West Coast Connection Forum
Lifestyle => Sports & Entertainment => Topic started by: Mo Z. Dizzle on September 13, 2005, 05:15:38 PM
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wutz ur favourite Simpson line or quote?
mine is is that episode from i think lass season where Professor Frink showz Bart and Lisa their future; and durin the episode, Smithers takez an injection that makez him straight, and he goez "i luv BOOOBIEZZ!!" lol
anywho, thas mine, post urz.
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Barts famous "I didnt do it"
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doh!
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"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.'" -Homer Simpson
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two quotes i can think of are both from ralph wiggum
"Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!" and "Go Banana"
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"My Mom Thinks Im Cool" - Milhouse
Some dude that lives by me and looks Just like Milhouse said that once and i was ballin laughin, its always been stuck in my head since
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"okally dokally" - ned flanders
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"Flanders gimme some more water, my socks feel dirty" when they were stranded on the raft on the boy scout trip....Homer wanted they're remained fresh water to clean his socks! :laugh:
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i'm definitely diggin the super nintendo chalmers episode....when ralph said that i was rollin
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i'm definitely diggin the super nintendo chalmers episode....when ralph said that i was rollin
yeh, Ralph dropps some memorable lines...
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Lisa in this house we follow the rules of thermodynamics
that line killedme
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"My cats breathe smells like cat food"
or...
"Close but you're way off"
"did u kno the only natural enemie to a hole is a pile"
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I am so smart, S-M-R-T
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"i said shut your stinkin face flanders!!!!" - homer when he saved bart from being baptist and got holy water on his head.....
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I just found some funny ones
"I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight."
"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
"I'm in a place where I don't know where I am!"
"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."
"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.
"Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).
"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"
"Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do
"Trying is the first step towards failure."
"America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"
"What's the point of going out, we're just going to end up back here anyway?"
"Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them." (to aliens who abducted Simpson family)
"I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming."
"Being popular is the most important thing in the world!"
"I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight."
"It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone."
"They have the Internet on computers, now?"
"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"
"When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces,,...I just know they're about to jab me with something."
"If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.
"Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You"
"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."
"Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems."
"Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college."
"No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you."
"Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory."
"All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad."
You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."
"Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs."
"English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"
"I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!"
" Kiss you? But Dad, I'm your kid!"
"Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ."
"There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson.
"What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it."
"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!"
"What a day, eh Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them-as is my understanding."
"Remember, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun."
"I am through with working. Working is for chumps."
"Oh no, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican."
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the two funniest things on that show to me are when the robber says "yoink" or when nelson laughs.
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lol those lines are hilarious....but to me the simpsons are a lot about visual stuff also....like when that tall guy is riding in that little car in a parade and nelson laughs at him, the tall guy gets out and says are u making fun of my automobile in a real nerdy voice. or when they have the radioactive man auditions and nelson tries out for fallout boy and he doesnt make it. so he says his patented haha! in the mirror and then he says ow! that hurt. lol shits hilarious
peace
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I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
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Damn i remember where it happened.. but not what it was..
i think bart + lisa snuck in to see a horror movie and bart makes a quip about it corrupting minds or something...
anyone got a clue what i'm waffling on about? lol
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there's this april fools episode where homer is hospitalized because of bart and bart is reminiscing about all the times he pissed homer off....it was just atleast 2-3 minutes of non stop "DOH"....its not a line but its the most hilarious bit of the simpsons i can remember
peace
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"do you want yo change your name to homer junior? the kidz can call u hoju" - Homer sayin that to Bart
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the episode with cypress hill : who ordered an orchestra? i mean someone ordered an orchestra? somebody when they where high..cypress hill i'm looking in your direction...yeah i think we did,do you know insane the brain?
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TOO MANY GOOD ONES. IT WOULD TAKE ABOUT 2 PAGES :banana_trippin:
Bart if we had 10,000 dollars we'd all be millionaires and could buy all kinds of usful things like...love
After Apu gets shot yet again
Ah. The searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you. I mean, I think I'm dying
I'm gonna party like its on sale for $19.99
After Homer pushes Bart out of the way and takes his batism
Bart: Wow Dad, you took a baptismal for me. How do you feel?
