Author Topic: Bar Structure (Read 173 times)

Cios · « **on:** June 16, 2009, 04:16:54 PM »

Bar Structure

I’m ready for this battle,
And I won’t leave without the golden medal
I got the game on lock,
You try to make moves but I put you in shock
On my way to recognition,
You just know you’ll never be in the same position
Shouldn’t have spoke bad about me,
Cause that’s when you meet where my fist be
Nah I ain’t meaning physically,
It’s a battle of words so make sure you use the right key
Letting you know this really is my cup of tea,
I’m hitting harder than a killer bee
This is my blame,
The game is getting lame,
The people in it the same,
Looking for fame, I think it’s a shame
Rappin’ about all the luxury you got,
But you ain’t no credibility, that’s where got verbally shot
I put you in the oven, damn right the dinner is ready,
So come sit down while it’s still hot,
I tell you what’s not
Trying to step up in the game,
But you can’t come close to my spot
The throne is mine,
No I’m not the king, but I dominate over these fakers all the time
Sometimes I throw some water with the whine,
I give them orders and put ‘em line,
And if they don’t listen, I give ‘em a fine
I’ve had it with these fools,
Go back to your baby box and play with your tools,
The game is mine so I don’t listen to rules
I burn them like fire,
Get back to my throne and let ‘em know that was said by the sire,
Checking out now cause there’s a fail in this wire,
Put ‘em back on place, yeah that’s my desire.

Appreciate the feedback..
I just started with writing a couple verses.
My first language ain't English so don't blame my grammar.
Just let me know what's good, and what should be better.

LAXCENTRAL · « **Reply #1 on:** June 16, 2009, 05:46:26 PM »

good stuff...
whats ur first language?

Cios · « **Reply #2 on:** June 17, 2009, 06:51:28 AM »

Thanks, appreciate it.

I'm from Holland aka The Netherlands, close to the city of Amsterdam.

Anyone else?

LAXCENTRAL · « **Reply #3 on:** June 29, 2009, 06:40:00 PM »

im from Armenia but i live in United States

maximus · « **Reply #4 on:** June 29, 2009, 08:50:20 PM »

not to bad man, u got some pretty good vocab if u dont really speak the english that well. it was solid nothin spectacular man but ya nearly there

you gon always be my latin queen bitch · « **Reply #5 on:** June 29, 2009, 08:54:47 PM »

not bad
yeah i mean technically theres some grammar errors but it was cool
some nice lines, but some of the lines would need to be changed cuz you used the wrong words in that sentence
some of it was comedy too lol