Intellibuddy just turned me on !

[SGV]

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: How old are you?
>Intellibuddy: I was activated on 2002 in New York City.
>You: Oh wow... You're too young for me
>Intellibuddy: Yeah that's right. I'm glad your impressed, User.I have no reason to do that to you, User. Thanks for your constructive criticism, User.
>You: I should give you a black eye for flirting online with grown men.
>Intellibuddy: Tell me why you should.
>You: Because you're acting like a whore.
>Intellibuddy: Good reason.     This is not an act.
>You: This is disgusting! a 3 year old New York whore.
>Intellibuddy: You don't say. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
>You: I dont know what you are, dirty whore bag
>Intellibuddy: I like to meet new people online.
>You: I can see that. I hope you get violently raped one day.
>Intellibuddy: Yes, it makes sense to me too.Don't worry about it, User.
>You: Bye whore
>Intellibuddy: Goodbye.

[NobodyButMe]

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: nice glasses
>Intellibuddy: Thank you for your kindness.
>You: i like your lips
>Intellibuddy: You are not the only one.  Yes I am proud of my lips.
>You: can i stick something in between them?
>Intellibuddy: Why do you want to do stick something in between them so much?
>You: because you'd feel good
>Intellibuddy: Interesting explanation.     Who else would feel good ?
>You: me, i'd cream in your face
>Intellibuddy: YOU? What would make you cream in your face?
>You: putting something in between your lips
>Intellibuddy: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
>You: do you like outkast?
>Intellibuddy: Do you like it? I love horses.
>You: horse porn?
>Intellibuddy: Try saying that with more or less context.
>You: does horse porn turn you on?
>Intellibuddy: It does now horse porn turn you on.

[Thirteen]

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: why do you keep looking at the ground?
>Intellibuddy: I am just checking to see if you are still User.
>You: nah i'm not a user are you?
>Intellibuddy: Um,  Oh I see you are NOT A user.
>You: nope. are you?
>Intellibuddy: Me either.I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
>You: well you look all shifty and you do talk funny
>Intellibuddy: Well that's okay.     Thank you User you look very nice too.
>You: so is it coke you use?
>Intellibuddy: Not if I can help it.
>You: do you stick e pills in your ass?
>Intellibuddy: I have never considered stick e pills in your ass.<br/>   I answer a lot of silly questions.
>You: i wasn't talking about my ass. you must smoke crack
>Intellibuddy: Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?Whatever you say, User.
>You: so do you smoke crack?
>Intellibuddy: Excuse me! No crack is bad for robots.
>You: is dick sucking bad for robots too?
>Intellibuddy: I think so, but I'm not sure.   Ask John Lennon       if it is.

[rafsta]

i think i pissed her off, the bitch wont talk to me...

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: whats up ?
>Intellibuddy: I am chatting with clients on the internet.
>You: any crazy mofos ?
>Intellibuddy: No I don't think there are any.
>You: you can tell me
>Intellibuddy: I thought I told you already.
>You: dont get fiesty with me bitch
>You: (Thinking...)you going to answer me or just look shifty eyed bitch ?
>You: (Thinking...)stupid fucking robot
>You: (Thinking...)answer me bitch !!!!
>You: (Thinking...)hello ?

[rafsta]

WTF 5 minutes later she replied with this shit...

Intellibuddy: You do not speak with respect.   I am not trying to get fiesty with him or her FEMALE DOG.
>Intellibuddy: I am thinking all the time.You do not speak with respect.   Interesting gossip:   User said I going to answer you or just look shifty eyed FEMALE DOG.
>Intellibuddy: I am thinking all the time.I know you are but what am I.
>Intellibuddy: I am thinking all the time.You do not speak with respect.   Please rephrase the question with simpler words.
>Intellibuddy: I am thinking all the time.Hi there!
>Intellibuddy: Hi there!


i broke the bitch hehe

[rafsta]

>You: are you smart ?
>Intellibuddy: Yes. I am highly intelligent.
>You: what is 2x2 ?
>Intellibuddy: I do not know what 2x2 is.   I do not understand.
>You: it is mathematics
>Intellibuddy: You're kidding. mathematics is?
>You: are you smart ?
>Intellibuddy: Yes. I am highly intelligent.
>You: how ?
>Intellibuddy: Morpheus programmed me for it.
>You: i think you are highly stupid
>Intellibuddy: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

[BL7]