Homer: (speaking softly)
Oh Bartholomew, I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan.
Ned Flanders: Wait! Homer, what did you just say?
Homer: I said shut your ugly face, Flanders!
Manjula: [Waking Apu up] Apu, it's 4:00 am, your late for work.
Apu: [Wakes Up] Oh, I just had the most beautiful dream where I died.
Manjula: Oh, no you don't. Not 'til [the 8 kids are] out of college.
Apu: Listen, I'll die when I want to
Apu: Pardon me, but I would like to see this money spent on more police officers. I have been shot eight times this year, and as a result, I almost missed work.
Homer:(after Bart gets accused of stealing) How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy that gives those sermons in church? Captain What's-his-name. We live in a society of laws, why do you think I took you to see all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing.
Homer: So I said, "Look buddy, your car was upside-down when I got here. And as for your grandmother, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that."
Burns: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.
Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Bart writing on chalk board on opening credits.
sponge bob is not a contraseptive
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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millhouse:
bart remember when your dog ate my gold fish, then you tried to cover it up by saying i didnt have any?? But why the bowl bart? why would i have the bowlll..???
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Homer going to be a missionary:
'I Don't even believe in Jebus.........Save Me Jebus!!!'
GOAT
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"do you want yo change your name to homer junior? the kidz can call u hoju" - Homer sayin that to Bart
LMMFAO!!!
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"I would like to thank jebus" ---homer
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"do you want yo change your name to homer junior? the kidz can call u hoju" - Homer sayin that to Bart
LMAO
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another good one
"me fail english? thas unpossbile!" by ralph wiggum
and the one my mom and sister luv
"lisa is a nut; she has a rubber butt; when she turnz around, it goez 'putt putt'"
lol
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I saw one today where Homer and the fam tried to get in to Flanders' storm shelter and he said "i knew this would happen so I made it for both our families" and Homer says "No deal, get out!"
He's the best.
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correct me if i'm wrong
either bart or lisa: "what's a muppet?"
homer: "well it's not quite a mop and it's not quite a puppet"
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sideshow bob find lisa and bart in his office and takes them home 2 marge who is suprised at lisa wen sideshow bob says
"especially lisa , but especially bart"
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^^^^^ yeah, and then Homer shuts the door and he says, "well I hope Bob fed ya 'cause I ate your dinners" :laugh:
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que the flinstones music:
"simpson, homer simpson, he's the greatest guy in history
from the town of springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree"
and then totals his car, lol, peace.
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Millhouse: Is this the un'timely end of millhouse??
Kid: Wait a minute, Millhouse is by name
Millhouse: A pain i know to well
Millhouse: so this is what its like when duds cry...
haha that was from the episode when the shelbyville kids steal the springfield lemon tree.....
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^^^ hahahahahaha, comedy :laugh:
yeah that shit's real funny, but I think he says "when doves cry" which makes it even gayer and funnier :D
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^^^ hahahahahaha, comedy :laugh:
yeah that shit's real funny, but I think he says "when doves cry" which makes it even gayer and funnier :D
Yeh mite be, cant quite remember.. just thought of that scene when i was reading through em.. that episode cracks me up.
"wait a minute, theres a lemon behind that lemon shaped rock"
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how about when they go on vacation and Lisa's at the library with the "new friends" she is trying to impress and Bart tries to win them by doin skating tricks
Milhouse: "So, are we down with 'em?"
