Lifestyle > Sports & Entertainment

Biography of Homer Simpson

(1/3) > >>

JTSimon:
Biography of Homer Simpson
 
Full Name: Homer Jay Simpson
Height: 6 feet
Weight: Depends on the episode. Homer has weighed between 239 pounds and 300 pounds.
Age/Birthdate: Again depends on the episode. Could be 17-23-56, 05-12-56 or 05-10-55.
Social Security Number: 568-47-0008
Blood Type: B positive
Earmuff Size: XL
Homer has had many life-long dreams. Some of them include Monorail conductor, run out on a baseball field during a game, manage a beautiful country singer, eat the world's biggest hoagie, be a blackjack dealer, appear on "The Gong Show", to own the Dallas Cowboys, to live in the woods and bowling a perfect game.

He has also won several awards, including the 1st Annual Montgomery Burns Award For Outstanding Acheivement In The Field Of Excellence, Grammy for "outstanding soul, spoken word, or barbershop album of the year with the B-Sharps and a medal for "making what could have been a Chernobyl into Three Mile Island."

Homer is also full of nuggets of wisdom. Following are some of my favorite words of advice he has given.

- "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
- "If something's hard to do then it's not worth doing."
- "Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
 
He also waxes philosphical about beer.
- "Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."
- "To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
- "Homer no function beer well without."

Finally, here are a few of my favorite Homer Simpson prayers.
- "Lord help me, I'm just not that bright."
- "Dear God, give a bald guy a break."
- "As God as my witness, I'll always be hungry again!"
 
Homer Simpson continues to be a favorite character for many fans. After reading about his life and philosphies, it's easy to see why.

----
Homer Simpson Info
Name: Homer J. Simpson
Voice: Dan Castellaneta
Birth of date: May 12, 1956
Weight: 230-260
Mmm..: Almost anything editable
Favorite Drink: Duff Beer
Favorite Song: "It's Raining Men"
Favorite Movie(s): Look Who's Oinking, Octopussy, Honk Your Horny
Proudest Accomplishment: Lisa Simpson
Worst fear: Sock Puppets

Mmm List
marshmallows
chocolate
Macamadamia nuts
horse doovers
spaghetti
purple
beer
waffle run-off
salty
the land of chocolate
crumbled-up cookie things
chicken
potato chips
strained peas
snouts
fattening
Burgher
soylent green
shrimp
grapefruit
organized crime
forbidden donut
sixty four pieces of American cheese
invisible cola
candy
concenindent
business deal
free goo
apple
hambugers
foot-long chili dog
unproccesed fish
Marge
mediciney
sacrilicious
elephant fresh
carmel
bowling fresh
urnial fresh
slanty
incapacitating
beer nuts
something
sandwich
re-ciculated air
memo

 



 

UDollar A.K.A Nino:
^^
Where did you find this at????

Noon Bank$:
Hes a fuckin stalker.
....a Homer Simposon stalker. Pathetic! j/p

UDollar A.K.A Nino:
^^
Could be, but i still found this funny, lol....

Black_Smoke:
lol

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page