West Coast Connection Forum
Elements => Tha Studio => Topic started by: bez on February 03, 2003, 11:16:47 AM
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Now I see I said, that man is me I said,
I hate my life I wish I was dead I said,
Thinkin of the future makes me shiver,
7 years bad luck as I smash this mirror,
But then I think about life and where its goin,
I could be gone in an instant without anyone knowin,
But then I'm only 17 I need to think about my health,
People tell my its more important than life itself,
And I agree I said, talkin to myself, I need to start feelin good about me,
Thousand pieces of glass lay on the floor, each piece with a different story,
But the chapters are over, each page been turned and now I feel young and free,
It only takes seconds, just close your eyes, enter the mind of B e z,
So I scream I did, and I laugh I did, makes me feel big and strong,
I don't deserve what I was born into, I feel so alone, I never did anything wrong,
But I'm the man I am, your Bez I said, as I picked up a bit of glass,
But I dont see me in the reflection, its someone else, all they do is point the finger and laugh,
Lifes bullshit I say, as I flash a smile, and the sun beams into the room,
I see my face in the mirror, smiling free then all thats heard is boom,
Blood stains the carpet and where I lay is where I will rest in peace,
Cos lifes no good, if you dont believe in you, I ask God to bless the deceased,
I lay on the floor, I shouted for someone for help, but dam it was all to late,
I saw the light come down and pick me up and in a second I was at the gate,
I see I said, that man is me I said, I hated life but I wish I wasn't dead I said,
The clock stopped ticken, I stopped liven, and now I'm full of regret,
I see I said that man is me I said, so please don't ever forget!
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Very nice, I liked how the beginning coresponded with the ending, and im 17 to so i could really relate to most lines, very deep, liked the rhyme structure and for a poem flowed nice, one of your better poems id say...
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That was some deep shit.. I liked it.. The whole structure
I see I said, that man is me I said, I hated life but I wish I wasn't dead I said,
The clock stopped ticken, I stopped liven, and now I'm full of regret,
I see I said that man is me I said, so please don't ever forget!
The best lines ^^
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I liked this, had some strong lines like the ones Gareefa quoted, nice poem