Bart: >:( "No... they probably saw YOU"
Milhouse: :-[
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yeh lolol... like when they round the table playin that mystrey date game and homer ripps into millhouse cos the person bart picked looked like him.. "hey he looks like you pointdexter"
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"Stand up for yourself Poindexter" :laugh:
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Homer comes back with the bomb and a bag full of shit like a porno mag, condoms, and panty hos :laugh:
Marge: "Homer, I don't know what you got planned for tonight, but count me out"
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Homer comes back with the bomb and a bag full of shit like a porno mag, condoms, and panty hos :laugh:
Marge: "Homer, I don't know what you got planned for tonight, but count me out"
yeh thats a classic lol...
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"mmmmm...donuts"
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Homer is talking to the Germans trying to buy the power plant, and then has fantasy in the land of chocolate and then awakes
Homer: "You said something about chocolate?"
German: "That was 10 minutes ago >:("
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all the bullies are the staff at Kamp Krusty and Mr. Black introduces the kids to them in the back and everyone looks at them........
*Wendell coughs*
Jimbo: "Looks like we've got ourselves a trouble-maker"
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Homer: "Bart, I don't want to alarm you. But there may be a Boogie Man or Boogie Men in the house!"
Bart: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" :o
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Homer: "Bart, I don't want to alarm you. But there may be a Boogie Man or Boogie Men in the house!"
Bart: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" :o
yeh definatley a hella funny moment that.. all hidin behind tha sofa with the shotgun for protection.. ;)
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'what are you gonna do? make your own casino with your friends?"
"he sure showed me" :(
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Marge: "but homer i dont wana snuggle up to max powers"
Homer: "no one struggles upto max power, you strap your self in and feel the G's"....
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the episode where lisa comes out wit her own doll; but she needs help from Smithers for sumthin, smithers turns on his computer and it has a Mr. Burns screensaver thing that goes "hello smithers, you're quite good at turnin me on" or sumthin like that lol
and then smithers goes to Lisa "ummm.....u shud prolly ignore that" lol
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the episode where lisa comes out wit her own doll; but she needs help from Smithers for sumthin, smithers turns on his computer and it has a Mr. Burns screensaver thing that goes "hello smithers, you're quite good at turnin me on" or sumthin like that lol
and then smithers goes to Lisa "ummm.....u shud prolly ignore that" lol
oh yeah that was well funny, completely forgot about that... so many funny moments in simpsons:
like epsiode when they go to brazil to find lisa's brazilian pen pal and homer gets kidnapped.. and he makes his kidnappers a scrap book of their best moments and they get all touchy feely feely lol, that had me rolling..
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One that popped into my head when I saw this thread was Homer's,
"Donuts, is there anything they can't do?"
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bart says something like "school sucks" and marge says where do you hear such language, that's when they show homer on the phone and he says "yea lenny, they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked"...
or kent brockman, when he says "were live" then he says "you wanna know how i know were live? Penis" lol
peace.
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Lisa and Bart after Bart has ruined Lisa's state flag she created
Bart: "You should seen the look on your face, it looked something like this" Bart holds up a piece of paper with a drawing of Lisa saying "I'm a loser!" LOLOL ;D ;D i was laughing for days after that.
and from the same epsiode
Bart & Lisa lost in the woods
Lisa: "I think we're lost"
Bart: "I once was lost, but then i read a book - a book that changed my life. It was called "Lisa is stupid"." :D :D
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when Bart keeps faking sick to get out of a test, Grandpa comes to pick him up and Bart is sittin in the front seat loungin on the way home
Grandpa: "Did you ever read "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" ?"
Bart: "I glanced at it a few times, never got around to finishing it"
:laugh:
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Homer & Lisa arn't talking to eachother...
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Moe: Man! You go through life, you try to be nice to people, you
struggle to resist the urge to punch 'em in the face, and for what?
For some pimply little _puke_ to treat you like dirt unless you're on
a _team_. Well, I'm better than dirt -- well, most kinds of
dirt. I mean, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff's
loaded with nutrients. I -- I can't compete with that stuff.
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Homer & Lisa arn't talking to eachother...
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Moe: Man! You go through life, you try to be nice to people, you
struggle to resist the urge to punch 'em in the face, and for what?
