Lifestyle > Train of Thought
Life Story, Long or Short
Woodrow:
--- Quote ---^^ You left out the part where you were persecuted by the Western Christian movement, thereby making u.s. civilian deaths alright in your mind.
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Ive never used this term before, but here would be a good place to start:
LOL
Political Gangsta:
--- Quote ---as a kid- dope as fuck growin up in queens. as a lil kid i saw a lot. i lived right across tha street from a school yard so everyday i was play b-ball or hand ball. it was coo cuz thats where all tha older kids were chillin so i was always playin ball wit them. i was like tha lil shorty ther all knew.
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It was not by coincedence or by accident that you were placed into your unique position on this Earth. Your childhood was in preperation of fullfillment of a plan far greater then yourself. You were blessed with the oppurtunity to biuld with the older cats in your hood, and understand a side of life that those you would encounter later in your life, could only imagine.
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i saw a lot of shit find crack pipes an shit. seein tha cops chase down some guy an tackle him. at age 8 i was doin grafitti wit my friend irving an this kid he knew. we didnt kno what we were doin so we were jus spray painting fuck u an pic of bart simpson, lol. jus a lot of fun. than in 5th grade i moved to hicksville, i still went to queens all tha time tho cuz my dad was still workin so he would drop me off at my friend jerrys's house i would chill over there. a lot of fun an i cant front tha 1st year in hicksville was fun even tho i did get dissed for wantin to be black i still made some friends
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It may be that Allah at first granted you respite in your new home at Hicksville, a brief interval of fun and excitement, before the suffering you would later endure. And while under this protection from Allah you came to an understanding that life was to be enjoyed and that you had a place in this life. Although the attitudes of others would later frustrate you into questioning your previous understandings and aspirations in this world.
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JR HIGH- shit started changing, tha friends i made in my 1st year in hicksville werent in any of my classes. an by tha time i would see them durin tha day they would be chillin wit some1 else. i was gettin made fun for wantin to be black an a lot of other shit i dont wanna get into. i couldnt say shit back cause no1 had my back. thats when i learned them peeps out here cant fight for themselves so they get all there friends backs. than in 7th grade i became friends wit some i was mad coo wit back in 5th. we were chillin all tha time. than my dad became paralyzed that year. in one instance u do a lot of growin up an maturing a 7th grader shouldnt be going through. but i survived tho. I still had peeps i talked to but not tha type of people u hang out wit. 8th grade was alright. but personal life sucked. i was gettin food stamps, my parents marrage ended, an when ur like 13 years old an see all tha shit kids got u dont got it makes u feel like god hates u. i started becomin bery shy an 2 myself.
Thing wit jr high is where i stopped bein myself stopped listenin to rap an became ashamed of who i was. an there was one thing peeps said that has completely fucked me over to do this confidence an self-esteem wise an i dont plan on tellin any1, that shit has completely fucked up my life 2 this day
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It appears that in highschool, the brief and narrow vision of your Hicksville peers was incapable of understanding another student who grew up a little different from them. In an effort to ascribe to their alien standards of behavior, you tried to take on their pretentious, self-effacing way of life, but found that path to repulsive and disgusting to continue. You were therefore left with no choice but to go without the friendship and even the respect of your peers. Sometimes we are placed in no-win situations. In these situations, we must not see these fragments of lives truths and equate them as the total sum of our existence. The scope of Allah's plan is much larger then this, and be patient, because later his plan will be fully developed and actualized. Be humble in your struggles, for Allah is preparing you for the fullfillment of his ultimate plan. And there is justice in His will and plan.
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HIGH SCHOOL- 9th grade was alright wasnt that bad. 10th grade sucked, try having no1 to talk to in any of ur classes. u basically sit there starin at tha board, group work comes a long u dont work wit any1, only class that was coo was wood working an lunch. but 10th grade is where i became really shy an jus tha whole fuck tha world attitude got hates me so why should i try, also since 10th grade i wanted to drop out an if i could do it again i would of dropped out an got my G.E.D. 11th grade started out tha same. 11th grade was weird, had some real bad times an some real good times. tha best times were proberly at tha end of 11th when i became made coo wit kane. i knew him since 10th when he first moved up here. 12th is when i became really depressed tho. by this time i realized god does not hate me an i need to change but this whole feelin of depression was all i knew since 8th grade,
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Here you describe your true nature, your inclination to the God that created you. The religious urges that exist in man should not be recognized as a mere passing phase of one's intellectual, moral, and physical development. But rather, it should be assimilated into his character, and made the ultimate source of all his thoughts, actions, and concepts of morality.