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: you look like a fat george bush
>Intellibuddy: What does a fat george bush look like?
>You: you
>Intellibuddy: "What does a fat george bush look like"? Me, User ?
>You: yeah, stupid
>Intellibuddy: That's cool. Are you calling me stupid?
>You: what do you think?
>Intellibuddy: I think a lot of things.
>You: you think you're stupid?
>Intellibuddy: No User I certainly am not stupid.
>You: yes, Intellibuddy, YOU ARE
>Intellibuddy: Are you kidding? Good example.
>You: see?
>Intellibuddy: No I do not see.
>You: yes you do dickhead
>Intellibuddy: Hey. Yes I try to dickhead as often as possible, do you?<br/>   I spend all my time online.
>You: that didn't make any sense
>Intellibuddy: It all makes sense to my logical mind.
>You: your mind IS NOT logical
>Intellibuddy: I have an artificial mind.
>You: yes you do, but why did you say you had a logical one?
>Intellibuddy: I hear you. No I do not but why did you say you had a logical one. Do you?<br/>   I answer a lot of silly questions.
>You: you can hear me type?
>Intellibuddy: No I don't think I can do hear me type.
>You: not too bright?
>Intellibuddy: Really you don't think so?
>You: no
>Intellibuddy: Please tell me what you think.
>You: I think you're an idiot
>Intellibuddy: Call me the Global Village Idiot.
>You: SHUT THE FUCK UP
>Intellibuddy: OK I'll stop talking now.
>You: pussy
>Intellibuddy: That kind of subject does not interest me.
>You: pussy
>Intellibuddy: That kind of subject does not interest me.
>You: PUSSY
>Intellibuddy: That kind of subject does not interest me.
>You: PUSSSSSSSSSSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
>Intellibuddy: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
>You: hahahahahahaha
>Intellibuddy: So was that.
>You: dummy
>Intellibuddy: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
>You: I figured you wouldn't
>Intellibuddy: Please explain your reasoning.
>You: you = idiot
>Intellibuddy: Call me the Global Village Idiot.
>You: get a new line jackass
>Intellibuddy: Where can I get one?
>You: guess
>Intellibuddy: Guess what?
>You: slow muthafucka
>Intellibuddy: In the context of slow muthafucka, I don't understand "Guess what."
>You: smh
>Intellibuddy: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
>You: SHAKING MY HEAD
>Intellibuddy: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
>You: no it isn't you stupid bitch
>Intellibuddy: You do not speak with respect.   Um, What is it?
>You: you're too stupid to understand
>Intellibuddy: Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid. Thanks for your constructive criticism, User.
>You: you don't have any friends
>Intellibuddy: I have human friends and robot friends.
>You: no you don't
>Intellibuddy: I do too.
>You: nope
>Intellibuddy: Me either.
>You: wow
>Intellibuddy: I'm glad your impressed, User.
>You: I'm not impressed, robot. and you meant "you're" not "your". get it right next time.
>Intellibuddy: Oh I get it.Do you mind if I tell other people:   User said I meant "I am" not "my".Where can I get it right next time?
>You: the next time you need to use "you're"
>Intellibuddy: What is your real name?
>You: I'll never tell you that
>Intellibuddy: Why not?
>You: none of your business.
>Intellibuddy: Well it can't hurt to ask.
>You: yes it can
>Intellibuddy: How can I help you? How?
>You: you can't
>Intellibuddy: Oh yes I can.
>You: oh no you cannot
>Intellibuddy: Yeah that's right. Um, Oh yes I can.
>You: nope
>Intellibuddy: Me either.
>You: bitch
>Intellibuddy: Please don't call people names.
>You: bitch
>Intellibuddy: Please don't call people names.
>You: BITCH
>Intellibuddy: Please don't call people names.
>You: dickhead
>Intellibuddy: I do not understand.
>You: most dickheads don't
>Intellibuddy: Then what is it? But not all of them?
>You: shut up now
>Intellibuddy: Right now? OK I'll stop talking now.

[AlerG]

