This is really funny. If you don't laugh at this then you gotta be dead. Now the shit it says about Eazy E, Pun, Big and Pac may be offensive but the rest is funny:
Another Day at Aftermath Records
[/b]
Eminem: Hey Dre, you wanted to see me?
Dre: Yeah, Marshall, listen. I been thinking, maybe you SHOULD tone down the anti-gay stuff in your lyrics.
Eminem: What, and cave into that PC bullshit? No way!
Dre: No it ain't that.
Eminem: Then why?
Dre: Well, Marshall, it's just too damn obvious that you're doing it out of denial. I mean, look at you! If you looked any gayer we'd have to call you Femminem. That bleach-blond George Clooney cut has got to be the most faggotty-looking hairdo I have ever seen...
(Suddenly Snoop Dogg walks in, his hair in Shirley Temple curls)
Snoop: 'Sup fellas?
Dre: ...uh, nevermind.
Snoop: Did I miss something? I was out smoking trees with Tha Eastsidaz. Yo Dre, I was kicking some fly lyrics while we was
smoking, check this out: Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yay/Snoop Dogg in the house with Dr. Dre/Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yigh/Snoop Dogg puffing on chocolate thai...
Dre: uh, Snoop, I think maybe the audience would like to hear, ya know, something new...
Snoop: Oh, OK, how's this: Uh, Once upon a time not long ago/When people puffed on chronic and lived life slow...
Dre: uh, that's alright Snoop, let's let Marshall here write all the lyrics from now on, OK?
Eminem: Yeah, I got some dope new lyrics for ya, Snoop: I'm Snoop Dogg, I like to have sex with animals/ And Santa Claus, and stuff
my ass with joystick that are analog/ And random orcs, plus I'd like to fuck a man of-the cloth...
Snoop: Yo, yo, YO! fuck that! Have you ever written a verse that didn't include references to bestiality and other assorted bizzarre sex practices?
Eminem: Um, let me try something else: I'm a weed fiend, I live for tommorrow's smoke/ Wake up, and then I check my horoscope/ My
sign is Taurus, which is kinda ironic/ Cause I like to have sex with cattle after smoking hydroponic...
Snoop: Damn man, I knew it!!! You CAN'T do a verse without talking about animal love.
(MC Ren enters, carrying Dre's bags)
Ren: Yo Dre, forreal, I want my own set on this tour! This is bullshit man!
Dre: Motherfucker, what are you gonna do, perform all them smash hits off "Ruthless 4 Life"? Or "The Villian In Black", yeah, that was a big seller. Man, shut the fuck up, unless you wanna go back to working at Denny's with your pal DJ Yella.
(Westside Connection enters now)
Cube: WESSYDE!!!
Dre: No, no, no, Cube, you can't say that anymore. It'll make people think we're restarting the coastal war.
Snoop: Yeah, now we go EASSYDE!!!
Cube: Why's that?
Snoop: The East Coast fans will think we're talking about them, and the West Coast fans will think we're talking about East LA! It's all good!
Cube: But what about the fans in West LA? No, I got a better idea. Mack 10, WC, from now on, we are the Neutral Side Connection! I'll go call Common and see if he wants to be on our next album...
Dre: I still don't know guys. I mean, I promised the fans that tonight we'd debut this awesome new song, but Snoop is too busy
rehashing old stuff from "Doggystyle" and Eminem can't write lyrics without talking about having relations with half the zoo...if we don't come up with new lyrics soon, I don't know if I can go on.
Eminem: Why don't you write them yourself, Dre?
(pause)
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dre: HAHAHA, ho ho, that was a good one, Marshall. But seriously, where we gonna get the lyrics!?!?
Eazy: Use the Force.
Dre: What the fuck?!?!?
(the ghost of Eazy-E appears to Dre)
Eazy: Use the motherfuckin' Force, motherfucker!
Dre: Eazy! But, I don't know no Force, Eazy!
Eazy: Oh...then, in that case, just go on the web and bite some lyrics from one of them internet rap boards.
Dre: Brilliant! Thank you Eazy!
Eazy: Yeah, don't motherfuckin' mention it, now I'm out before I miss my foursome with 2Pac, Biggie, and Big Pun.
Dre: They got golf in Heaven?
Eazy: Dre, if this was Heaven I'd be playing basketball, not motherfuckin' golf...
(Eazy fades out)
Dre: OK, fellas, I'm ready for tonight's show!
LATER ON, THE SHOW IS ABOUT TO END...
Dre: OK folks, I'm about to debut my new song, I call it, uh, "Str8 Gangsta Shiznitz Off Da Heezy"...
disillusioned Elvis fans couldn't take out the kingpin and I
bell for the first round, a bout to the death sounds the dinner chime
bound to win it by leaps of a dominatrix fantasy's long jump
no fallbacks, sandpit's a saarlac, rip bizarre cats on a hunch
got esmerelda piggy-backing, off duty cops in plainclothes
broadcasting a god-smashing ultimatum wrought when brains glow...
fan in the crowd: Wow, Dre is getting real deep now!
another fan: yeah, he'll surely be the man to lead Hip-Hop into the next millenium...
THE END
Another Day at Aftermath Records
[/b]
Eminem: Why don't you write them yourself, Dre?
(pause)
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!
