Infinite "None of it Mattered" rough cut 1

[TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96']

Artist: Infinite
Track: "None of it Mattered"
Produced by: Komo Beatz
Album:  The Refugee (Coming Soon)
Link: https://soundcloud.com/abdul-infinite/infinite-none-of-it-mattered

Lyrics:

Verse 1:

I'm trying to see through a translucent lens
Instead of an opague one, I walked up to the ocean to cool off
but just stepped upon hard rocks/
tried to swim cooly, but sticky sea weed surrounded me
my body felt filthy, so I went to dry off/
gathered the towel, but somehow it was left back at the house/
The cold wind hit me and now I was freezing/
clouds formed and suddenly it became a hellish evening,
I walked back to my bicycle to ride back to the abode/
but the bicycle was jacked so now how do I get home?
Then the rain hit me, felt like a century before I got back/
Got lost along my way, and then lost again after that/
Came back to a home, with the electricity cut/
Guess the government couldn't come up with budget/

Chorus:

But none of it mattered, cause that night the music hit me
and the girl kissed me, so still I was alive
But none of it mattered, cause that night the music hit me
and the girl kissed me, so still I was alive
But none of it mattered, cause that night the music hit me
and the girl kissed me, so still I was alive

Verse 2:

Now I'm alive in West Africa, watchin the news/
Hearing government views, no right or left/
So I switch to international, news around the world/
Spotlight on West Africa, lens focused on my region/
Seeing images of people dying of internal bleeding/
Of Ebola epedimics and advanced warnings/
I'm thinking the place looks dangerous, better heed the warnings/
Look outside to see the rainy season still storming,
and I remember I'm in West Africa, wait the TV is talking about me/
The times, I'm inside the images on the screen/
But I don't see what they see/
I don't hear what they hear/
The morning brings the sun, and life is as usual/
Rather unusual, watching international news
that's explaining your locality,
There's reports but no confirmation/
Listenenin closely to the details/
Is television telling lies to my vision/
Death Disease Famine/
But all you see is normal, do they just decieve
Or is it information unto which I should take heed/
Should one just believe upon what their eyes see
None of it really matters to me

Chorus:

But none of it mattered, cause that night the music hit me
and the girl kissed me, so still I was alive
But none of it mattered, cause that night the music hit me
and the girl kissed me, so still I was alive
But none of it mattered, cause that night the music hit me
and the girl kissed me, so still I was alive

[Sccit]

nice lyrics......tone down on the reverb a lil and use doubles to emphasize your rhyming words+adlibs g

[TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96']

nice lyrics......tone down on the reverb a lil and use doubles to emphasize your rhyming words+adlibs g

you know me homie... I don't know any of that technical shit.... but thanks for the feedback

[daytondanger]

I like your lyrics. Elior made some good points in his feedback that I agree with.
Keep keeping it hip hop!

[J. B A N A N A S]

nice beat.

vocals - whoa, there is so much wrong here.

1) Mic presence is level aids patient. rap from your diaphragm and work on your breath control. Nobody wants to listen to something that is completely flat and weak sounding. Are you a weak bitch or are you a man with something to say?!?

2) Reverb - what is going on here, did you add effects or are you rapping in a locker room somewhere?

3) Isolate your vocals - do you know what a vocal booth is? I know you cant afford real studio time but there are plenty of youtube tutorials on how to record vocals from home. Start there. You absolutely have to get those vocals to stop bouncing off whatever and again I'm not sure if that is your recording environment or you added reverb effects.
If you are going to rap quiet and passively you need to get closer to the mic.

4) Timing, Rhythm - You are trying to fit too many words in to a rigidly structured instrumental and it all sounds jumbled and off beat. Have you considered spoken word poetry instead of hip hop because this won't pass as the latter with pretty much anyone. Spoken word poetry is kind of like rap but not confined to a 4/4 beat or melody, so you wont have to worry about sounding off track.

The beat is good. If you made that, try sticking to making beats.

[TraceOneInfinite Flat Earther 96']

nice beat.

vocals - whoa, there is so much wrong here.

1) Mic presence is level aids patient. rap from your diaphragm and work on your breath control. Nobody wants to listen to something that is completely flat and weak sounding. Are you a weak bitch or are you a man with something to say?!?

2) Reverb - what is going on here, did you add effects or are you rapping in a locker room somewhere?

3) Isolate your vocals - do you know what a vocal booth is? I know you cant afford real studio time but there are plenty of youtube tutorials on how to record vocals from home. Start there. You absolutely have to get those vocals to stop bouncing off whatever and again I'm not sure if that is your recording environment or you added reverb effects.
If you are going to rap quiet and passively you need to get closer to the mic.

4) Timing, Rhythm - You are trying to fit too many words in to a rigidly structured instrumental and it all sounds jumbled and off beat. Have you considered spoken word poetry instead of hip hop because this won't pass as the latter with pretty much anyone. Spoken word poetry is kind of like rap but not confined to a 4/4 beat or melody, so you wont have to worry about sounding off track.

The beat is good. If you made that, try sticking to making beats.

Excellent review.. yeah it was late at night and I had sleeping roomates and I think that subconsciously made me rap so weak.  I have another song I recorded at a different place with a lot more power behind my voice.  I would love to get your opinion on a song like that.  I will put up the link in this thread later or I will PM it to you,hope you have time to give feedback so I can compare

[Mr. O]

i like your concept...beats is chill

[Will_B]

i like your concept...beats is chill

Agreed. This could be great with an engineer on your team

[Fraxxx]

Instrumental is tight, has that 80's vibe. And looking at the lyrics, if you switch to double time half the time they fit in easy. Just saying, I know that flow is none of your strong points.