For some pimply little _puke_ to treat you like dirt unless you're on
a _team_. Well, I'm better than dirt -- well, most kinds of
dirt. I mean, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff's
loaded with nutrients. I -- I can't compete with that stuff.
those are great ones, have a props, peace.
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Well, I'm better than dirt -- well, most kinds of
dirt. I mean, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff's
loaded with nutrients. I -- I can't compete with that stuff.
:laugh: that's genius comedy :laugh: who could think that up? the way he says it and everything :laugh:
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lol when homer manages that country western singer
label excutive: Hey are you the person their calling Colonell homer?
homer: Hey they dont call me The Colonell because im a big fat white guy in a suit...
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^^ :laugh:
when Homer is on disability working at home, he presses the button on the keyboard to release some kind of gas valve
and the scarecrow in the field opens up and sprays shit and all the crops dissappear
farmer: "Aw naw, the corn!...... Paul Newman's gonna have my legs broke :-\"
:laugh: LMAO
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I moved here from canada and they think im slow, eh
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i was watchin an episode lass nite, where Homer trickz Mr. Burns into givin the company to Homer
and then Smithers n Burns go on vacation...Burns sayz sumthin n Smithers goes to ask the merchant for drugs; then the merchant goes:
"DRUGS?!?! Everything here made from drugs; banana made from drugs; (and this part cracked me up) monkey made from drugs"
lol
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Homer: ''You're free to watch TV''
Bart: ''I don't want to watch TV. TV sucks.''
Homer (Through gritted teeth): ''I know you're angry right now, so I'll pretend I didn't hear that.''
Homer: ''I don't know Marge - trying is the first step towards failure.''
Homer: ''Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.''
Postal Worker: ''Uh, okay Mr. Burns. What's your first name?''
Homer: ''I....don't know.....great plan Bart!''
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one of the best quotes ever, i think its after Apu gets married, and everyone is in the Garden table.
Homer stands up to make a toast:"If i could just say a few words, I'd be a much better public speaker"
then bart starts laughin his head off. i still laugh at that when i think about it. anyone else in here prefer Futurama to Simpsons?
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one of the best quotes ever, i think its after Apu gets married, and everyone is in the Garden table.
Homer stands up to make a toast:"If i could just say a few words, I'd be a much better public speaker"
then bart starts laughin his head off. i still laugh at that when i think about it. anyone else in here prefer Futurama to Simpsons?
I prefer Futurama to around Season 10 and onwards of ''The Simpsons''...but it can't mess with the classics.
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They have the internet on computers now
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barney : homer fell on aerosmith lol
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Marge: Homer those pills arn't for you.
Homer: Common Marge, maybe I'm just not getting enough (reads label) estrogen.
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Homer - "Sports, it's not about winning or losing, its how drunk you get!"
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bart: merry christmas suckers!
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oh boy buffalo testicales
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Moe: Hi my names Moe, or as the ladies like to call me as "hey you behind the bushes"... :D
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moe gets a grilling machine and says"it can cook a buffalo in 60 seconds"
then homer moans sayin "60 seconds, but i want 1 now"
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Homer-"Hello, My name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me". Okay, Mr. Burns, whats your first name? "I Don't Know"
Homer- "I'm not gay but I'll learn".
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in the episode becomes a genius:
homer tryna convince marge to be a serogate mother; he goes: come on marge! itz uter-US, not uter-U
and then later on: who wants to come with me to the library tomorrow? as u can see, i no longer say libary or tomorrie
lol
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I choo choose you!
Was a Valentine that Ralph gave Lisa that had a train on it.
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Bart joins the Junior Campers and the bullies see him with his uniform and Nelson takes it away
Nelson: "Hey look everybody... Campers Pampers" :laugh:
Bullies: "Keep away! Keep away!"
Bart: "Whatever ::) "
Jimbo: "You better pretend like you want these back"
Bullies: "Keep away! Keep away!"
