West Coast Connection Forum

Lifestyle => Tha G-Spot => Topic started by: Jay ay Beee on August 21, 2003, 03:10:08 PM

Title: LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: Jay ay Beee on August 21, 2003, 03:10:08 PM
These really are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters in America.

Q: Are you sexually active?

A: No, I just lie there.


Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.



Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A:Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?



Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.



Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.



Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.



Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?



Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?



Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?



Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?



Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?



Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?



Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?



Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.



Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.



Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.



Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr... Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.



Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?



Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: The Big Bad Ass on August 21, 2003, 03:18:59 PM
lol, there was some funny ones in there.
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: Tha_Reverend on August 21, 2003, 03:28:11 PM
lmao
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: UDollar A.K.A Nino on August 21, 2003, 03:38:12 PM
Fo real, there was some funny ones around....


Quote
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr... Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: Noon Bank$ on August 21, 2003, 03:38:39 PM
lol my uncle was doin jury duty...and some stoned guy was getting asked the questions. The person asking the questions said "Is it true that you filled the hole with soil?" and the guy said "Nope. The hole was filled with dirt". He kept fighting back saying it was dirty, not soil.
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: pappy on August 21, 2003, 04:10:23 PM
this was a really good post i called my mom into read it an we both started cracking up lol.  *clicks props jay*
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: Jay ay Beee on August 21, 2003, 05:15:43 PM
*clicks props jay*

I need 'em lol
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: bez on August 21, 2003, 05:30:23 PM
LMFAO
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: Jome on August 21, 2003, 06:01:37 PM
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.


Many good ones, but this has to be among the best disses ever.. lol
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: Doggystylin on August 21, 2003, 06:19:18 PM
LMFAAAOOOO that was fuckin hilarious, i was gonna quote one but then there was so many i said fuck it, lol
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: P Nelson on August 21, 2003, 06:29:39 PM
Ay Fame, I dont get that avatar
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: Jome on August 21, 2003, 07:17:47 PM
Ay Fame, I dont get that avatar

M.O.P. dissed and murdered Fabolous on his own god damned remix, and that fa bo lo us dude thinks otherwise, so it's just showing him the truth.  8)
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: [Stoned]Jesus H. Christ[Wheat] on August 21, 2003, 07:38:42 PM
that was some funny shit
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: HHH on August 22, 2003, 01:32:36 AM
lmao  ;D
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: Eidolon_Ravi on August 22, 2003, 03:40:39 AM
lmao  ;D
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: 7even on August 22, 2003, 04:20:23 AM
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.


Many good ones, but this has to be among the best disses ever.. lol

classic
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: Sikotic™ on August 23, 2003, 12:38:52 PM
LMAO the last one was dope.
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: Jay ay Beee on August 23, 2003, 01:40:22 PM
What's up Sik

Long time no see
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: eS El Duque on August 23, 2003, 01:56:00 PM
Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?



haha ^^ thats fukin funny 8)

Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: Da WCC Hopar! on August 23, 2003, 09:03:49 PM
dis was da funnist shit i have ever read can sumone post more of this funny shit or sumthin like it? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;Dlmfao
Title: Re:LMAO Things people have said in court...
Post by: OmNIsCiUs on August 25, 2003, 04:05:00 AM
dude thats  a fkn classic, u the man!