This WILL get us back 2gether!!! X-girlfriend

[infinite59]

My shortcomings (weakness)

In my mind I selfishly escape, to my own world
I am the ruler, commander in chief,
defiant, the all seeing eye,
I play the role of the innocent victim,
and I fight to keep others down,
then work to bring them back up on my own accord.

My Real Life:

I work, I eat, I read, I write, and I wait to go back to school again to prove myself to those who demand I show a piece of paper to prove my desire for knowledge.

My future in the least:

I've decided that at the very least I could get my associates degree and be a substitute teacher,
Reach students on a personal level, and make knowledge more real and tangible,
Instead of it being some far off ideal that is only visited in an effort to please their parents.

My future at best:

At the very best of circumstances I could be a superstar rapper.  And relate to kids who grew up like I did.  Kids desperately seeking to relate to someone who is willing to share both their successes and failures.  So that we don't feel alone in our shortcomings.

Letter to Erin:

What an awesome thing it would be to feel oneself on the verge of the possibility of really knowing another person.  What an exciting and new world.  Can it happen?  I'm not sure?  I write you in hopes that you may one day fully understand me.  You've been both hurt and loved by me.  You've been both hated and loved by me.  You have hated (or rather looked down upon) me, and loved me.  You are currently disregarding me.  Just as in the past I disregarded you.  Why would we give up now?

Our seperation is not a reason to give up, but rather another hill we must climb on the mountain to understanding.  Our failures are not failures but rather learning tools to help us better understand each other.  Give up now and we loose everything.  Will you walk with me?  

love, Brian..... 645-8727

PS.  I offer to you, the awesome feeling of really getting to know someone.  No matter how tall the seeds of hopelessness grow or how vast the distance between us unfolds, I still strongly believe that I deserve you, and that I deserve to know you, and to communicate with you.  What have I done to merit this?  I don't believe in the merit system.  I only believe in that which my heart transmits to my mind, sensors bring forth thought, that is manifested on this paper that you are now reading.  But meant to be shared between the two of us.

I do not find life monotonous.  
I do have plans and dreams.
And I do believe that our relationship continued even as we attempted to sacrifice it on behalf of Cupid.  The God of Love.  I'm hoping it is too late for you to flip over on me.  Because it is much to late for me to flip over on you.

And if you have another man.  I came before him.  Our love is a relationship in continuation.  And therefore takes precedence.  If you and Zack worked things out and decided that your love is the most primitive, the oldest and truest form, I would have to step aside.  The same goes for Ashley and I.  But I feel that what is strongest will ultimately manifest itself.  Not neccasarily strongest in the opening, but strongest in all things proceding.  Taking it like you find it is a burn.  It sells you short. I believe we have alot of history, and alot to expand upon.  That is the love that will stand the test of time.  That is the love that I believe you and I posess.  

And it is on that ground wich I stand,
with you, hand in hand,
Will you walk with me?

I know the side of you.... I know the side of you... You were honest enough with me to explain...Strong enough... The side of you that has been hurt..  the side that is afraid of being hurt... the side that has been hurt numerous times, infact I have previously hurt you... once... twice...  I know that side of you... And I love that side of you.... I love all of you...  And it is then that we can truly understand eachother.  Once again, I don't see a weekness, I see a strength, I don't see a stopsign, I see a bridge....  In the path we must take to feeling love, love in all it's pain and glory... Let's open up a new world... Walk with me....

[Tecknine]

deep shit...it was some good reading