch.
Yo mama's so skinny I gave ger a piece of popcorn and she went into a coma
Yo mama's so skinny if she had dreads I's grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor
Yo mama's so skinny she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant
Yo mama's so skinny, she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad.
Yo mama's so small, the side of the Greyhound bus has a puppy
Yo mama's so tall she did a push-up and burned her back on the sun
Yo mama's so tall when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama's so tall, if she did a back-flip she'd kick Jesus in the mouth.
Yo mama's so tall, she did a back-flip and kicked Jesus in the mouth.
Yo mama's so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
Yo mama's so old I told her to act her age and the bitch dropped dead.
Yo mama's so old Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Yo mama's so old she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
Yo mama's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama's so old she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block
Yo mama's so old she owes Jesus a nickel.
Yo mama's so old she owes Moses a quarter.
Yo mama's so old she's got Jesus' beeper number.
Yo mama's so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama's so old when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch
Yo mama's so old when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing
Yo mama's so old when she reads the bible she reminisces
Yo mama's so old, her birthday's expired.
Yo mama's so old, she co-wrote one of the ten commandments.
Yo mama's so old, she farts out dust.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama's so old, she used to babysit Jesus.
Yo mama's so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo mama's so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama's so poor your tv got 2 channels: on and off
Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Yo mama's so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
Yo mama's so poor, she married young just to get the rice!
Yo mama's so poor, the only time she smelled hot food was when a rich man farted!
Yo mama's so poor, when Yo family watches TV, they go to Sears.
Yo mama's so poor, Yo family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
Yo mama's booty is so big if You tell her to haul ass she gotta make 2 trips
Yo mama's breath is so stank we don't know whether you need gum or toilet paper
Yo mama's breath is so stank when she exhales her teeth have to duck
Yo mama's breath is so stank needs odor eaters
Yo mama's butt is so bony she put her drawers on and cut them in two
Yo mama's butt is so big it looks like 2 pigs fighting over milk duds
Yo mama's feet are so ashy, it looks like she kicks flour for a  living.
Yo mama's feet so big her sneakers need license plates
Yo mama's forehead's so big you could show slides on it.
Yo mama's gums so black she spits Chocolate Milk
Yo mama's gums so black that she spits Yoo hoo
Yo mama's hair is so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.
Yo mama's hair's nappier than a goats ass.
Yo mama's head is so big she has to wash her hair at niagra falls
Yo mama's head is so big, it shows up on radar.
Yo mama's head is so big, she dont have dreams, she have movies
Yo mama's head is so little could wear fruit loops as head rags
Yo mama's head is so nappy when she combs her hair her teeth bleed
Yo mama's head is so small that she got her ear pierced and died.
Yo mama's hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.
Yo mama's legs are so hairy if she had fur coat & a banana they'd stick her back in the zoo.
Yo mama's lips are so big that Chapstick had to invent a pray.
Yo mama's lips are so big when you smile you wet your hair
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow I cant believe it's not butter
Yo mama's teeth so rotten when she smiles they look like dice
Yo mama's teeth so yellow she spits butter
Yo mama's teeth so yellow when she yawns traffic slows down
Yo mama's been on welfare so long they put her face on the food stamps.
Yo mama's blind and seeing another man.
Yo mama's car's so ugly, someone broke in just to steal The CLUB.
Yo mama's cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.
Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
Yo mama's glasses are so thick when she looks at a map she can see people waving
Yo mama's house is so dusty the roaches ride around on dune buggys
Yo mama's house is so small she can't even order a large pizza
Yo mama's I was walking down the street with Yo mama and they started shooting, they said hit the dirt and everYone jumped on Yo mama's back
Yo mama's in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more."
Yo mama's middle name is Rambo.
Yo mama's missing a finger and can't count past 9.
Yo mama's so backwards she sits on the TV and watches the couch.
Yo mama's so bald her hair looks like stitches.
Yo mama's so bald she curls her hair with rice.
Yo mama's so ballheaded when she showers she gets brainwashed
Yo mama's so cheap, instead of buying a fire alarm, she hangs Jiffy Pop from the ceiling.  
Yo mama's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.
Yo mama's so grouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.
Yo mama's so easy that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
Yo mama's so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.
Yo mama's such a whore that I could've been Yo daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
Yo mama's twice the man You are.
Yo mama aint got no fingers, talking about she's pressing charges
Yo mama drives a peanut.
Yo mama said she liked seafood, so I gave her crabs.
Yo mama sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama's twice the man You are.
Yo mama was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.
Yo mama was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags.  I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo mama watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo mama waves around a popsickle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo mama wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
Yo maxi pad is so thick You could bend over and deflect bullets.
I just saw Yo mama walking down the hall with a matress straped to her back asking for volunteers!
I saved Yo mama's life today...I killed a shit-eating mama on the way over.
I saw Yo mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle.
I saw Yo mama kicking a can down the street. I askes what she was doing, and she said "Moving."
If my mama had a face as ugly as Yo mama's, I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards.
The difference between Yo mama and 747: not everYone's been on a 747.
The guys like to shop at Yo mama's favorite store, the gap.

[Jome]

 

[Bigg AG]

i would be proud u jus described Quakes mom lmao... im out!!!

[OutSider]

i would be proud u jus described Quakes mom lmao... im out!!!

LMAO!!

[Quakaveli]

i would be proud u jus described Quakes mom lmao... im out!!!

half of this damn bored is white so i dont care im like tha only mexican here! but wut i have done bad for u too ban me?pussiez im jus a kid trying to have fun on tha internet and pissing ppl off 0o0o ya

[Bigg AG]

i would be proud u jus described Quakes mom lmao... im out!!!

half of this damn bored is white so i dont care im like tha only mexican here! but wut i have done bad for u too ban me?pussiez im jus a kid trying to have fun on tha internet and pissing ppl off 0o0o ya

ok....?