West Coast Connection Forum
Elements => Tha Studio => Topic started by: Cee-O on December 18, 2002, 08:29:14 PM
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I wrote this jus chillin in my room. Let me know what you all think.
Thanks,
Cee-O
Every time that I spit//
Seems it comes out like shit//
But if my shit is legit//
Gotta keep doin it//
Cause there's no givin in//
From this rut that I'm in//
How tha hell can I ever win if I never begin//
If I try standin tall//
Maybe these walls will fall//
If I go on tha prawl//
If I let out a growl//
Need to put up a fight//
To help me get through tha night//
All my dreams are within sight if my feelings ignite//
On tha A-train to nowhere//
I act like I don't care//
Drunken from despair//
All I show is a blank stare//
My body's on empty//
I drop down on both knees//
Please God there's gotta be an end to this misery//
I've taken their best shot//
Left me weary and distraught//
I'm done is what they thought//
Not enough is what they brought//
Won't put up with tha same old//
It's time to gain control//
I gotta let em know that I ain't gonna fold//
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this was alright for a first drop..um..you bars are a little to short and I didn't see any multis and metas in there I mean that is what a freestyle is all bout..anyone cus just put words to gether and make lines rhyme but the fun part is the metas and multis...work on it a little more 8) :-*
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nice drop, for a first one
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like femcee said, bars were a lil to short, flowed well tho, extend ya vocab a bit, need those multis and metas, personals are much of a concern in keystyle
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like femcee said, bars were a lil to short, flowed well tho, extend ya vocab a bit, need those multis and metas, personals are much of a concern in keystyle
yomp, agreed
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Thanks for all tha feedback. I really appreciate it. I'll be back wit another fo sho.
peace,
Cee-O