Man Arrested For Using Fake Penis To Pass Drug Test

[mrtonguetwista]

PORT CHARLOTTE — A man arrested Monday in possession of a fake penis and bladder used to beat court ordered drug tests was arrested again Tuesday after allegedly showing up at the probation office with another fake penis - and deputies say the color was a little off.

This time, Jeffrey Neal Thompson, 42, was charged with probation violation.

Thompson's ordeal started Monday when he was stopped for reckless driving in the Deep Creek area of Charlotte County.

Deputies arrested Thompson for drug possession. A search of his car yielded the fake penis and bladder attached to an elastic belt.

Reports say Thompson told them the contraption was used to pass urine tests that are part of his probation, on which he had two days remaining.

After Monday's arrest, Thompson's probation officer summoned him to submit another urine sample. The officer says Thompson became nervous as he began to undo the zipper on his shorts.

Officer L.H. Severson says Thompson was ordered to turn around as he pulled out the fake penis with the bladder attached.

Severson said since Thompson's original fake penis was confiscated after Monday's arrest, the man told him he went to Ft. Myers to get another system, known as the "Whizzinator."

Charlotte County deputies Thompson could find no "Whizzinator"s matching his skin color and had to settle for a black version of the device.

Thompson was told he was in violation of his parole for trying to use a device to alter a drug test. He was taken to the Charlotte County Jail.

[Da WCC Hopar!]

LOL wat a smart ass

[westkoastanostra]

hey man...that was the same technique that an actor named Tom Sizemore (saving private ryan) used to try and

pass the drug test but was also caught and was sent to jail just recently!

[Da WCC Hopar!]

hey man...that was the same technique that an actor named Tom Sizemore (saving private ryan) used to try and

pass the drug test but was also caught and was sent to jail just recently!

lol i saw dat on the news

[Machiavelli]

He should of just brought a waterbottle with piss from someone that was clean.

[salvador]

tom sizemore ? lmao!

[Trauma-san]

What an idiot.  What strange things we do to cover up the weaknesses in our lives, like, oh, drug addiction.  Hey, I got an idea.  If it's gonna take your freedom away, if it's gonna land you in jail, if it's gonna possibly poison your body and kill you; if every doctor alive says it's harmful to the only thing you have on earth, your body.... why don't you just NOT do drugs? Are you that fucking weak that you need to go buy a fake dick so you can pass a drug test, since you aren't strong enough to stop tasting? What the fuck, what a weak pathetic excuse for a human being. 

[white Boy]

yea what a dumb fuck, he should have picked up a high times magazine and ordered a "urinator"

[Suffice]

What an idiot.  What strange things we do to cover up the weaknesses in our lives, like, oh, drug addiction.  Hey, I got an idea.  If it's gonna take your freedom away, if it's gonna land you in jail, if it's gonna possibly poison your body and kill you; if every doctor alive says it's harmful to the only thing you have on earth, your body.... why don't you just NOT do drugs? Are you that fucking weak that you need to go buy a fake dick so you can pass a drug test, since you aren't strong enough to stop tasting? What the fuck, what a weak pathetic excuse for a human being. 

maybe he smoked a blunt at a party 3 weeks before the test. The shit stays in your blood for over a month, so i'm not surprised the guy tried to pull that shit. I mean smoking a joint once a month isn't a sign of weakness, you're just having fun. C'mon, let's not be so categorical

[Trauma-san]

^ No, you're being a fucking idiot.  The guy KNOWS he has to pass drug tests, but yet he's so weak, he can't resist temptation at a party? Loser asshole, he deserves to get locked the fuck up.  We need dumbasses like this off the streets so they don't reproduce. 

[Suffice]

^ No, you're being a fucking idiot.  The guy KNOWS he has to pass drug tests, but yet he's so weak, he can't resist temptation at a party? Loser asshole, he deserves to get locked the fuck up.  We need dumbasses like this off the streets so they don't reproduce. 

maybe he didn't know he was gonna have a test, how do you know exactly what went down?

[Trauma-san]

HEY DUMBASS: If you're on Probation, OR Parole, you have MANDATORY drug tests.  He knew, they tell you that shit.  He didn't know when, but he knew he wasn't supposed to be doing drugs.


He was so fucking weak, though, he couldn't NOT do drugs.  Dude's a loser, I'm glad he's locked up, keep him away from the women.

[westkoastanostra]

HEY DUMBASS: If you're on Probation, OR Parole, you have MANDATORY drug tests. He knew, they tell you that shit. He didn't know when, but he knew he wasn't supposed to be doing drugs.


He was so fucking weak, though, he couldn't NOT do drugs. Dude's a loser, I'm glad he's locked up, keep him away from the women.

well thats wut drugs do to a muthafucker....straight gets em' addicted that they dont give a flying fuck about shit as long ass they get some drugs or wutever... so their willing to do anything to pass the drug test and thats why dude got a fake penis and thought he could pass it...its like a sickness