my ex...its just fucking around...give feed back

[Nightmare]

(this is about a girl I know)

yo slut u didnt think i remembered u?
ur wrong bitch I cant forget about u
ur the one that drove me crazy
I den picked up some shit from Slim Shady
ya cheatin bitch
i aint got my revenge yet
but I have to say
ya da one that got me into this
my rhymin
my madness
i set myself up for a big fall
and ya think it was glamerous
im not going to let ya off the hook this time
cause im bustin out dis rhyme
its all for u
so u can say its dedicated ta u
i gave my love and divotion
but what do ya do?
u go with some other guy
that didnt do shit fo ya
behind my back
that mother fuckin guy is lucky
cause I would of beatin him in the face wid a bat
but enough wid dat
cause dis beef is wid u
ya lil bitch
u probably chickened out and shit wid the guy
probably just gave him a lil kiss
when i was probably at home gettin high
leavin me thinkin what to do
so i could still be wid u
but no
ya just turn ya back to me
i open up the door
and ya slam it at me
fuck ya amie
ya mother fuckin tight
tighter den a nuns pussy
just an all talk bitch
dat done have any tits
ya probably gunna get inplants
after ya listen to dis
ya probably like why is he like dis
what the fuck did i do to diserve this?
i bet u never knew i could qurse like dis
walk like dis
and talk like dis
now ya surprised
jealous cause I went to your friends
and now u cant even look into my eyes
am i really alien to ya
rippin up my notes
when I poor my heart and soul for ya

[not done yet but its just experimenting...give me some advice on what i should use and not...some good stuff i should keep and some that i shouldnt.]

[doggmastah]

No beef homie!
I believe tha flow is a little inconsistent. U should work that.
Expand yur verses and do it a little more complex. I believe it was too simple!

But i like yur style! Keep at it!
Peace!