My first verse

[Sindrom]

Drop some feed back.

Yo, call me the death strike wizard,
My flow so cold like ya trapped in a blizzard,
Deep in the earth I dwell, when I strike you can’t tell,
How I did it im like a ghost,
slit ya throat, kamakazi ninja better then most.
My thoughts are unfathomable, far away like the sun,
Your raps are unpalatable to the eardrum,
I drop so much knowledge when I battle Einstein sound dumb,
The future be told through my third eye,
Ancient prophecy, try to fuck with me you die,
Bad karma reincarnated, Return as a fruit fly,
Try to brainwash me with consumerism,
do an exorcism on the game to annihilate the commercialism,
When I rap it’s insane,
So far ahead evolved I use 90% of the brain,
I got crazy fans, my followings like a cult,
I spit so much raw truth, the people bout to revolt,

[Jimmy Cash2120]

it was alright, lyrics and flow need improving but i can tell your not new to rhymin, just keep it up

[Kill]

i think you got potential, try not to get lost in loosely connected standard phrases though, try to include something that holds the whole thing together if ya know'mean

[TraceOneInfinite]

Drop some feed back.

Yo, call me the death strike wizard,
My flow so cold like ya trapped in a blizzard,
Deep in the earth I dwell, when I strike you can’t tell,
How I did it im like a ghost,
slit ya throat, kamakazi ninja better then most.
My thoughts are unfathomable, far away like the sun,
Your raps are unpalatable to the eardrum,
I drop so much knowledge when I battle Einstein sound dumb,
The future be told through my third eye,
Ancient prophecy, try to fuck with me you die,
Bad karma reincarnated, Return as a fruit fly,
Try to brainwash me with consumerism,
do an exorcism on the game to annihilate the commercialism,
When I rap it’s insane,
So far ahead evolved I use 90% of the brain,
I got crazy fans, my followings like a cult,
I spit so much raw truth, the people bout to revolt,

Reminded me of some Jeru the Damaja type of ish... like back in the good old days of 1996-97... back before hip-hop died.  And yo, I'm all for an exorcism on the game to annihilate the commercialism, Hip-hop must be kept pure, too much fakeness makes me wonder if hip-hop is an art form or business?  Is it music, or is it entertainment?  For real.  Word is bond.  Word is life. Word Life.  Word Bond.

[Sindrom]

Yo thanks for the replys.

[C-Swift]

I can tell it was from the heart, keep it up, how long you been writing?

[Sindrom]

I wrote this about a month ago but it was the first rap i wrote.