Failing the Frank Lampard litmus test

[Elano]

Frank Lampard is football’s equivalent of litmus paper. Do you recall the way it turned red or blue in chemistry lessons, according to whether a substance was acidic or alkaline? Well, introduce Lampard’s name into a conversation about the game and comparable indicators appear. You find out who knows and who doesn’t.

Those who know – and the list includes the odd Champions League winner such as Fabio Capello, José Mourinho and Rafael BenÍtez – will talk of his goals from midfield, his workrate, his range of passing, his stamina, his willingness to put his reputation on the line and his presence at the heart of a successful Chelsea team. Those who don’t will say he is fat or can’t take penalties, or gloss over each achievement in search of a negative. They will talk against all logic to justify their argument as just about every way of quantifying a football match suggests Lampard is exceptional.

Against Liverpool on Wednesday he went above and beyond. By electing to take, and scoring, a vital penalty in his first game back since the death of his mother, Pat, Lampard became the hero of the night. It was a moment of exquisite bravery in a sporting context, one of the finest examples I have seen, and I stated it. And then, having dipped the litmus paper, the colour began to change.

Below, I have answered a selection of the posts sent to Times Online in disagreement, of which there were many. Why does Lampard polarise opinion in this way? I have no idea. Perhaps our Big Brother culture has created a need for pantomime villains and Lampard does the job for football. I do know, though, that after Wednesday I am more convinced than ever that if you hate Lampard, you don’t know what you’re watching.


Good God, talk about hype. How many people get on with their jobs in spite of worse personal hardship? I wonder if you would have called this a career-defining moment if he hadn’t played for West Ham United?
Jem, London

It was a well-taken penalty, but hardly a Johnnie Wilkinson moment. Calm down, mate.
Simon, London

So we start with Jem, from London, who demonstrates his vast knowledge of football in the capital by claiming that a West Ham supporter would instantly have allegiance to Lampard, when anyone who has taken so much as a passing interest would know that Lampard is despised at Upton Park and has been since 2001. Jem probably thinks praise for Paul Ince at Milton Keynes Dons stems from an East London bias, too. Simon, meanwhile, shows his grasp of an array of sports by failing to spell Jonny Wilkinson’s name correctly.

I’m sure Lampard is having a hard time, but at least he has talent, money and adulation. All he had to do was play football.
Chris, Worthing

Ah, yes. The old “a beloved member of my family has snuffed it but at least I’m famous and worth a few bob” argument, which is always such a comfort to the bereaved. Makes one wonder why Mohamed Al Fayed makes all that fuss about Dodi, doesn’t it?

Once again the overpaid prima donnas that constitute Premier League footballers are being held in the same vein as our brave troops. Disgusting!
Phil, Malton

You’ve got to love the irony. As thousands of troops dodge gunfire, mortar and kidnap in Iraq, brave Lampard steps forth to kick a ball, inflated with air, into a net.
Kv, London

Irony, indeed. This is a familiar theme: projection. Phil and Kv have shot up the Lampard litmus scale by projecting their prejudices falsely on to a piece of writing. At no time was bravery mentioned in comparison to events beyond sport, and certainly not balanced against war. No doubt Phil and Kv wish it had been because then their outrage would have a logical basis.

“Among the gutsiest acts from any athlete, across many decades.” Mmm, really? Greg Louganis in 1988? How about winning gold with a collapsed lung like Grant Hackett did? Wayne Shelford of the All Blacks had his scrotum ripped off, called the doctor over, had it sewed up and kept playing. What about Bert Trautmann?
Chads, London

Trautmann, the Manchester City goalkeeper, broke his neck with 15 minutes to go in the 1956 FA Cup Final, but did not know this until undergoing an X-ray three days later. He played on as there were no substitutes, but almost certainly, had the trainer told him: “Stone me, Bert, you’ve broken your neck,” City would have finished with ten men. Also note how Chads had to trawl back through 52 years of football history to find a comparative tale. And then missed the point by making it one of personal injury, which is completely different to emotional strain. Indeed, each one of the figures cited overcame a physical, not emotional, challenge. Louganis, concussed, won an Olympic gold medal for diving but, like Hackett’s swimming gold with a collapsed lung, nobody would have blamed him had he not finished the competition. Bloodied warriors such as Shelford, the All Blacks captain, are instantly cast as heroes and in that have nothing to lose once through the pain barrier. Lampard confronted an immense negative if he missed: the cost of failure to his club, plus the inescapable feeling that he had let people down at a time when he must already have been feeling vulnerable. He would never have been allowed to forget it. Not the same at all.

