Each Day (poem)

[Pillow]

Each day I worry if I'm going to make it...
From all this shit directed my way why must I take it...
mostly things i'm intrested in is over-rated...
Or maybe there jus over - stated...

Each day something new happens to make tha old erase, either a new place or a new face will change tha pace... Puttin in manner of a new good grace seems to be a bit "too" good to be in a good - way... It's somethin good to say or get off your chest, a new way to express this mess that gets you this depressed, to invest in medical stress now is it best ?? Or forever upset an confess to this one bitch in tha west wearin an outdated dress who just could give a fuck less...

Now take my thoughts as I preach them through-you, that move-you away like voodoo... It's like I knew-you before you knew-yourself so now your blue-too seein an evict notice on tha shelf....

lemme know what ya'll think, thanks
peace.....

~Blanket~

[bez]

Its ok man, but there dont really seem to be a hard hitting subject your are writing about, to me it seemed like if you found a word to rhyme with another you just put it in.  Poetry aint about every word rhyming.  Poetry is about a subject that a person can go deep into and reveal stuff about.  Not just a verse with face, place, erase, pace, grace.  Get me.

DOnt get me wrong it was nice and all but at the end I thought to myself so what the fuck was the subject.  

I'm not guna sit here and bullshit you and tell you that I thought it was dope because I didnt but I certainly didnt feel that it was rubbish.

Drop more tho cos I will read and reply each time mate.

Bez

[Pillow]

^^ i understand what ur sayin dog, at least ur honest. now....lemme back my slef up here lol. first of the subject at hand here was what goes on (i see) in my life on a daily basis, and how i precieve it, this poem was from the heart. the comment u said was true though about how a poem doest all have to rhyme, cause they dont, but in this particualr poem i wanted it to, its called rhyme scheme. many poets use that from time to time. if u wanna peep my other poem you can pepp it, its called "blood...sweat and tears."

[Reef]

Yeah.. was good man.. But i agree with Bez about the rhyming.. I've read poems that dont rhyme at all.. But their point is made in a different way. Reading your comment after what Bez said it seems you understand bout the basic structure..

Ima sound like your english teacher now but oh well lol..

Add some devices like metaphors and similies, and use aliteration to make your point.

Poems are the hardest things to write in the world.... If you need like examples n stuff read, 'Anthem for doomed youth' I forgot the poet's name.. But i'll get hold of it for ya if u wanna.

peace