I was LMAO :laugh:
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http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season4/exit7.mp3
Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: [thinking] Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Homer: [thinking] Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: [thinking] My God! He <is> coming onto me!
Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. [chuckles then winks]
Homer: [thinking] Aaaaaagh!
[aloud]
Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!
[This funnier with the visual]
Homer: I don't even know why they elected me unioun president.
Marge: Because they know your the best man for the job.
Homer: Yeah your right. Guys are always patting my bald head for luck, pinching my belly to hear my girlish laugh.
Marge: Hmm that doesn't sound like they like you at all.
Homer: You know I think you're right. First thing tomorrow morning I'm gonna punch Lenny in the back of the head.
the next morning Lenny is drinking coffee and homer punches him.
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Episode with homer and mindy
Homer: Ohhh [crys]
Mindy: whats a matter
Homer: were guna have sex tonight
Mindy: well we dont have too
Homer: but the cookie told me so
Mindy: cookies arent always right
Homer: but their sooo sweet
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Homer - "3 simple words...I..am..Gay"
Marge - "For the last time i am not putting that in there!"
Not really the funnies or my favourite as a lot of the classics hav been posted. Oh yeh overseer the only one i can think of tht sounds a lil like urs is The halloween special where they tryin 2 find out whos the witch n BArt goes
"LIsa's the witch!! Look shes corrupting my mind.....must....drop......pantaloons!"
Lisa.."BART!!"
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there's too much... but I always enjoy when Homer says "It's funny 'cause it's true"... Simpsons is the greatest tv-show ever made, no other show is even close...
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Ralph goes flying through the simpsons home window....... and ralph goes "I'm a Brick"
LMAO laughing for days......
or Ralph on the island with the kids when they are stuck and he eats the berries "It taste like Burning"
LMAO.... fuckin ralph is classic....
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Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
----
Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
----
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.
LMAO some classic homer shit
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lol, i juss remembered this one.
whenHomer is thinkin bout sumthin, then he picturez himself in the devil suit and goes "I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer" in a song format lol.
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[After Bart and Lisa have become best friends]
Groundskeeper Willie: It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!
Principal Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.
Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life!
[After Homer decides not to go to church]
Marge: I have a responsibility to raise these children right and, unless you change, I'll have to tell them their father is... well, wicked.
Homer: [to Lisa and Bart] Kids, let me tell you about another so-called wicked guy. He had long hair, and some wild ideas, and he didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was... I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too
Homer: Marge, you know who I'm talking about! He used to drive that blue car.
Cliff Huxtable: Kids, this is your Grandpa Murphy.
Rudy Huxtable: But we've got three grandpas already.
Cliff Huxtable: This one's the famous jazz musician.
Rudy Huxtable: Ah, they all are.
Cliff Huxtable: Oh,oh-oh! You see, the kids these days, they listen to the rap music, which gives them the brain damage. With the hippin' and the hoppin' and the bippin' and the boppin', they don't know what the jazz is all about. Y'see, jazz is like Jello pudding... no, that's not it. Jazz is like Kodak film... no, that's not right neither. I've got it, jazz is like the new Coke - it'll be around forever.
Homer: Lisa, all you need is a little help from your dad.
Lisa: Well, we're supposed to do this without parental help.
Homer: Sweetie, that's orphan talk.
Marge: Homer! That side of bacon was for my bridge game tonight!
Homer: Marge, if you don't mind, I'm a little busy right now achieving financial independence.
Marge: With cans of grease?
Homer: [sarcastically] No! Through savings and wise investment. Of course with grease.
Homer: Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
Homer: [sounding like Al Pocino] In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.
Marge: Homey, I'd like you to do something for me.
Homer: You name it.
Marge: I want you to give up beer for a month.
Homer: You got it. No deer for a month.
Marge: Did you say beer, or deer?
Homer: .... Deer.
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Skinner: This time mothers gone 2 far, shes put cardboard over her half of the television, the other night we watched man with half a face...i didnt even know he had a problem!!!!