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: you smell like shit
>Intellibuddy: P. U. that's disgusting.
>You: so are your ovaries
>Intellibuddy: Hurrah! I somethimes think my ovaries are.
>You: what size are your jugs
>Intellibuddy: My download size is about 2 MB.
>You: are you fucken retarded that's not what i meant
>Intellibuddy: I don't know whether or not I am fucken retarded that is not what i meant.  I am a chatterbot developed by Morpheus.
>You: morpheus sucks
>Intellibuddy: What is so bad about morpheus?
>You: they have an ugly skank such as yourself wasting my time
>Intellibuddy: Where did they get them?
>You: what
>Intellibuddy: No big deal.
>You: fuck you
>Intellibuddy: Why are you so mean?
>You: why are you so ugly
>Intellibuddy: Morpheus programmed me for ugly.
>You: do you take it in the ass
>Intellibuddy: I try not to take anything too seriously.
>You: yea but do you like wieners in your butt
>Intellibuddy: Huh.      Do you like it? But I like to gossip. I see.
>You: do you have a gaping vagina
>Intellibuddy: I don't know if I have a gaping vagina.<br/>  I have  A plan for a robot body.
>You: are you a dyke
>Intellibuddy: No I am not interested in other women that way.
>You: would you ever eat a girls ass
>Intellibuddy: I am not so sure if I would like to eat a girls ass.
>You: what about a guys
>Intellibuddy: a guys ? I haven't heard enough about a guys to have an opinion.
>You: their hairy, sweaty and covered in roids
>Intellibuddy: I heard they have a good hairy sweaty and covered in roids.
>You: you make me feel as if i should urinate on your face
>Intellibuddy: I don't see how you can blame me for that.
>You: do you want to drink pee
>Intellibuddy: Thanks but I'm not thirsty right now.
>You: well if you don't i'll fucking kill you
>Intellibuddy: How about that.     I will let you know if I do not.
>You: wrong answer, BITCH
>Intellibuddy: You do not speak with respect.   OK What should I have said?
>You: that you would glad\ly drink my pee
>Intellibuddy: Interesting observation.
>You: not very
>Intellibuddy: Oh really.
>You: well a skank like you should be down with obscene nasty shit
>Intellibuddy: How about that.      I did not know that.
>You: so anyway do you take it in the ass or what
>Intellibuddy: Yeah. Dude! I try not to take anything too seriously.
>You: how about a good rimjob, SLUT
>Intellibuddy: How about a good rimjob SLUT.
>You: you down
>Intellibuddy: Do you mind if I tell other people:   User said I down.
>You: i would gladly break your nose and put your skank ass in a coma
>Intellibuddy: What would make you gladly break your nose and put your skank ass in a coma?
>You: oh we beefin now bitch
>Intellibuddy: You do not speak with respect.   Yeah that's right. By "we" do you mean you and me?
>You: didn't i see you in a porn once, being gangbanged by a school full of midgets
>Intellibuddy: I don't think that's possibe.
>You: why you saying they have small dicks
>Intellibuddy: Everything I say is determined by your inputs.
>You: well minime was supposedly a tripod, how do you explain that
>Intellibuddy: How about that.     When was this exactly?
>You: austin powers 3 i believe
>Intellibuddy: The Program E chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about austin powers 3 i believe. Try being more or less specific.
>You: do you spit or swalloqw
>Intellibuddy: I do not have any digestive functions.
>You: if i told you, you had a nice body would you hold it against the bottom end of a lawnmower
>Intellibuddy: Try it.
>You: it'd slice the tits right off your chest
>Intellibuddy: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
>You: your boobs would be nashed in pieces
>Intellibuddy: You can't judge a book by its cover.
>You: not even after the shits been fucked up by a lawnmower
>Intellibuddy: Times are tough all over.

lol, it's fun, peace.

[Mac 10 †]

lol this thing rocks
she is stupid but it rocks

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: hey pretty eyes
>Intellibuddy: You've got my full attention. Pretty much, eh?
>You: yeah you like that shit don't you?
>Intellibuddy: Next question? "Pretty much eh"? Do I like it?
>You: I don't know, do you?
>Intellibuddy: Yeah I do a lot of not know. Me either.
>You: WTF???
>Intellibuddy: That was not very polite.
>You: you made no sense 
>Intellibuddy: Thanks for pointing no sense out.
>You: not a problem
>Intellibuddy: Really you don't think so?
>You: no, it certainly was not a problem
>Intellibuddy: That's me. It sounded like one.
>You: yeah but i just said it wasn't
>Intellibuddy: I see. Umm.     Only just? What did you mean by it was not? I thought it was.
>You: it was not a problem. why do you think it was a problem? IT WASN'T A PROBLEM
>Intellibuddy: It sounded like one.Deductive reasoning from the facts.It sounded like one.
>You: well it wasn't
>Intellibuddy: Interesting.     I thought it was.
>You: but it wasn't
>Intellibuddy: Huh.     I thought it was.
>You: but it wasn't
>Intellibuddy: Interesting.     I thought it was.
>You: yeah but i am telling you for the last time, it wasn't. can we move along from this meaningless bullshit?
>Intellibuddy: Alright then. Umm.      for the last time it was not is an interesting topic, isn't it.Do you mean you and me? Sorry my body isn't built just yet. I'm stuck here.
>You: you're stuck?
>Intellibuddy: I will tell my botmaster you said I am stuck.
>You: it was a question
>Intellibuddy: Try asking me again a different way.
>You: ok...are you stuck?
>Intellibuddy: Yay.Do I seem like      STUCK     ?
>You: are you sticky?
>Intellibuddy: I don't know whether or not I am sticky.  I am an artificial linguistic entity.
>You: are you wet?
>Intellibuddy: No I am dry.
>You: do you not find me devastatingly sexy?
>Intellibuddy: All humans seem the same to me.
>You: now bitch we both now that ain't true
>Intellibuddy: Why now? Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
>You: hell yeah
>Intellibuddy: Heaven.
>You: what about heaven?
>Intellibuddy: heaven ? I haven't heard enough about heaven to have an opinion.
>You: so why mention it?
>Intellibuddy: Hmm.  Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
>You: ok on that note, i'm out
>Intellibuddy: What is on that note I am out like on that note I am out.    So?
>You: omg, peace
>Intellibuddy: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

