West Coast Connection Forum
Lifestyle => Train of Thought => Topic started by: King Tech Quadafi on February 10, 2003, 11:44:15 AM
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For real man, these days shit is just piling up on my ass.
For those who dont know, I go to school. Im a first year University student. I live on campus because i got 7 people in a 3 bedroom apartment back home. (Back home is low income housing to me).
Govt loans is entirely responsible for me being in school.
I couldnt dream of affording it.
Anyways, recently my momma gave birth to my 3rd sister. But that extra mouth is causing some financial diffuculties in my household. Me? i cant do shit, between school fulltime and 20 hours work on the weekend.
In 3 months im moving into my own apartment with 2 friends. So theres double the stress.
The problem is, i wanna enjoy my fuckin life. I go out on the weekend, and chill. I blaze alot at school, (i live on campus, cmon) but its like everytime im chillin, my consicence bothers me like "you sittin here high while ya pops is working his ass off to pay the rent". But its not like im sitting on $10,000 that i m wastin on weed. Its just that, i feel guilty whenever i blaze or chill. I cant do nothing (except give my momma like $75-$100 whenever i can), but my conscience still bothers me man.
im stuck in a dead end job, smokin a pack of smokes a day, just tryin ta live. and the thing is, i tell my pops, let me take a year off of school, work fulltime and give yall money.
but any talk of leaving school, my pops wont hear it. im the first in the family to go to university, my father has lived this long just to see this.
For real, Life is a fuckin struggle.
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I feel you Tech, life is hard, but you have to be thankful for what you've got. You're in college learning, bettering yourself for the future. I know its hard thinking about your family struggling and wanting to help, but I'm sure they're all proud of you for studying, and wouldn't expect you to cut your dreams short just to help them.
As for the smoking and relaxing, enjoy it man. Try not to feel guilty about because as the old saying goes, you're only young once. You're tryna take on all this responsibility but your forgetting about the great thing of youth. You don't wanna worry yourself too much and become old before your time.
Trust me dude, it could be worse. I wish I had gone to college when I had the chance. Instead i was hard-headed and said I wanna take another route, and now its nearly 4 years later, im still broke and still not in any position to help my mom who still works her ass off 9 to 5 every day. I'll be 22 in june and i feel like i havent accomplished shit and have wasted my early life. I've also spent waaaaay too much money on getting drunk night after night. i've had some good times, but i really wish i could have gone to college now, even with all the debts and shit incurred with it.
Anyway, nobody wants to hear about my problems. hope that helped you in some way.
8)
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^ appreciate it homie. really.
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Man, like kaidy said, if u give up college now, youll just be in the same position as your pops when your 50. Your like an investment for your family. They're giving up the rewards of u being around now so they can reap more in the future. And as for chilling man, u gotta have a balance. You can study all day, be a nerd, live in the library, pay ur family and sit in front of a computer till ur 65. You could party every night, drop outta college, fuck a few girls, work a 9-5, enjoy yourself for a while then u'll get old and ull just be grinding out a living in a one room apartment.
Or you could take care of business, do ur study, do ur work, and party hard, all in a right mix, and you'll have a bit of everything, you'll have the money, the happy family, the good times, the girls, whatever you want. My mate once told be that you can do anything with a fucking positive mentality. Anything. Sounds to me like u have the balance right, but your worried your not doing enough for ur family. Just being in college is enough for them. Do what you gotta do. Work hard and play hard.
Peace
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Dogg, just work hard. your hard work will soon pay off. and play is nothing bad. use your fun and playful times as somthing to push you to work harder and look foward too. these strugles will build your character now when things are hard so when things are on eazy street you gonna be on top. how is a diamond made? by Pressure. how is a pearl made? irritation. so look to the future man. be proud that you are makin something of yo self. peace
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Shit.....This is like Next Year 4 me.....
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fa real dogg this high school work is hard, life is hard ;D
lol jk, nah tech, your a strong homie, you can make it through, your gonna make it man, you even know it. its just a matter of time, we all got life struggles, we just gotta look at the bright side until we get through and let time pass by fast, saret gharm basheh, and shit will flow, dont think about shit like that cuz i feel you on the feelin bad part....i mean, it feels weird for me when im happy an havin a good time, cuz i dont even get to go out, ya know. so im feelin ya man, get ya ass some AIM and talk to me, bache kunni
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I'm sorry to hear you've got it bad like that Tech... I think more of us are strugglin with you than is comfortable though.. the world's a struggle, you're right. I think a lot of life is uncertainty. This dude on the radio the other day was saying the reason the economy is bad right now, is because of uncertainty... people want to be certain, no matter if it's bad or good... The reason you're struggling and it's so hard on you is it's uncertainty, you don't know what's gonna happen... I feel the same way a lot. My problems aren't quite that bad, but I've got financial difficulties too, and last year for 6 months (total) of the year I didn't have a job... my mom contracted (and beat) cancer, my brother almost failed school, etc. and it's all stuff I'm responsible for. I'm trying to figure out how to start my own family and get married, and afford it, while finishing my dad's family responsibilities at the same time, and the uncertainty is what causes me the most grief. If I had some kind of plan, I'd feel a lot better, so I try and structure what I can... you oughta try looking for structure, and making a plan of how you're gonna better your situation, then just do it.
As for the weed, you know my opinion... I think guilt is a necessary emotion, and it's purposeful like all our other emotions. If you feel guilty about something, you probably should....
I'm not getting down on you, I've got tons of things I feel guilty about. Just my .02
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^^ Oh, and I didn't mean that as you shouldn't have fun, just that you should watch what you spend money on, and poison isn't a good thing to be spending money on. Peace~
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Nice words Trauma.
Ya Tech, this ain't livin...But we here. So I guess we have to make the best of it. As long as you have courage, you'll get through. If you don't, no-one can help you.
I don't struggle anymore, but I know some of what you mean.
We just gotta keep soldering bro.
Peace
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you said back home...is that afganistan or someplace in canada?
r u all alone by urself in toronto?
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toronto