It's May 21, 2024, 06:17:11 AM
CROP DUSTINGWhen farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from.Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants. FLY BYThis is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again.Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom. COURTESY FLUSHThe act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. SAFE HAVENSFind a seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom. UNCLE TEDThis is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.He/she could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
ESCAPEEThis is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. JAILBREAKWhen forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. COURTESY FLUSHThe act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. SAFE HAVENSFind a seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom. TURD BURGLARThis is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves.This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. ASTAIREThis is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall isoccupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace. HAVANAOMELETThis is a case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. It is often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.You can also use that moment to noisily procure a handful of toilet paper. UNCLE TEDThis is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.He/she could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
see shitting isnt a problem for me...its pissing...i can't piss with people around.
Quote from: Luke on March 18, 2004, 01:28:10 PMsee shitting isnt a problem for me...its pissing...i can't piss with people around.bladder shy sucks for you, take a stall.
Quote from: Luke on March 18, 2004, 01:28:10 PMsee shitting isnt a problem for me...its pissing...i can't piss with people around.Its called "Little Weiner Sydrom"....
Its called "Little Weiner Sydrom"....