My house almost caught fire

[Sikotic™]

So I'm sleepin dreaming of the bitch in my avatar n shit, right? I wake up to the smell of smoke, like dark black smoke. Seconds later the fire alarm goes off. So I'm rushing out of my room looking fo rthe source of the fire, hoping it's not a burning cross. I see that there are flames coming out of the stove.

My instinct was to get the fire exstinguisher, but what if that's potentially dinner that I could salvage? So I changed my mind and decided to brave the flames and rescue whatever was being cooked. I try to pull the pan out, but it won't move. It's caught in there. I'm not gonna pull the shit out because it could be caught on a gas line and that mistake would be the end of Sikotic.

So I remove a couple racks in the stove, and fine this metal thang that the pan is stuck to. I put my head in the fuckin over, which was at 325 degrees at this point, just so I can unhook it, which burned the shit outta my knuckles.

I finally got the pan out and whatever the food was, it's torched. The funny thing is, nobody was home. My mom who fixed the food left. Now I dunno, but I'm noticing a trend here. Yesterday, I ate the food my mom prepared, and bit into a gang of glass, cutting my tongue and gums. Now today, I wake up to a fuckin crematory, which my mom created. I don't wanna think the unthinkable, but maybe she is trying to kill my ass.

[Raspass]

What was she cooking ?

[Sanford - V. President of the Dangerous Crew Movement]

final destination(the movie).

[Sikotic™]

I don't even know what she was cooking. It was burnt all the way through.

[jeromechickenbone]

nigga you need to write a book.  And yes you need to check if your parents recently took out a life insurance policy on your ass.  You might want to get somebody else to start your car in the mornin.

So I'm rushing out of my room looking fo rthe source of the fire, hoping it's not a burning cross.

LMAO!

[Raspass]

Well maybe she forgot about it, but you better interrogate her about the glass in your food.

[Teddy Roosevelt]

Wholy fuck!

So I'm rushing out of my room looking fo rthe source of the fire, hoping it's not a burning cross.

LOL.

My instinct was to get the fire exstinguisher, but what if that's potentially dinner that I could salvage?

LOL. Risking your house for a potential meal. Quite the mindset.

So I remove a couple racks in the stove, and fine this metal thang that the pan is stuck to. I put my head in the fuckin over, which was at 325 degrees at this point, just so I can unhook it, which burned the shit outta my knuckles.

Just tell people you got it from beating the shit outta someone.

My mom who fixed the food left. Now I dunno, but I'm noticing a trend here. Yesterday, I ate the food my mom prepared, and bit into a gang of glass, cutting my tongue and gums. Now today, I wake up to a fuckin crematory, which my mom created. I don't wanna think the unthinkable, but maybe she is trying to kill my ass.

Some weird shit is going down. If we don't here from you in a week, I'm calling the cops.

[Sikotic™]

nigga you need to write a book.  And yes you need to check if your parents recently took out a life insurance policy on your ass.  You might want to get somebody else to start your car in the mornin.

I got a policy on me, that's the problem If I know for sure they're trying to kill me, I'ma put the policy in someone elses name so that I get the last laugh. I didn't even think about the car 

Well maybe she forgot about it, but you better interrogate her about the glass in your food.

She denied it. She claimed she forgot about the food too. Very suspicious shit goin on round here. Anyone know a good private investigator?

[J Bananas]

"your moms'll set that ass up properly gassed up"

thats all i was thinkin

[Raspass]

nigga you need to write a book.  And yes you need to check if your parents recently took out a life insurance policy on your ass.  You might want to get somebody else to start your car in the mornin.

I got a policy on me, that's the problem If I know for sure they're trying to kill me, I'ma put the policy in someone elses name so that I get the last laugh. I didn't even think about the car 

Well maybe she forgot about it, but you better interrogate her about the glass in your food.

She denied it. She claimed she forgot about the food too. Very suspicious shit goin on round here. Anyone know a good private investigator?

Seer Columbo 

[Raspass]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truth_serum

You know what to do.

[Crack Tastic]

you might have to put her down. get one of these just incase.

[rik]

maybe this is her way of saying it's time for your ass to move out.

[Sikotic™]

maybe this is her way of saying it's time for your ass to move out.

Well in that case, the bitch is gonna have to kill me.

[WC Iz Active]

This is hilarious! At first with the glass eating and now with this house fire Im starting to get worried.  Lol at first I thought this Mom trying to kill you stuff was a joke now Im not so sure. You are a true warrior my friend, dodging glass in meals, waking up to a fire.  I wouldnt even blink If I were you right now.