Trying something different.

[Reef]

Ok. So Ive been messing around with flows, bar structures, syllables etc and came up with this. Bit different, its written more to be rapped then a true "keystyle" thought i'd share and see what you guys think.

I cant get over this, it aint a game of
poker its, the shame of knowing, the shame
of failing, should have never turnt away
I'm ashamed of the games I played in your
name, ashamed, I cant go back and just change
to put a stop to it, cut the cancer
at the source before it escalates to
something I cant control, fills us full of hate
thats when it becomes fate, destined to stay
it wont fold or shake, two hearts left in its wake
its too much to take, just cant stomatch it,
I put my tears, sweat and blood in this
just cant take no more if this is what your lovin' is

[TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96']

Ok. So Ive been messing around with flows, bar structures, syllables etc and came up with this. Bit different, its written more to be rapped then a true "keystyle" thought i'd share and see what you guys think.

I cant get over this, it aint a game of
poker its, the shame of knowing, the shame
of failing, should have never turnt away
I'm ashamed of the games I played in your
name, ashamed, I cant go back and just change
to put a stop to it, cut the cancer
at the source before it escalates to
something I cant control, fills us full of hate
thats when it becomes fate, destined to stay
it wont fold or shake, two hearts left in its wake
its too much to take, just cant stomatch it,
I put my tears, sweat and blood in this
just cant take no more if this is what your lovin' is

pretty dope homie.  I think the rhyme scheme works just fine.

[Reef]

Thanks for the feedback dude. Im working on a few similar types of structure. I really need to record some of it because it always flows different I think.