Pathetic obsession with Lampard. Many athletes perform immediately after a family bereavement. Wes Brown, the Manchester United defender, did in February. No fuss, just simple dignity. Thousands of people across this nation lose their nearest and dearest and go straight back to work.
John Fradley, Newcastle-under-Lyme

People all over the world will be returning to much tougher professions this week after losing a parent and they will not be hailed as some kind of hero for just getting on with their jobs. Lampard remains nothing more than a vastly overrated, one-dimensional footballer.
Matthew Stevens, London

Brown played in the Manchester derby three days after his father died. Lampard did not feel capable for a week after the death of his mother. Brown’s dedication was equally admirable, but people handle grief in different ways. Actually, as footballers do a bit more than play matches, Lampard got on with his job the day he reported for training, so what he did on Wednesday night by taking the penalty was to invite pressure far beyond the ordinary, certainly beyond that experienced during a routine day at the office. Had Lampard missed, as he did during the shoot-out with Portugal at the World Cup in 2006, it would have been headline news and he would never have lived it down. Don’t believe me? Read on.

It is unfair to use Lampard’s penalty to mark those who still don’t rate him as being unjustified or heartless. We feel let down that he has never shown that character for England. One penalty can’t change that.
Amit, London

Bit of a shame that he couldn’t have done it, not even once, when it really counted in the real football competition (the World Cup).
Wayne, Liverpool

To make his reasoning work, noted England supporter Amit has conveniently omitted the penalty Lampard scored under great pressure against Croatia in November. As he cannot recall events from five months ago, it is no surprise he has similarly forgotten the two player-of-the-year awards Lampard won from England fans in 2004 and 2005. Wayne believes the World Cup to be the only real competition, so no doubt remains silent when fellow Liverpudlians sing about winning the meaningless European Cup five times. Not to mention all those worthless league titles.

And now a round-up of the illogical, the insane, and the plain wrong.

When my dad died 39 years ago, I received one week compassionate leave from the Royal Navy and returned to boiler room watch-keeping duty on £22 a week.
James Archer, Portugal

James, therefore, had more time off than Lampard. It is hardly football’s fault that Royal Navy pay was lousy in 1969, either.

Lampard scored a penalty, big deal. Chances are about 50/50. If he scored a hat-trick from open play your praise may have been justified.
Denise, London

Welcome to Denise’s world. No praise for anybody unless they score a hat-trick from open play. Family bereavement, I presume, is optional. I don’t think this litmus can record Denise’s reading.

Disgraceful reporting. Lampard was not at his best and should have been taken off early in the second half.
Paul, London

And here we may have cracked it. This is my theory. It is hay fever season and some of those medications are really strong. They won’t let you drive or operate heavy machinery, so maybe other judgments are impaired, too. Hey, maybe half the country is on hay fever tablets. It would certainly explain a few things.

[wilz]

That reporter is a dick. Saying someone has an invalid point on the basis that they can't spell. i think the reporter should get off lampards nuts.

I think Lampard is a good player and doesn't deserve all the stick he gets. but that guy deserves a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

[KURUPTION-81]

Didnt read it all but Lampard is the perfect example of the media over hyping a player just because there english.

He is a good player but he isnt even chelsea's best midfielder Essien and Ballack are both better than him.

[Lil White Azz]

Lampard is the perfect example of the media over hyping a player just because there english.

He is a good player but he isnt even chelsea's best midfielder Essien and Ballack are both better than him.

[wilz]

^^^^^very true.

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

Lampard is the perfect example of the media over hyping a player just because there english.

He is a good player but he isnt even chelsea's best midfielder Essien and Ballack are both better than him.

Yup.

[bez]

I dont see how Essien or Ballack are better than him. Look at Lampards goals and assists over the last few seasons!

[Elano]

He is a good player but he isnt even chelsea's best midfielder Essien and Ballack are both better than him.

Ballack is not better...

[Invincible]

He is a good player but he isnt even chelsea's best midfielder Essien and Ballack are both better than him.

Ballack is not better...

He was when he was playing for Leverkusen. These days I'm not so sure. He can't hack it in the Premier League.

[sharjiel]

Petit > Lampard








Arsenal > Chelski

[bez]

Petit > Lampard








Arsenal > Chelski

Different type of players. Its like comparing Jens Lehman and Thierry Henry!

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

He is a good player but he isnt even chelsea's best midfielder Essien and Ballack are both better than him.

Ballack is not better...

Yes he is.

[wilz]

i think if you went to all the club mangers in europe the majority would take the Germany captain over lampard