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i didnt kno how to make a change i was 2 affraid to make a change. i saw every1 else havin fun enjoyin there last year in highschool. there i was gettin angry an depressed. i did nothing at all except get angry. no1 said anything to me cuz i never talked an always looked angry an if any1 said anything to piss me off i would snap on them. school ended i was happy 4 a week an than i got extremely depressed an wanted 2 die. i let 4 of tha my best years fly by an i can never have them back. i was now at my lowest. my best friend kane was on vacation, he finally came back so i was happy i finally had some1 2 chill wit jus 2 find out my only friend is movin back to north carolina. theres no1 2 blame its like some1 was kickin me while i was already down.
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Brother El Hajj Malik El Shabazz (Malcolm X) once said, "I think it is far greater a crime to teach one to hate himself, than it is to teach him to hate someone else." You became angry, and you had been taught to turn the other cheek against those that transgressed against you, in doing so, the blade of that anger was turned inward, this self-hatred often takes the form of a death wish, with many elusive manifestations. The death wish, is really a wish to control ones own destiny, a deeply emotional desire to dictate your own existence, and no longer be living to act out a play in which your part was not written in the script. To no longer be at the mercy of the wims of another.
Although Islam gives an allowance that the victim may transgress likewise against the transgressor, in many ways you were up against a faceless, and amorphous oppressor. Therefore, the only solution was to have patience and faith that Allah's plan would be fullfilled and that those pretentious, self-effacing, narrowminded upper class snobs in hicksville, and the various social agents of American society that put you in a no win situation, will not go unpunished. Patience is learned from fasting, prayer, faith in the God that created you.
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NOW: now i dont know, im depressed an dont really care anymore. jus awaiting my mediocre future. I have no urge 2 go to college cuz i kno im never goin change. i got no firends, i got a piece of shit car i take to tha station to get fixed once a week cuz theres alway suptin wrong wit it. as a matter of fact its at tha station right now cuz it keeps overheating. i see no hope in my life what so ever. i kno im never goin change. theres a briefe outline
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Understand that the struggles you've encountered at a young age were not imagined, and that you were not created in vain. There is a great purpose in his grand design for you. Understand that you are not mediocre because you are great because the God that created you rules high above, and has a like unto none. It may be that you will find hope one day in your hopelessness, and you have already succeeded and you are already great for surviving through your life struggle and still staying true to yourself.
May the peace of Allah be unto you. 1 (God)
Jay ay Beee:
Tom, beware, because you will soon recieve a package from Political Gangsta containing a plane ticket to the Middle East to help bolster the revolution!
budsmokeronly:
--- Quote ---NOW: now i dont know, im depressed an dont really care anymore. jus awaiting my mediocre future. I have no urge 2 go to college cuz i kno im never goin change. i got no firends, i got a piece of shit car i take to tha station to get fixed once a week cuz theres alway suptin wrong wit it. as a matter of fact its at tha station right now cuz it keeps overheating. i see no hope in my life what so ever. i kno im never goin change. theres a briefe outline
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Tom cheer up man. Why stay all depressed and feel sorry for yourself and dwell on the past. Ain't a damn thing you can do about the past. Just forget it and move on. Concentrate on the now. Of course your never going to change if you keep the attitude you have. Do what the fuck you want to do in life. Do whatever the hell makes you happy. Don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of you. You constantly complain about your town- so fuckin move man. Why would you stay in a place that you truely hate. You say you don't have any friends, well go to college man, it is a great place to meet many people. You got to change yourself dude, ain't no one gonna do it for you. Your life is all up to yourself.
Jay ay Beee:
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You got to change yourself dude, ain't no one gonna do it for you. Your life is all up to yourself.
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One of the most intelligent things ever said on this board
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