West Coast Connection Forum
Lifestyle => Tha G-Spot => Topic started by: Mr. O on June 30, 2006, 06:45:03 PM
-
here's mine
well...
there's this black guy who was watch miss cleo's commerical.
He decided to try it once to see if it's real.
Once he punched in the number, he heard a woman's voice
saying, "welcome, this is miss cleo, how can i help you?"
the guy asked, "what does the future hold in for me?"
She responded saying," oooh.. you seem to have troubled life...and..and..i se..see..
you are having trouble within your family."
he responded with, "tell me something that I don't know."
Miss cleo said, "oooo...hold on..i do sense something bad happening with your financial."
the guy asked,"what will happen?"
Miss cleo was trying to meditate..and then
Miss. cleo said, "after this call, your phone bill is fucked!"
;)
-
:-\
-
A duck goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "No. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes." The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck goes back to the bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "I told you yeaterday. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes."
The following day, the duck returns and asks,"Got any grapes?" The bartender loses it. He grabs the duck by the neck, and yells, "I already told you twice! This is a bar! I don't have any grapes! If you ask me again, I'll nail your beak to the floor!"
The next day, the duck goes in the bar and asks, "Got any nails?" The bartender sighs and says, "No, we don't have any nails." The duck says, "Good. Got any grapes?"
-
okay. i got one. kinda racist. but whatever. got it from boondock saints.
There's a spic, a nigger, and a white guy.
They all get one wish from god.
God asks the spic what he wants.
The spic replies, "I want all my people to go back to their homeland." So all the spics return to their homeland.
God asks the nigger what he wants.
The nigger replies, "I want all my people to go back to their homeland." So all the niggers return to their homeland.
God asks the white guy what he wants.
The white guy replies, "Well, the nigger and the spics are gone. Hmmmmm. I'll guess i'll have a coke."
lol, there you have it. i thought it was pretty funny.
-
A duck goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "No. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes." The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck goes back to the bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says, "I told you yeaterday. This is a bar and we don't sell grapes."
The following day, the duck returns and asks,"Got any grapes?" The bartender loses it. He grabs the duck by the neck, and yells, "I already told you twice! This is a bar! I don't have any grapes! If you ask me again, I'll nail your beak to the floor!"
The next day, the duck goes in the bar and asks, "Got any nails?" The bartender sighs and says, "No, we don't have any nails." The duck says, "Good. Got any grapes?"
LOL
-
lol those jokes go hard.
-
"... So She Says 'Do You Love Me' and I Say 'No, But That's a Real Nice Ski Mask'"
Q: Why Are Black People So Tall?
A: Cause Their Knee Grows
-
women say on the one hand, we'll never expirence the joy of childbirth... but on the other hand we can open all our own jars ;D
-
ik ken een mop.... TWEE TIETEN IN EEN ENVELOP!!
-
this is how the joke goes:
There were three drunk guys and they got in a car accident. They go to heaven and plead god for a second chance. God says, "Alright, but don't step on a duck. The drunks reply, "Why ducks?" God repeats, "Just don't step on a duck." The drunks agree and go back down to earth.
A few weeks go by, and the first steps on a duck. Instantly, he's chained to the ugliest woman in the world. A month goes by and the second steps on a duck. The last of them is laughing at the others and is instantly chained to the most beautiful woman in the world.
He says, "God, what did I do for this?" The girl says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."
-
So its a young boy's day at school wit a substiute teacher. When the day ends he comes home and tells his mother he had sex for the first time....wit his teacher. His mother gets really mad and calls the boys father. The father says 'Finally kid now your a man' then goes 'I'm so proud of you son I'm gonna go buy you a new bike.' An hour later the father comes home wit a new bike. The father doesn't understand why he won't sit on it. The young boy goes ' Daddy my ass still hurts.'
-
So its a young boy's day at school wit a substiute teacher. When the day ends he comes home and tells his mother he had sex for the first time....wit his teacher. His mother gets really mad and calls the boys father. The father says 'Finally kid now your a man' then goes 'I'm so proud of you son I'm gonna go buy you a new bike.' An hour later the father comes home wit a new bike. The father doesn't understand why he won't sit on it. The young boy goes ' Daddy my ass still hurts.'
dat sux :-\
-
So its a young boy's day at school wit a substiute teacher. When the day ends he comes home and tells his mother he had sex for the first time....wit his teacher. His mother gets really mad and calls the boys father. The father says 'Finally kid now your a man' then goes 'I'm so proud of you son I'm gonna go buy you a new bike.' An hour later the father comes home wit a new bike. The father doesn't understand why he won't sit on it. The young boy goes ' Daddy my ass still hurts.'
dat sux :-\
I got it from my grandfather who got it from playboy. :-\
-
So its a young boy's day at school wit a substiute teacher. When the day ends he comes home and tells his mother he had sex for the first time....wit his teacher. His mother gets really mad and calls the boys father. The father says 'Finally kid now your a man' then goes 'I'm so proud of you son I'm gonna go buy you a new bike.' An hour later the father comes home wit a new bike. The father doesn't understand why he won't sit on it. The young boy goes ' Daddy my ass still hurts.'
dat sux :-\
I got it from my grandfather who got it from playboy. :-\
LMAO!!! now thats funny
-
What do you call a chav in a box?