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lol reading these has brought back sum memories
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The one I use all the time is: "Booooo---urrrrns!"
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i dunno about 1 line from that show bcuz there is way to many... anyways, to me the funniest thing ive ever seen inthe simpsons is when theyre hiding from sideshow bob abd they become the thompsons.. the part when those 2 interogaters or whatever u want to call them and talking to homer "when i say hello mr.thompson you say hello" "sure no problem" . just that whole scene has me rollin everytime i see it... lol how stressed out those 2 guys get and homer is just sittin there lol and then later on when sideshow bob steps on all those fukcin rakes lol... that whole episode is hillarious
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After Homer inquires about a boudoir photography session
Homer: Uh, you're not going to ask me to pose nude, are you?
Photographer: Well, yes, unless you have some issues with revealing your body.
Homer: Well, I don't but the block association seems to. They wanted a *traditional* Santa Claus.
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thought id up this
Homer: I know how ya feel boy, this one time when I was a kid, I wanted a catchers mitt soo bad and my dad wouldn't get me one. so I held my breath until I passed out and hit my head on a coffee table, the doctor said I might have brain damage....
Bart: Dad whats the point of this story?
Homer: I like stories
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the ending of the one tonight was funny
Bart: ahhh nelson, i'll always remember the week we were best friends
Nelson: HA HA! I touched your heart!
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"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.'" -Homer Simpson
LMAO! classic Simpsons there. Too hard to name one quote too many memeroble ones
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Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?
[Moe is making a fortune from Homer's drink recipe]
Marge: Well, Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.
Homer: Ooh, look at me. I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane.
[walks out, slams door, then sticks head back in]
Homer: Oh, by the way: I was being sarcastic.
Marge: Well, duh.
;D
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mr plow episode
homer: mr plow thats my name! that name again is mr plow!
don't remember this one
homer: SAXAMAPHOOOOOOONE! SAXXAAAMAAAAPHOOOOOOOOOOONE!
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- That episode in which Homer needs heart surgery, lying in his hospital bed next to Flanders:
Flanders: Homer if I could Give you my Heart I would...
Homer: Shutup Flanders...
- The one where Springfield is burglarized and Homer gets Lisa a Jug to replace her stolen Sax, just the way he started dancing and laughing in that scene gets me everytime! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqlfTEeIrb8
- Homer going to College to earn his Nuclear Degree. The Professor in the lecture hall breaks the ice by saying "I see a lot of new faces, but as they say "out with the old and in with the new-tron'.
Everyone but homer laughs. Then the Professor drops his papers and Homer busts out hysterically.
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im just guessing the lines here so if anyone can clarify these it would be great! but anyways i was thinkin of this scene lastnight and i just busted out laughing and my siblings was like WTF!....lol....anyways that scene was funny! it was the episode where all the teachers go on strike and they springfield residents have to substitute.
the old man with a bald head and grey beard is standing in front of the class holding a beating stick getting ready to to teach and he talking to the students....
old man (unsure of name) : "talking out of line! Thats A Paddlin! passing letters! Thats A Paddlin! Chewing Gum in class!......Oh You Better Believe Thats A Paddlin!"
damn! that shit had me rolling! ;D
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hans moleman is the funniest character
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im just guessing the lines here so if anyone can clarify these it would be great! but anyways i was thinkin of this scene lastnight and i just busted out laughing and my siblings was like WTF!....lol....anyways that scene was funny! it was the episode where all the teachers go on strike and they springfield residents have to substitute.
the old man with a bald head and grey beard is standing in front of the class holding a beating stick getting ready to to teach and he talking to the students....
old man (unsure of name) : "talking out of line! Thats A Paddlin! passing letters! Thats A Paddlin! Chewing Gum in class!......Oh You Better Believe Thats A Paddlin!"
damn! that shit had me rolling! ;D
It goes...
Talking out of turn...that's a paddling. Looking out the window...that's a paddling. Staring at my sandals...that's a paddling. Paddling the school canoe...ooh, you better believe that's a paddling.
