Paper I Wrote Today For My English Class

[infinite59]

I spent alot of time on this.....Just wanted to give it more exposure so I feel like it was worth it.... so read and holla back if you got time...  Skim over it if you want.  I had to leave out the part about me converting to Islam a few weeks later.  Got to keep it politically correct, I guess.  Peace.



                    The Reality of the Open Road

     The date was January 20, 2001, I was 18 years old, and I had hit rock bottom.  My life was a black hole of embarrassing moments, one followed by another.  Stuck in a time lock, the world was my cell; I couldn’t shake the bars loose, or the shackles around my ankles.  I sought refuge in my journal, conjuring up poetry and short stories, to describe my angst-ridden state of misery.  I remember I had two x-girlfriends, I held very close to my heart, as if they were the only two people qualified to hear the inner appetites of my soul.  One of them was my girlfriend from my senior year, and the other, my first love from 3 years previous.  The latter, was the most compelling character.  She had left Missouri 3 years prior to live with her mother in Maryland.  Opening me up to overwhelming emotions of loss, and betrayal.  Many futile attempts had been made at retrieving my past relationships my x-girlfriends.  However, both of them had made a more logical decision with their lives, and moved on.  It was unrequited love.  But my underlying obsessions, had more to do with my miserable life, then it did winning back the favor of an old companion.  See, at this time I was living in a cheap-ass apartment, working 5 nights a week, and struggling to gain footing with my post high-school existence.  Desperately seeking to improve my stale position in life, I talked myself into believing I could succeed in high school.  But with every F I received, my slippery self-esteem, would descend more closely to the pavement.  My hand was a losing hand, and I was ready to fold.
     

        It was at this bleak state in my life, that I decided to pick up, and head in a new direction.  Instantaneously, I gathered up my things in the apartment, ran out to my car, and sped off, leaving my family, friends, boss, and landlord sucking on my exhaust.  It wasn’t till I traveled through the window city of Chicago, and landed in the murder capital of the world, Flint, Michigan, that I had realized what I’d done.  But it didn’t matter much to me at that point.  I was free.  Freer than I’d every been in my whole life.  Reality had stared me cold, dead in the eyes, and I’d turned my back on it defiantly, giving it the middle finger,
and running away at the same time.  I received a call from a friend at Duke University.  Three days later, I would be sleeping on the hardwood floor of his dorm room, drunk off my own reality.  I’d contacted my x-girlfriend who lived in Maryland.  At first she was ecstatic that I was going to visit her, but then she gathered her thoughts, added and subtracted my story in her head, and told me I was fucking crazy.  I never did see her on the trip.  Visibly shook and embarrassed by the escapades of the now two-week long tour of America.  I retreated back to my home state of Missouri.  First I stayed at SMS with my old high-school running mates.  After a few days there, I had built my self-concept up enough to go back home to my apartment and enter back into my misery once more.  
     
       My adventures had thus come to an end.  So much for feeling clever and empowered, my dreams of being an outlaw, riding horseback into the sunset, taking the town by storm, had only added another ugly chapter to my story.  To tell you the cold hard truth of the matter, the whole damn trip was miserable.  Growing up, you hear stories of men leaving home, with a dollar to their names, and ending up millionaires just ten years posterior.  Or, the stories of bored youngsters, who head out for the coast of the pacific, and find themselves sipping margaritas on sandy beaches with sexy supermodels.  But that isn’t the reality I found.  So take it straight from me, cause I’ll spare you all the entertainment value, and cut to the point.  Dreams don’t always come true.  And life ain’t always what it seems.  And sometimes, what your searching for, isn’t really there.  You can spend your whole life looking for something, and just end up more lost in your own irrelevance.  

[MUHFUKKA]

 

[Sccit]

DEEP

[TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96']

Actually.. ain't a damn thing changed... Nothing new under the sun.  I still do the same shit as far as picking up and leaving like that... This was actually the first journey I ever took and you can see how hard I fell flat on my face and how fucked up I was.  You have to admit I've came a long way from that to actually going for 40 days to Africa every other year and loving it.

