Fuck Life (feedback please)

[Pillow]

i was jus chillen thinkin about some feelins i have, and heres what came out (feedback wanted).........

I truly hate life...

Fuck this life, fuck the strife, and fuck the blood dripping off a knife
That came out my side
Fuck my fried mind, your blind to see my internal fights, fuck everything till the day i die
I cant find a rhyme, im sick of having to always write shit i feel deep inside, id rather lie
Lie in a puddle of my own blood, 'truth hurts' applies to a guy with suicide thoughts in mind


Confused between paths, god guide me with light, quit tryin to turn your back
A reality stacks problems had, a heart aches and swims in an ocean of black
Reacts distorted vision; decisions deface my own intuition, im afraid of my opinions
Sins grinning, a devilish face envisioned in a nightmare of realities own aggressions
Incisions cut thru dreams; violent silent screams within my mindset intervene
U deceives me, perceive a breeze that blows thru me, u freeze everything in me
Hopes and dreams halted, a pure mind, body and spirit battered and assaulted
Defaulted, stop it, knock it off im gettin nauseous from a topsy turvey world vaulted
Appalled, im in awe of my own flaws, a manic depressed man with a suicidal cause
Drugs are my only friend, end my agony within, god falls in my eyes, my heart stalls

Fuck this life, fuck the strife, and fuck the blood dripping off a knife
That came out my side
Fuck my fried mind, your blind to see my internal fights, fuck everything till the day i die
I cant find a rhyme, im sick of having to always write shit i feel deep inside, id rather lie
Lie in a puddle of my own blood, 'truth hurts' applies to a guy with suicide thoughts in mind

I haven't eaten for days, worried and paranoid, avoids solutions cause im afraid
Im wasting away, pray for better days, but it's my peers who seem to catch his thanks
Solve this open case; display a gun to my head and just fast-forward to doomsday
A reason for my hate, kids that laugh and play, happiness is just rubbed in my face
Im sick of childish games, i strive to maintain, and then complain cause i have nothing to show
Provoke those who've shown no holds, still i grasp for the relationship i strove towards
Bored outta my gored, i lay face first on a cold floor while life wipes its feet on my soul
Im torn between fate of failure and death knocking down my door, which cares where i go
Just no more please, just leave me the fuck alone; everyone quit tryin to help me
There's no cure i see, i can't be rehabilitated, i can't think of one thing that's worth me living

Fuck it all, kill me now...

peace.......
~Blanket~

[__kaLipZo__]

deep shit man, keep it goin =)

[Reef]

That was some tight shit man.. i was feelin most of it through my own feelings n shit

[Koncept]

rhymes were good but what stood out was the imagery of true emtions of confusion, fear and anger

vary nice

[Pillow]

Thanks for tha feedback ya'll, i appriciate it, keep it comin

[@Ss@sSiN]

nice piece felt it

[Lost Titan]

keep it coming that was nice

[M Dogg™]

I sense anger young grasshopper. I suggest using this anger and fucking people in in battle. It's the most important form or battling... the rage. Nice piece by the way.

[@Ss@sSiN]

lol ^^

[Kill]

raw shit...dope overall

[bez]

yer nuice, flowed well. Chorus was a bit simple but the verses where tite.

[Pillow]

yer nuice, flowed well. Chorus was a bit simple but the verses where tite.

lol this was meant to be poem for those that didnt know

[maximus]

those who know me im the least philosophical guy or whateva in the whole world... but i used to say fuck life fuck this fuck that fuck the law blah blah blah.. fuck life

this is what i think of every day

"LIFE IS A GIFT, LIKE IT OR FALL OFF THE SIDE OF A CLIFF"

~1~