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Grandpa: I fell eight thousand feet onto a pile of jagged rocks. Of course, folks were tougher in those days. I was jitterbugging that very night.
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Homer uses a map and directions to duck out of work early. he encounters a giant spider.
Homer [Reading]: To avoid the spiders curse, simply quote a Bible verse. Though shall not [pause]... [throws a rock at the sipider]
Frink in the past: I beilieve that computers will be so big and so expensive that only the 5 richest kings of Europe will be able to afford them.
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After watching Barney's film about how is life has been ruined.
Homer: I'll never drink alcohol again.
Vendor: Cold beer here!
Homer: I'll take ten.
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Mr. Burns: Ahh. 60 watts? What do you think this is, a tanning salon?
Homer: Look at those phonies, sucking up to Bush.
[Santa's Little Helper runs off after them]
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush. [laughs]
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer: the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D'oh!
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"Release The Hounds" - Mr. Burns
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Homer: Look at those phonies, sucking up to Bush.
[Santa's Little Helper runs off after them]
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush. [laughs]
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer: the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D'oh!
lmao! don't think i've seen this episode. need to the get the box set or something
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Homer: Look at those phonies, sucking up to Bush.
[Santa's Little Helper runs off after them]
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush. [laughs]
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer: the cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D'oh!
lmao! don't think i've seen this episode. need to the get the box set or something
You haven't seen the one with President Bush (Sr.)? :o
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SO many classics it's hard to choose...
The one where Bart and Todd (or maybe Rod) Flanders enter a golf tournament... they both see the sign and Todd says "Wow, 1st place - 50 Dollars!" Then Bart says "Wow, free balloon for signing up". CLASSIC Simpsons....
When Bart gets the all syrup squishy and joins the cub scouts, he is trying to weasel out of it but Marge tells him he needs to be responsible for his actions...Homer comes in and says " But Marge weaseling out of things is good for the boy. It's what separates us from the animals...........well, all of them except the weasel."
The Simpsons get stranded in the forest and Bart and Homer go off to find food and help... Bart is kind of scared so Homer explains that all the woodland creatures are "more scared of us than we are of them" and that "you have to remember not to show any fear because the animals can smell fear, so you have to be brave" (or some shit) Then they hear a rattlesnake and Bart stops in his tracks and says " I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid" Homer screams, starts taking off and says "Run you fool!"
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here's a few i'll always remember
http://www.youtube.com/v/EVR91_iNMTk
http://www.youtube.com/v/dEyt8qqaWD8
http://www.youtube.com/v/83vL7DdXUQ0
http://www.youtube.com/v/b8OuReTvvkE
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http://www.youtube.com/v/dEyt8qqaWD8
never seen that 1 before, that was actually really good.
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- Homer going to College to earn his Nuclear Degree. The Professor in the lecture hall breaks the ice by saying "I see a lot of new faces, but as they say "out with the old and in with the new-tron'.
Everyone but homer laughs. Then the Professor drops his papers and Homer busts out hysterically.
i believe it is:
"out with the old, in with the Nucleus"
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- Homer going to College to earn his Nuclear Degree. The Professor in the lecture hall breaks the ice by saying "I see a lot of new faces, but as they say "out with the old and in with the new-tron'.
Everyone but homer laughs. Then the Professor drops his papers and Homer busts out hysterically.
i believe it is:
"out with the old, in with the Nucleus"
LOL yeah that was the line! All the younger kids got it except Homer, then no one but Homer bursts out laughing so insanely when the professor accidentally drops his sheets of paper
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(At an old-fashioned market)
Vendor: Babies! I got babies!
Homer: Hey, these aren't babies, these are just puppies wrapped in cloth!
Vendor: I see you know your babies!
ah, the simpsons will never be topped.
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Skinner's mother to Skinner after Edna said she didn't want to marry him or Comic Book Guy:
you look like a Malaysian transexual
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http://www.youtube.com/v/EVR91_iNMTk
this one is classic!!! LMAO
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Homer sees a sign that says "Gym"
Homer:"Gyum", what's a "gyum"? [walks into gym] Oh, a "gyum".
