David Brent Quotes (From The Office - BBC Comedy)

There are limits to my comedy. There are things that Ill never laugh at. The handicapped. Because theres nothing funny about them. Or any deformity. Its like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go ooh, look at him, hes not able-bodied. I am, Im prejudiced.; Yeah, well, at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. Unless theyre not, its difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones.

If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked.

Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.

Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability.

Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots.

If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes - make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast

What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you doat work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts

People see me, and they see the suit, and they go: "youre not fooling anyone",they know Im rock and roll through and through. But you know that old thing, live fast, die young? Not my way. Live fast, sure, live too bloody fast sometimes, but die young? Die old. Thats the way- not orthodox, I dont live by "the rules" you know.

The reason I put "If its in you, Ill find it" is, if I waste good
time and money looking for it, and see its definitely not in you, I dont wanna be sued cos you havent got it, so, you know, not gonna get me on that.

Life is just a series of peaks and troughs. And you dont know whether youre in a trough until youre climbing out, or on a peak until youre coming down. And thats it you know, you never know whats round the corner. But its all good. If you want the rainbow, youve gotta put up with the rain.; Do you know which philosopher said that? Dolly Parton. And people say shes just a big pair of tits.

Unless theyre not, its difficult to tell with the wheelchair ones.

LOL. The Office is a class comedy. His show Meet Ricky Gervais was funny, taking the piss out of the less fortunate.

who is David Brent?

whats that quote bout ian botham

he says something like

i really look up to ian botham coz he isant afraid 2 say what he thinks.Bothamwould say thats what i think of ure selection policy, yeah ive smoked the odd dobbie, but fuck off now coz im walkin to john o groats withs some spastics.

Its something like that its well funny anyway.