West Coast Connection Forum

Lifestyle => Tha G-Spot => Topic started by: KING VerbalAssaulta on May 03, 2003, 02:24:51 PM

Title: how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: KING VerbalAssaulta on May 03, 2003, 02:24:51 PM
how many of these have you experienced???

1. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you proceed

to shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)

2. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep

and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

3. Western Grip- When jerking off, turn your hand around, so

that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western.

4. The Blumpkin- You need to find a real tramp to do this

right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

5. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments

before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the

back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly,

the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

6.  :D Golden Shower - Any form of pissing all over a chick (a.k.a.- watersports)

7. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the

neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

8. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty

wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However,

you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must

gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

9. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you

oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek.

It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.

10. The Flying Camel - NO TECH it has nothing to do with having sex with a camel. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.

11. Fishhook - A variation of the shocker in which you pull

back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

12. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you

start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The

force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

13. Bismarck- This is another one involving oral sex. Right before

you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together.

14. Jelly Dougnut: A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to

do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.

15. The Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking on your balls,

tap the head of your cock on her forehead.

16. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you

attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it

can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

17. Tossing Salad - Another prison act where one person is

forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are

available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison.

18. Rim Job: Another name for tossing salad. Focuses on the use

of the tongue.

19. The Bucking Bronco- An all time classic. You start by going
doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

20. Pink glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough.
When you pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

21. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having
her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure

as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all

over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed).

22. New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that

when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails.

23. The Dirty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while

laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez.

24. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her

ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed

winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.

25. Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick lapping away and

discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you

stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry

smothers your face.

26. Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who

has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.

27. The ChiliDog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then

proceed to titty **** her.

28. Gaylord Perry: Going to only one knuckle during an anal

probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple

knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required (either

on one finger or on multiple).

29. Rear Admiral: An absolute blast. When getting a chic from

behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to

anythingwhen she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside

so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.

30. Glass Bottom Boat: Putting saran wrap over your partners

face and proceeding to lay a hot shit there.

31. Ray-Bans: Put your testicles over her eye sockets while

getting head.

(Picture it: ass on forhead) It may be anatomically impossible,

but it is definitely worth a try.

32. Snowmobile: Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's

on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.

33. Dutch Oven: Rather simple. Whenever you bust ass while in

the sack pull the covers over both of your head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well.
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Reef on May 03, 2003, 02:31:23 PM
LMAO... This remids me of the Profansoarus from the Viz mag
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: bez on May 03, 2003, 02:35:50 PM
all of em
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Now_Im_Not_Banned on May 03, 2003, 02:50:02 PM
LoL...U got this from the Sex Board at the BodyBuilding Forums...I was cracking up when I first read it...
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Agua on May 03, 2003, 03:27:09 PM
freaky sex acts? some ish is just pervert and misogynist
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: OutSider on May 03, 2003, 04:13:50 PM
SICK......
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: pappy on May 03, 2003, 04:24:15 PM
SICK......

havnt u performed more than half of these pink
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: OutSider on May 03, 2003, 04:41:26 PM
SICK......

havnt u performed more than half of these pink

nope.. the people i see are not sick and demented like that....

besides.. i think you are mistaking me for your mother...
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Twentytwofifty on May 03, 2003, 04:50:25 PM
5. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments
before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the
back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly,
the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

I'm eventually going to do this.

8. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty
wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However,
you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

I've done a variation of this.

13. Bismarck- This is another one involving oral sex. Right before
you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together.

Girls actually love this I hear.

15. The Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking on your balls,
tap the head of your cock on her forehead.

I'm going attempt this by the end of the week.

32. Snowmobile: Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's
on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.

LMAO, I've never thought of this.  I'm doing this for sure next time.
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: The Big Bad Ass on May 03, 2003, 06:45:27 PM
This thread has been done several times, but it still makes me laugh reading those. Donkey Punch is my fave.
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Kaidy on May 03, 2003, 06:56:30 PM
19. The Bucking Bronco- An all time classic. You start by going
doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

as an alternative, you can just tell her you fucked her sister, cousin, mother etc. works just the same, if not better
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: pappy on May 03, 2003, 07:38:37 PM
SICK......

havnt u performed more than half of these pink

nope.. the people i see are not sick and demented like that....

besides.. i think you are mistaking me for your mother...
nope i dont think i am atleast my mother isnt the one sleeping around with every guy an girl she sees
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Doggystylin on May 03, 2003, 08:00:19 PM
yeah i posted this list a long ass time ago, still funny though
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: KING VerbalAssaulta on May 04, 2003, 05:36:30 AM
gee...i didnt know it was posted already   and yes MAD QUESTIONEZ i got it from bb.....it laughed my ass off on some of them
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: SCY on May 04, 2003, 07:01:25 AM
i went to tinkal taskal last night and got full sex for 100 euros
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: TheSheriff on May 04, 2003, 08:02:11 AM
Nice.
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Now_Im_Not_Banned on May 04, 2003, 01:48:35 PM
gee...i didnt know it was posted already  :-* and yes MAD QUESTIONEZ i got it from bb.....it laughed my ass off on some of them



LMAO...ssshhh, don't tell anyone I'm MaDD qUeStiOnZ...I act wayyy different on thee bb board...It's quite funny actually...Especially Because I Type Like This And Everyone Gets Pissed...hahaha
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Kain670 on May 04, 2003, 05:31:08 PM
 ;D I did all the even ones....haha
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Rick on May 05, 2003, 04:55:33 PM
Here's a nasty one my friend once told me called..

The Abraham Lincoln: You previously shave you pubic hairs and then get a blowjob. Bust it in her face and then throw the hairs in the same spot to give her a beard (like Abe Lincoln's).
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: The Big Bad Ass on May 05, 2003, 05:45:01 PM
Here's a nasty one my friend once told me called..

The Abraham Lincoln: You previously shave you pubic hairs and then get a blowjob. Bust it in her face and then throw the hairs in the same spot to give her a beard (like Abe Lincoln's).

LMFAO. Haven't heard that one yet. Thats great.
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: KING VerbalAssaulta on May 05, 2003, 05:54:43 PM
oops sorry NIK...you post some funny shit on the bb board sometims though...i dont post much in the sections you do though...will have to start though
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Native_Joe99 on May 10, 2003, 01:29:00 AM
on the real, 7, 9, 12, 20, 24, 25 (not on my face though), and 32. when your with a girl for a while, you'll try anything. i would probly have done more but it has never involved shitting.
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Cee HOODY on May 12, 2003, 08:15:04 AM
bunch of stupid shit you neva did

you probably still a virgin
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Gangsta_T on May 14, 2003, 01:54:00 AM
lmao

this was a good read....
hard shit for some parts

T
Title: Re:how many freaky sex acts have U done??
Post by: Native_Joe99 on May 14, 2003, 12:15:52 PM
bunch of stupid shit you neva did

you probably still a virgin
naw sorry dogg, i fucked too many hoes in my time, the only time you will ever see pussy is by lookin in the mirror.

c'mon now foo, quit bein a bitch and grow some hair.