[Hack Wilson - real]

Smh

[MUHFUKKA]

Actually.. ain't a damn thing changed... Nothing new under the sun.  I still do the same shit as far as picking up and leaving like that... This was actually the first journey I ever took and you can see how hard I fell flat on my face and how fucked up I was.  You have to admit I've came a long way from that to actually going for 40 days to Africa every other year and loving it.

we all know you cry like a girl and run away from your problems still but does that last line maybe make you realize that your "spiritual" journey is a huge waste of time? you wrote that yourself 12 fuckin years ago

[bouli77]

good paper, although the end is a bit pessimistic (i tend to agree about the romanticized stereotype of traveling on one's own).

[TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96']

good paper, although the end is a bit pessimistic (i tend to agree about the romanticized stereotype of traveling on one's own).

Thanks homie.  Well, remember I was an isolated suburban kid, and this was my first experience ever breaking out the bubble. 

[Sikotic™]

Stop playing the victim all the damn time

And you wonder why nothing has changed since you wrote that?

[TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96']

Stop playing the victim all the damn time

And you wonder why nothing has changed since you wrote that?

A lot has changed, clown...

I went from driving to Detroit, spending one hour there on the freeway, then driving towards Maryland.  Stopping at my friends Dorm at Duke University.  Calling my x-girlfriend only to get treated like a stalker and have her hang up on me and disconnect the phone on me and driving back to Missouri.

I went from that to having 40 day, 40 night adventures in West Africa every couple years that have been wonderful.

...And it's not playing the victim it's called sharing a life experience.  If 99.9% of the forum wasn't illiterate they would know that this stuff goes on in just about any autobiography you could find at your local library.  It's only surprising here because most of you are illiterate and lack the courage and ability to express yourself.

[Sikotic™]

Stop playing the victim all the damn time

And you wonder why nothing has changed since you wrote that?

A lot has changed, clown...

I went from driving to Detroit, spending one hour there on the freeway, then driving towards Maryland.  Stopping at my friends Dorm at Duke University.  Calling my x-girlfriend only to get treated like a stalker and have her hang up on me and disconnect the phone on me and driving back to Missouri.

I went from that to having 40 day, 40 night adventures in West Africa every couple years that have been wonderful.

...And it's not playing the victim it's called sharing a life experience.  If 99.9% of the forum wasn't illiterate they would know that this stuff goes on in just about any autobiography you could find at your local library.  It's only surprising here because most of you are illiterate and lack the courage and ability to express yourself.

You still whine when anything doesnt go your way. You're still a "glass is half empty" kinda dude. The reason you're still stuck with the same shitty outlook is because you refuse to acknowledge your lack of personal growth despite your travel.

Now this is the part where you remain in denial and say I don't know you even though you've been saying the same things for the last decade.

[TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96']

I don't know you even though you've been saying the same things for the last decade.

When in China, speak Chinese, clown!   Back when this board was positive I spoke positive.  

...Hip-Hop 101 for you, clown.  In hip-hop you have a cipher and you have a battle.  We can cipher and build if you all had anything non-perverted to say on here.  But if all you all are gonna do is clown 24/7 then it's battle mode from here on out.  Understand, clown?

[blcxm]

I don't know you even though you've been saying the same things for the last decade.

When in China, speak Chinese, clown!   Back when this board was positive I spoke positive.  

...Hip-Hop 101 for you, clown.  In hip-hop you have a cipher and you have a battle.  We can cipher and build if you all had anything non-perverted to say on here.  But if all you all are gonna do is clown 24/7 then it's battle mode from here on out.  Understand, clown?

[Morphine]

it´s hard to be in a "cipher" where one of the participants thinks he´s above everyone else . you´ve travelled the world but haven´t learned shit. refusing to grow, peter pan ass fraud.

you tried talking down to another muslim because you felt superior and got schooled. you´re the only clown here since you´re always putting up a show.

"hey look at me, i´m a fuck up that thinks he knows everything."


put the weed down, mouse.

[Sikotic™]

positivity? there aint nothing positive about you, man. All you do is cry and whine about how hard your silver spoon life is. All

you dont get any respect because you dont deserve any. thats why africans were stealing food off your plate.