Innit..
What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on?
Safe..
What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted..
-
wats a chav?
-
a joke in itself
(http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/ccarter/2004/10/22/chavs.jpg)
more here >> http://www.wilsonhq.com/Insanity/chavs.htm
-
so they're basicly underground buberry people
-
haha sort of.. that burberry pattern has become a dresscode.. but they're basically redneck white trash types.. too stupid to realise that they're conforming to a ridiculed dress code
-
So this guy he is looking for his block of cheese, he walks around and finally sees someone with a block of cheese, he asks the man "Hey, is that my cheese" and the man says "No, Its NACHO CHEESE"
LOL
What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?
Walk Him and Pitch To The Rhino
-
So this guy he is looking for his block of cheese, he walks around and finally sees someone with a block of cheese, he asks the man "Hey, is that my cheese" and the man says "No, Its NACHO CHEESE"
HORRENDOUS!!!
-
A former prostitute asks an old friend to help her find a job. They start working on the resume, and the hooker says, "What should I put down as occupation? I shouldn't put 'hooker', should I?" Her friend replies, "No, try something softer." She thinks, and says, "Prostitute?" Her friend replies, "No, that's still too harsh. Try something that's related to your job." The hooker thinks, and comes up with, "Chicken Farmer". Her friend says, "What does chicken farming have to do with prostitution?" The hooker answers, "Well, I raised 500 cocks last year."
-
What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?
Walk Him and Pitch To The Rhino
lmao ;D
-
women say on the one hand, we'll never expirence the joy of childbirth... but on the other hand we can open all our own jars ;D
HAHA
-
So This Man Walks Into a Bar And Says "OW"
Why was the suicide Bomber Dissapointed when he met his 72 Virgins?
Because He Blew His Dick Off!
-
So This Man Walks Into a Bar And Says "OW"
Why was the suicide Bomber Dissapointed when he met his 72 Virgins?
Because He Blew His Dick Off!
HAHa
-
On reaching manhood, the farmer's son is given a duck. "I'm sorry I don't have anything more to give you, son," the farmer tells him. "Let's just see how enterprising you are."
The son goes into town and first off goes in the brothel. He explains it's his birthday to the madam and that all he has in the world is the duck. "Well, I think I have a girl for you," she says, and takes the duck in payment.
Well but who might've imagined the vigor of this boy! He and the girl go at it for hours, and when he's done the greatly-pleased prostitute is so impressed she begs him to do her again. "I'll arrange to get your payment back if you do," she pleads. And who is the farmer's son to refuse?
Now satisfied with himself, the farmer's son heads home, duck in hand. On the way, however, a coach speeds by recklessly, knocking the bird out of his hand and crushing it under its wheels. The driver stops and apologizes profusely for the accident. "I'm in a hurry, son, but please accept this fiver for your loss." The young man thanks the driver and heads home.
The old farmer finds his son arrived with a great big smile on his face but no bird. "So how did you do, boy?" he asked.
"Great!" the son answered. "I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and a fucked-up duck for a fiver!!"
-
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.There was no shortage of extremely young,idealistic ladies in attendance,one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me,Sergeant Major,but you seem to be a very serious man.Is something bothering you?
"Negative, ma'am I am just serious by nature."
"The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said,it looks like you have seen a lot of action."
"Yes ma'am,I have seen alot of action."
The young lady tiring of trying to start a conversation,said,
You know,you should lighten up a little.
Finally the young lady said,"I hope you don't take this the wrong way,
But when was the last time you had sex?
"The last time I had sex was 1955,ma'am."
"Well,there you are.You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously!You are not kidding,no sex since 1955?
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.
Afterwards,panting for breath,she leaned against his bare chest and said, Wow,you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"
The Sergeant Major,glancing at his watch in his matter-of-fact voice,"I hope not,it's only 2130 now."
peace
-
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.There was no shortage of extremely young,idealistic ladies in attendance,one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me,Sergeant Major,but you seem to be a very serious man.Is something bothering you?
"Negative, ma'am I am just serious by nature."
"The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said,it looks like you have seen a lot of action."
"Yes ma'am,I have seen alot of action."
The young lady tiring of trying to start a conversation,said,
You know,you should lighten up a little.
Finally the young lady said,"I hope you don't take this the wrong way,
But when was the last time you had sex?
"The last time I had sex was 1955,ma'am."
"Well,there you are.You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously!You are not kidding,no sex since 1955?
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.
Afterwards,panting for breath,she leaned against his bare chest and said, Wow,you sure didn't forget much since 1955!"
The Sergeant Major,glancing at his watch in his matter-of-fact voice,"I hope not,it's only 2130 now."
peace
i enjoyed that one :D
chill