West Coast Connection Forum
Elements => Tha Studio => Topic started by: Rud on August 13, 2001, 07:04:51 AM
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MY RHYMES STILL IN SCHOOL/
COS I BREAK EVERY RULE/
EVER MADE TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A FOOL/
BUT IT OFTEN BACKFIRES/
GET BEAT BACK BY LIARS/
AND THOSE FUCKIN NEW TRIERS/
DID U THINK I GOT BEAT IN THE FIRST ROUND (OH YES)/
DID U THINK I GOT CRUSHED IN THE SECOND (NOT MY BEST)/
THE THIRD TIME AROUND HAS GOT TO RE-TEST/
MY LYRICAL ABILITY/
TO CRUSH YOUR AGILITY/
UR LYRICS FLOW LIKE A RUSSIAN GYMNAST/
BUT I GUARANTEE IT CANT LAST/
TO GET PAST THE VERY REACH OF MY CLASS/
YOU WILL SEE AFTER PRACTICE/
MY LYRICS WILL MAKE SHIT FLOW LIKE A LAXATIVE/
WITH CREATIVENESS 2 BLOW U AWAY/
YOU BEG ME TO STAY/
BUT YOUR RHYMES JUST GET IN MY WAY/
SO ILL BRUSH U ASIDE AND GET ON MY STRIDE/
AND MAKE U ALL ONLOOK WITH PRIDE
I WAS BORED, AND THAT WAS A BIT WACK
VOTE N E WAY!
peace
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It flowed decently in some respects, but the rhyming was a bit bland. I would suggest either ABAB, AAAA, or AABA CCDC...
I would give a 5 to an experienced keystyler(mediocre), but as you're new to this, it seems, 6...It's a fair first effort.
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K, WELL 3RD EFFORT! LOL
ILL TAKE THAT ON BOARD!
CHEERS
MORE COMMENTS PLEASE!!
peace
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MY LYRICS WILL MAKE SHIT FLOW LIKE A LAXATIVE/
That lines tight bro, you gettin better every time...
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CHEERS!
;D
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getten better stick with it
try n sound a bit more sophisticated
like u dun gotta use bigger wordz
just not basik onez
say like instead of war battle
instead of army - horde
u know mix it up
i aint no expert but thats wha i try n do
peace man
good luck
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