This is really funny. If you don't laugh at this then you gotta be dead. Now the shit it says about Eazy E, Pun, Big and Pac may be offensive but the rest is funny:
Another Day at Aftermath Records
[/b]
Eminem: Hey Dre, you wanted to see me?
Dre: Yeah, Marshall, listen. I been thinking, maybe you SHOULD tone down the anti-gay stuff in your lyrics.
Eminem: What, and cave into that PC bullshit? No way!
Dre: No it ain't that.
Eminem: Then why?
Dre: Well, Marshall, it's just too damn obvious that you're doing it out of denial. I mean, look at you! If you looked any gayer we'd have to call you Femminem. That bleach-blond George Clooney cut has got to be the most faggotty-looking hairdo I have ever seen...
(Suddenly Snoop Dogg walks in, his hair in Shirley Temple curls)
Snoop: 'Sup fellas?
Dre: ...uh, nevermind.
Snoop: Did I miss something? I was out smoking trees with Tha Eastsidaz. Yo Dre, I was kicking some fly lyrics while we was
smoking, check this out: Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yay/Snoop Dogg in the house with Dr. Dre/Bow-wow-wow-yippie-yo-yippie-yigh/Snoop Dogg puffing on chocolate thai...
Dre: uh, Snoop, I think maybe the audience would like to hear, ya know, something new...
Snoop: Oh, OK, how's this: Uh, Once upon a time not long ago/When people puffed on chronic and lived life slow...
Dre: uh, that's alright Snoop, let's let Marshall here write all the lyrics from now on, OK?
Eminem: Yeah, I got some dope new lyrics for ya, Snoop: I'm Snoop Dogg, I like to have sex with animals/ And Santa Claus, and stuff
my ass with joystick that are analog/ And random orcs, plus I'd like to fuck a man of-the cloth...
Snoop: Yo, yo, YO! fuck that! Have you ever written a verse that didn't include references to bestiality and other assorted bizzarre sex practices?
Eminem: Um, let me try something else: I'm a weed fiend, I live for tommorrow's smoke/ Wake up, and then I check my horoscope/ My
sign is Taurus, which is kinda ironic/ Cause I like to have sex with cattle after smoking hydroponic...
Snoop: Damn man, I knew it!!! You CAN'T do a verse without talking about animal love.
(MC Ren enters, carrying Dre's bags)
Ren: Yo Dre, forreal, I want my own set on this tour! This is bullshit man!
Dre: Motherfucker, what are you gonna do, perform all them smash hits off "Ruthless 4 Life"? Or "The Villian In Black", yeah, that was a big seller. Man, shut the fuck up, unless you wanna go back to working at Denny's with your pal DJ Yella.
(Westside Connection enters now)
Cube: WESSYDE!!!
Dre: No, no, no, Cube, you can't say that anymore. It'll make people think we're restarting the coastal war.
Snoop: Yeah, now we go EASSYDE!!!
Cube: Why's that?
Snoop: The East Coast fans will think we're talking about them, and the West Coast fans will think we're talking about East LA! It's all good!
Cube: But what about the fans in West LA? No, I got a better idea. Mack 10, WC, from now on, we are the Neutral Side Connection! I'll go call Common and see if he wants to be on our next album...
Dre: I still don't know guys. I mean, I promised the fans that tonight we'd debut this awesome new song, but Snoop is too busy
rehashing old stuff from "Doggystyle" and Eminem can't write lyrics without talking about having relations with half the zoo...if we don't come up with new lyrics soon, I don't know if I can go on.
Eminem: Why don't you write them yourself, Dre?
(pause)
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dre: HAHAHA, ho ho, that was a good one, Marshall. But seriously, where we gonna get the lyrics!?!?
Eazy: Use the Force.
Dre: What the fuck?!?!?
(the ghost of Eazy-E appears to Dre)
Eazy: Use the motherfuckin' Force, motherfucker!
Dre: Eazy! But, I don't know no Force, Eazy!
Eazy: Oh...then, in that case, just go on the web and bite some lyrics from one of them internet rap boards.
Dre: Brilliant! Thank you Eazy!
Eazy: Yeah, don't motherfuckin' mention it, now I'm out before I miss my foursome with 2Pac, Biggie, and Big Pun.
Dre: They got golf in Heaven?
Eazy: Dre, if this was Heaven I'd be playing basketball, not motherfuckin' golf...
(Eazy fades out)
Dre: OK, fellas, I'm ready for tonight's show!
LATER ON, THE SHOW IS ABOUT TO END...
Dre: OK folks, I'm about to debut my new song, I call it, uh, "Str8 Gangsta Shiznitz Off Da Heezy"...
disillusioned Elvis fans couldn't take out the kingpin and I
bell for the first round, a bout to the death sounds the dinner chime
bound to win it by leaps of a dominatrix fantasy's long jump
no fallbacks, sandpit's a saarlac, rip bizarre cats on a hunch
got esmerelda piggy-backing, off duty cops in plainclothes
broadcasting a god-smashing ultimatum wrought when brains glow...
fan in the crowd: Wow, Dre is getting real deep now!
another fan: yeah, he'll surely be the man to lead Hip-Hop into the next millenium...
THE END
DOGG. That was some funny shit!!!!!!!!!