Best hip hop punchlines

[cruzen records]

What do u think are some of the greatest punchlines in hiphop
"If you want to have the rainbow, Then sometimes you're gonna have to deal with the rain." Havoc mob deep

"its like having sex with a bimbo, fucking stupid." Funkoars sesta

"pull your dick out of the toilet, cos your fucking shit" 360

"call me tip top cos I'm good on ya mum" - Hau – Phenomenomenon

"oi suffa u cant sing.. yeh i cant even hum a tune but ill make this crowd bounce like bedsprings on a honeymoon" – Hilltop hoods

"Life's a bitch until you're fucking one, but it don't get much better when you're fucking with a rubber one" – funkoars

if lifes a bitch then deaths a slut cos death comes 4 everyone, and when its ur turn ya fucked – hilltops

you should call me albert cos im ahead of einstein – barbs

"i'm so ahead of my time my parents havn't even met yet" - Big L

"i sit on me arse all day and still got a hard earned thirst"- ken oath

i survived abortion – cage

The closest you ever got to a punchline
was your prom in 89

"...'Cause LC's the dopest, getting crowds out their seats like deep vein thrombosis..." – LC


more but to tyred to think

[Suffice]

"Lactose intolerant but I still milk your bitch" - SnoopGogg



"I'll put ass out, like you’s a cigarette and I’m the ashtray" - SnoopGogg


"I’m a rape victim, I got raped when I was born"  - SnoopGogg


"Nowadays the only cat who can really spit is Sylvester" - SnoopGogg


"My Rhymes got more elasticity than Biggie's stretchmarks" - Chino XL

"Stick a dick in your eardrum, and fuck what you heard"  - Ras Kass

"If u can find a better flow, i can find a dinosaur on Galapagos Archipelago" - Canibus

[Hatesrats™]

[Ja Rule]
"Yeah, Yeah
May the law be with niggaz who shout my name in vain
I'm a Murderer motherfucker, you loose change"

"DMX was my dog, but now we just dog fight
Sucking on glass dicks, calling them crack pipes"

"Who the fuck you callin' gay nigga, must a been talk to
Em' and "Dre", nigga, pour out a little liqour
And rest in peace to "Tupac Shakur", cause you let us know
that Dre was a queer before
And "Marshall" how dare you use his name in vain
Son of a panther, you'll never understand his pain
But you do understand trailer parks and cocaine
Disrespcting your mother what fuckin part of
the game is that man , I guess this world need change
so we got it, and now I gotta put 'em in the grave
Red, guide 'em before they put us in the cage
Rule' and Gotti america's most wanted to many..
Come and get me!!! (Pretty soon ya gonna pay)"

"They say I rap to rhythm and blues
But when I turn on the radio, I hear y'all niggaz rappin' it too
He's like "Baby can you give it to me"
Nah, I'ma give it to you
The same way that we gave it to Proof
The same way that we gave it to Loose"

[Diabolical]

[Ja Rule]
"They say I rap to rhythm and blues
But when I turn on the radio, I hear y'all niggaz rappin' it too
He's like "Baby can you give it to me"
Nah, I'ma give it to you
The same way that we gave it to Proof
The same way that we gave it to Loose"

Busta Diss Stupid Bitch(Ja)

[PLANT]

Ludacris

"My filthy mouth it wont fight cavities, or beat plaq/
So I shot the tooth fairy, and took my old teeth back"

"Its the Chicken & the Beer that makes Luda keep rappin/
but no pork on my fork I dont even speak pig latin"

"I own so many jerseys Im a throw-back mess/
I hit the cleaners and tell em I want a full-court press"

"So stand clear of the long side-burns and goatee/
They made the mold of the penis enlarger off me"


Ludacris is sick on the mic....He might be the king of punchlines right now IMO...Check out "HipHop Quotables" from Chicken n Beer and youll know whassup.