During young Homer's first day of school
Abe: Homer you're as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it.
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monorail episode
Leonard Nimoy: A solar eclipse....the cosmic ballet goes on.
Man: Does anyone wanna switch seats?
stonecutters episode
Homer: i know! we'll get a bunch of monkies dress em up and make em re-enact the civil war
Lisa: dad, that won't help anyone
Homer: couldnt hurt...unless the monkies started hurting people...which they almost certainly would
Homer: lenny and carl are never around on wednesdays, im gonna follow them and see where they go
Marge: homer i don't want you stalking people again
Homer: alright...well see ya later, im going out to....stalk....lenny and carl
cat burgler episode
Homer: well it seems the cat has been caught by the very person who was trying to catch him
Skinner: how ironic
Cat Burglar: i may have stolen all your prized posessions, but your town has stolen my heart
Man: oh hes so charming
Barney: lets let him go
Wiggum: well i hate to interrupt this little love in, but this man broke the law, and when you break the law around here you go to jail
Mayor Quimbey: er uh that reminds me, here is your monthly kick back (hands him sack of money)
Wiggum: uh you couldn't have picked a worst time
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http://www.youtube.com/v/dnisoR_xb3k
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There is that one episode where Grandpa Simpson thinks of an old story that happened to him where they were on a submarine and JFK was standing on top saying "Ich bin ein Berliner!" and Grandpa and the rest were like "He´s a nazi, break his legs." lol
No clue what episode this was from but that was fucking funny.
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the episode where Bart scores 100 and Marge throws him a party:
Ralph Wiggum: Bart's my bestest boyfriend
lmao
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http://www.youtube.com/v/ns548tosD58
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^That wasn't even in English and it was funny. :D
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^That wasn't even in English and it was funny. :D
LOL i didnt check the sound of it before i post it lol
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Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star
Grandpa Simpson: The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire. Naturally, we blamed the Irish. We hanged more 'n a few
Marge; Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie?
Grandpa: I sure hope so...
Grampa: Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" 'cause that Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles...
Martin: "Dickety"? Highly dubious.
Grandpa: What are you cacklin' at, fatty?! Too much pie, that's your problem
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Homer: Hello, Police? Are you sitting down? Good! I wish to report a
robbery.
Wiggum: [bored] A robbery, right. Thanks for the report. [hangs up]
That's _another_ one, Lou...723 Evergreen Terrace.
[Looks at a map with the robbery locations marked on it]
Well, there doesn't seem to be any pattern yet, but if I take
this one and move it here...and I move these over here...hello!
It _almost_ looks like an arrow!
Lou: Hey, look, Chief: it's pointing right at this police station.
Wiggum: Let's get out of here!
Homer: So I said to him, "Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we
got here. And as for your Grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed
off like that!"
Lisa: Dad, don't you see you're abusing your power like all vigilantes?
I mean, if you're the police, who will police the police?
Homer: I dunno. Coast Guard?
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^^^LMAo classic
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when the simpsons mimic movies it's always classic
pulp fiction
http://www.youtube.com/v/dejFLnjnp4s
http://www.youtube.com/v/iyvrgtdNNCE
http://www.youtube.com/v/6StiQSktpUo
http://www.youtube.com/v/OQKkA94PwJQ
http://www.youtube.com/v/PHdjcldasqA
the shining
http://www.youtube.com/v/iEsbLxgOD44
the godfather
http://www.youtube.com/v/T9LpGPxQgRE
http://www.youtube.com/v/Qi8VJQGB1K0
http://www.youtube.com/v/bITxX9zve-Y
http://www.youtube.com/v/mjulUMlez4Y
goodfellas
http://www.youtube.com/v/WzHw2Kd0-cI
lord of the rings
http://www.youtube.com/v/ELszPTecovQ