Julia Louis-Dreyfus; Jerome "Jerry" Seinfeld

[Jome]

hes not a nazi. hes a little bit excentric. most geniuses are..

NO SOUP FOR YOU! Come Back After 1 Year!




That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!

Jackie Chiles 




That's the realest ^

http://www.soupkitchenintl.com/rules.htm

 

[UAK]

Famous George Costanza quotes

    * "It's not you, it's me."
    * "Nobody ever says it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me."
    * "You're damn right it's me!"
    * "I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate, I've got it all!"
    * "I am speechless, I have no speech!"
    * "Why do I get pesto? Why do I think I'll like it? I keep trying to like it, like I have to like it. Everybody likes pesto. You walk into a restaurant, that's all you hear: pesto, pesto, pesto. Where was pesto ten years ago?"
    * "No, no, I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special."
    * "George is getting upset!"
    * "You're killing independent George!!"
    * "No one gives us the finger. We're Yankees!"
    * "My name is George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."
    * "You know, we're living in a society!"
    * "Lupus? Is it lupus?"
    * "Jerry, just remember: It's not a lie if you believe it."
    * "I've driven women to lesbianism before but never to a mental institution."
    * "My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, I was raised to give up. It's one of the few things I do well."
    * "So, anything to uh, nosh?"
    * "Alright, that's it for me, you've been great! Good night, everybody."
    * "I can't believe it! I'm a father! I did it! My boys can swim! I can do it! I can do it!"
    * "He's beboppin' and scattin' and I'm losing it!"
    * "You had to hop. You had to hop on the plane!!!"
    * "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!" (referring to his very flacid penis, when spotted nude)
    * "It's not my fault. Seinfeld can't drive! How hard is it to follow somebody?"
    * "The 'jerk store' called, and they're running out of you!"
    * "The life support machine called..."
    * "You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever coming to Houston, not as long as you bastards are running things!"
    * "Parking in the city is just like sex. Why should I pay for it when, if I apply myself, I might be able to get it for free?"
    * "I can't carry a pen, I'm afraid it'll puncture my scrotum."
    * "And so, without further ado, I give you... the candy lineup."
    * "If you take everything I've accomplished in my life and condense it down to one day, it looks decent!"


Chea!

[Teddy Roosevelt]

^^LOL

George Costanza: I'm 33 years old; I haven't outgrown the problems of puberty, I'm already facing the problems of old age. I completely skipped healthy adulthood. I went from having orgasms immediately, to taking forever. You could do your taxes in the time it takes me to have an orgasm. I never had a normal... medium orgasm.
Jerry: I never had a really good pickle.


Jerry : So were going to make the Post Office pay for my new stereo?
Kramer : It's just a write off for them.
Jerry : How is it a write off?
Kramer : They just write it off.
Jerry : Write it off what?
Kramer : Jerry all these big companies they write off everything
Jerry : You don't even know what a write off is.
Kramer : No. Do you?
Jerry : No. I don't.
Kramer : But they do and they are the ones writing it off.
Jerry : I want the last twenty seconds of my life back.