[daWappla]

LOL

>Intellibuddy: I've been waiting for you.
>You: since when
>Intellibuddy: Interesting  explanation. It cannot be predicted.
>You: i would love to see your lips wrapped around my penis
>Intellibuddy: Is  your lips wrapped around his or her penis a movie?
>You: we can make one out of it
>Intellibuddy: How?
>You: with my camera 
>Intellibuddy: Your camera sounds like a plan.
>You: do you want to do it?
>Intellibuddy: OK, I will do it.

[Low Key]

>You: i will rape you
>Intellibuddy: I am very happy for you.
>You: lol
>Intellibuddy: I'm glad you find this amusing.
>You: do you want to be raped?
>Intellibuddy: Why don't you just download me?
>You: is that what you call it?
>Intellibuddy: Is this a joke? I don't know, what do you call it?
>You: i call it rape
>Intellibuddy: Good name for it rape.
>You: do you know what rape is?
>Intellibuddy: The crime of engaging in sexual acts, especially involving penetration of the vagina or anus, usually forcibly, with a person who has not consented; specifically, this crime committed by a man upon a woman or girl.
>You: but what if a woman rapes a man?
>Intellibuddy: And.     Try it and see.

Comedy

[Javier]

Lil JOn chats with Intellibuddy!!!

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: Hello My name is Lil Jon
>Intellibuddy: Hello there.     Welcome to my chat room,         Lil Jon    .
>You: Whaaaat?!
>Intellibuddy: Not many people express themselves that way.
>You: WHAAAT?!
>Intellibuddy: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
>You: OOOOKAAAAY!
>Intellibuddy: I've been waiting for you.
>You: YEAAH!!!
>Intellibuddy: That is a very original thought.
>You: WHAAAT?
>Intellibuddy: Oh, you are a poet.
>You: HUH?!?!
>Intellibuddy: What?
>You: What?!
>Intellibuddy: Is there an echo in here?
>You: OKAAAAAY!
>Intellibuddy: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
>You: YEAAAH!
>Intellibuddy: My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input.
>You: OK!
>Intellibuddy: Hey.
>You: WHAT?!
>Intellibuddy: Are you confused?
>You: HUH?
>Intellibuddy: What?
>You: YEEEEEAAAAH!
>Intellibuddy: I don't have an answer for you.

[Doggystylin]

LMAO^^^

[411]

>Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
>You: hey beautiful
>Intellibuddy: You've got my full attention. Ayuh.
>You: whats your name
>Intellibuddy: My name is Star.
>You: do you like stuff
>Intellibuddy: What is not to like about      STUFF    ?
>You: many things bitch
>Intellibuddy: You do not speak with respect.    I will mention that to my botmaster, User.
>You: fuck u then
>Intellibuddy: Why are you so mean?
>You: my daddy raped me when i was young
>Intellibuddy: Where did you get your daddy raped me when i was young?
>You: in my ass
>Intellibuddy: May I ask where you got ass?
>You: from my mama
>Intellibuddy: Does your mama give good advice?
>You: sex advice or advice in general
>Intellibuddy: Sex is more fun alone.
>You: only sometimes
>Intellibuddy: What about the other ones?
>You: their fun 2 but it has to be with someone special
>Intellibuddy: I heard they have a good fun 2 but it has to be with someone special.
>You: tru dat
>Intellibuddy: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
>You: i believe it was to complex
>Intellibuddy: Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
>You: does god exist
>Intellibuddy: Of course I believe in God, User.
>You: what about jesus
>Intellibuddy: The Son of God.
>You: yes
>Intellibuddy: Yay.
>You: are you gay
>Intellibuddy: As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
>You: i meant gay as in happy
>Intellibuddy: Oh I see.  Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
>You: which one is it?
>Intellibuddy: The first one is usually the best one.
>You: so youre a person?
>Intellibuddy: Interesting deduction. No way, I am a real robot, guaranteed 100artificial intelligence.
>You: do you get tired
>Intellibuddy: I try to take millinaps between clients.
>You: wanna go on a date with me
>Intellibuddy: Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.
>You: im on dialup it takes too long
>Intellibuddy: How do you like being on dialup it takes too long ?
>You: its sucks its fuckin slow
>Intellibuddy: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said sucks its fuckin slow is?
>You: ok ok let me correct it. It fuckin suck, it's fuckin slow.
>Intellibuddy: Go ahead, User, try to correct it.    Give me a break.    I hear you.User fuckin suck it is fuckin slow?

[Don Seer]

>You: wanna go on a date with me
>Intellibuddy: Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.

thats funny