[ecrazy]

"You Need Braces On Your Ass So You can get your shit Straight" - Mic The mos Confident

"Im Like A Prostitute Im Always Fuckin Outstanding" - Mic The Mos

[West C. Connected]

Hmmm....... Punchlines..... I wonder...
JIN???  

you wanna say i'm chinese son? here's a reminda
check your tims they probably say "made in china"

don't make me get on this tip and straight kill ya
his name is sterling cause all he rocks is silver

dude, you, stop followin trends
your girl must love alcohol cause she be swallowin' jin

this is 106 and park, i'm a hard act to follow
you a amateur, you go to the apollo


yo, if the rap game is whack, everybody's blamin you
you from brookyln? then biggie mush be ashamed of you

matter fact, you from bk, i heard they murder things
only time he seen beef is when he go to burger king

you wanna talk about guns, that's why you get your stutter on
only toast he packs is the kind you put butter on

ask your girl, i was doin somethin at her house
matter fact, she had my eggroll and my dumplings in her mouth


yo, i get girls, who you tryin to dis man?
he masturbate so much he had to roc a wristband

you got guns pointed my way
he's so played out, i thought he was the old school joint of the day

i got fans across the country, jin is who they feelin'
last time he had a fan, it was spinnin on the ceilin'

you aint a regae arist and i aint hatin on you
stop lyin, mrs. cleo is more jamaican than you

and don't make me start rappin in chinese on the microphone
"nei fan oak kay lah" that means take your sorry butt home!

lol Those were the freestyles from Freestyle Friday where he murdered those peeps.  

[Suffice]

Ja rule really killed 50 in "loose change" and on his new album.. hopefully people will realize this and stop hatin on ja just cause 50 said so. FUck 50

[SGV]

I'm trying not to get fucked like 2Pac in jail

Your career is George Burns I can't believe you ain't dead yet

I show more blind rage Than Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles wrestling in a steel cage

Talent like mine is rarely seen like handicaps havin intercourse

You blew up like Roseanne's belly/Your style's too old to do me like Aaliyah and R. Kelly

But I spread new rap styles like prostitutes spread chlamydia

My styles like A.I.D.S., half of ya'll got it, but none of ya'll are sayin' shit

You ain't just wack/You what wack wants to be when it grows up

8 out of every 10 chicks are attracted to me/One is a relative, and the other one a damn liar!

It's still all relative like West Virginans before they marry.

King Tech's astonishing, like Craig Mack without his Acne Cream

I don't give a fuck if Jesus write your verses and Satan and God produced it

You made a 3 minute song, thats 3 minutes too long

All Chino XL

[kottonmouthninja]

Big L gots a shit load i just cant think of any! but just listen to "Put it On" thats full of them

[SGV]

You can't spit nigga so you obviously must sallow

And beats more fat than Doc Dre, from MTV

Masta Ace

[Dr. MaNiAk]

"This little nigga Ja-Rule, Talking bout he's gonna slap me.  Nigga please
You gotta jump and swing up to hit me in the knees"

"To tell you to suck my dick while I'm pissin
I don't even listen to your shit to know who the fuck I'm dissin"

(Dre, taken from Shit Hits Tha Fan)


"I'm quick to Murder-Inc with lead, and I ain't talkin' bout a pencil"

"You Got shot in yo video, tryin' to mock pac, you mockavely, get your own idea"
(Obie Trice Ft. Eminem and d12 - Doe Ray Me)


"When it comes to beef, you don't do nothin' but cook"
(Jadakiss, taken from Rite Where You Stand)


"With the mic I'm like a dyke, can't no nigga fuck with this"

"My rhymes they keep coming like nympho maniacs that masturbate"

"You want your shit to blow up?
Well I'ma stuff some dynamite in your ass crack "

"Your ass forgot, so just in case you don't remember me
I'll run your brain around the block to jog your fucking memory"

"You could date a stick of dynamite and wouldn't go out with a bang"

"I showered the slang, simple as A,B,C's
Skip over the D's and rock the microphone with E's" - damn that's a genius one... (E's = Ease...)

"I rock a beat harder then you could beat it with rocks"

"You couldn't make the fans throw up their hands if they swallowed their
fingers"

"You can fuck Jill on a hill, but you still ain't Jack"
(Eminem Ft. Eye Kyu - 313          DAAAAAMN THAT SONG IS PURE GENIOUS)

"You couldn't flip shit playing in toilets with a spatula"
(Eminem - Open Mic)

And there's so much more...

[Bramsterdam (see ya)]

"With the mic I'm like a dyke, can't no nigga fuck with this"

lmao wheres this from

[Diabolical]

Fucc Ja Rule

[AlerG]

"you could come with five nines and still couldn't rock my city"
"i spit more fire than an 80 year olds cake on his birthday"
"i stuck to your skin, never to move like a birthmark"
"putting your dick in the air when you bust is the only way you'll come up"

those are some of the favorites that i've wrote in some of my rhymes before, peace.