Time 4 Some Action

[Jimmy Cash2120]

bringing that, bringing that, bringing that G shit
knock you off your feet shit, leave you in the street shit
leave you in a deep ditch if you try to creep, kid
peeped it, can’t speak it
speeches leave you speechless
dub CC got some raw in it’s nose
I’m poppin these hoes
yeah, females get hit in jaw with bows
I ain’t from the south but I like to get it crunk
a fifth to the dome and I still ain’t drunk
but I’m smoked off that skunk, loaded pump in the trunk
stunk like a dump when they found your body slumped
get amped off that real shit
visualize a gun to your side, I pull the trigger, make you feel this
death is cold and dark
I can’t see with no soul or heart
I feel like I’m getting pulled apart
but it’s better then them niggas gettin sold for parts
sorry, ma, but I closed my hart

[bez]

it was ok, a bit basic but still ok!

[Jimmy Cash2120]

it was ok, a bit basic but still ok!

i try to keep it basic with heavy imagery and getting some feeling across
i find it reads better/ sounds better when you don't have the crazy complex rhyme scheam

[bez]

no, you can just tell that you have only just started writing rhymes, like in the last year or so.

I started off like that, writing what I thought was dope but when you look back it was quite awful.  Just keep at it. 

[Jimmy Cash2120]

no, you can just tell that you have only just started writing rhymes, like in the last year or so.

I started off like that, writing what I thought was dope but when you look back it was quite awful.  Just keep at it. 

fuck yopu bez, i'm Koncept from wcc like 2 years ago
i've been rhymin since like 99

[bez]

no, you can just tell that you have only just started writing rhymes, like in the last year or so.

I started off like that, writing what I thought was dope but when you look back it was quite awful.  Just keep at it. 

fuck yopu bez, i'm Koncept from wcc like 2 years ago
i've been rhymin since like 99

Oh shit!

[da_notorious_mack]

i wuz feeling it..dont conform homie...

[hope glimmers]

forget about bez.. i think its good

[::Mr. Hahn::]

no, you can just tell that you have only just started writing rhymes, like in the last year or so.

I started off like that, writing what I thought was dope but when you look back it was quite awful.  Just keep at it. 

Although i cannot do better. I agree with what you said. It sounds very basic, its similar sounds all the way through...just doesnt sound technical..

Good though. You post it up and ask for peoples opinions...dont tell people to fuck off otherwise dont post ur stuff up...