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Author Topic: Biography of Homer Simpson  (Read 281 times)

JTSimon

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Biography of Homer Simpson
« on: July 27, 2003, 10:38:40 AM »
Biography of Homer Simpson
 
Full Name: Homer Jay Simpson
Height: 6 feet
Weight: Depends on the episode. Homer has weighed between 239 pounds and 300 pounds.
Age/Birthdate: Again depends on the episode. Could be 17-23-56, 05-12-56 or 05-10-55.
Social Security Number: 568-47-0008
Blood Type: B positive
Earmuff Size: XL
Homer has had many life-long dreams. Some of them include Monorail conductor, run out on a baseball field during a game, manage a beautiful country singer, eat the world's biggest hoagie, be a blackjack dealer, appear on "The Gong Show", to own the Dallas Cowboys, to live in the woods and bowling a perfect game.

He has also won several awards, including the 1st Annual Montgomery Burns Award For Outstanding Acheivement In The Field Of Excellence, Grammy for "outstanding soul, spoken word, or barbershop album of the year with the B-Sharps and a medal for "making what could have been a Chernobyl into Three Mile Island."

Homer is also full of nuggets of wisdom. Following are some of my favorite words of advice he has given.

- "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
- "If something's hard to do then it's not worth doing."
- "Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
 
He also waxes philosphical about beer.
- "Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."
- "To alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
- "Homer no function beer well without."

Finally, here are a few of my favorite Homer Simpson prayers.
- "Lord help me, I'm just not that bright."
- "Dear God, give a bald guy a break."
- "As God as my witness, I'll always be hungry again!"
 
Homer Simpson continues to be a favorite character for many fans. After reading about his life and philosphies, it's easy to see why.

----
Homer Simpson Info
Name: Homer J. Simpson
Voice: Dan Castellaneta
Birth of date: May 12, 1956
Weight: 230-260
Mmm..: Almost anything editable
Favorite Drink: Duff Beer
Favorite Song: "It's Raining Men"
Favorite Movie(s): Look Who's Oinking, Octopussy, Honk Your Horny
Proudest Accomplishment: Lisa Simpson
Worst fear: Sock Puppets

Mmm List
marshmallows
chocolate
Macamadamia nuts
horse doovers
spaghetti
purple
beer
waffle run-off
salty
the land of chocolate
crumbled-up cookie things
chicken
potato chips
strained peas
snouts
fattening
Burgher
soylent green
shrimp
grapefruit
organized crime
forbidden donut
sixty four pieces of American cheese
invisible cola
candy
concenindent
business deal
free goo
apple
hambugers
foot-long chili dog
unproccesed fish
Marge
mediciney
sacrilicious
elephant fresh
carmel
bowling fresh
urnial fresh
slanty
incapacitating
beer nuts
something
sandwich
re-ciculated air
memo

 



 
« Last Edit: July 27, 2003, 10:53:58 AM by Max Powers »
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UDollar A.K.A Nino

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2003, 10:55:40 AM »
^^
Where did you find this at????
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"I have loved you," says the LORD. "Yet you say, 'In what way have you loved us?' "Was not Esau Jacob's brother?" Says the LORD. "Yet Jacob I have loved" - Malachi 1:2

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Noon Bank$

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2003, 12:55:54 PM »
Hes a fuckin stalker.
....a Homer Simposon stalker. Pathetic! j/p
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UDollar A.K.A Nino

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2003, 01:10:34 PM »
^^
Could be, but i still found this funny, lol....
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"I have loved you," says the LORD. "Yet you say, 'In what way have you loved us?' "Was not Esau Jacob's brother?" Says the LORD. "Yet Jacob I have loved" - Malachi 1:2

The final season of Lost - 2010

 

Black_Smoke

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2003, 02:24:55 PM »
lol
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A-Trak

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2003, 03:48:58 PM »
lol, homer's the shit
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Jimmy Cash

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2003, 03:55:13 PM »
nice post man, props
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JTSimon

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2003, 10:34:35 AM »
I searched google.com for Homer Simpson Bio  ;D

http://animatedtv.about.com/cs/faqs/a/simpsonbios.htm

can't find the other site I copy/pasted from



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« Last Edit: July 28, 2003, 10:41:42 AM by Max Powers »
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Perfection

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2003, 11:16:43 AM »
How could he be born in the 50s, when he went to high school in the 70s, and many times they've said that he's between 37-41?
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T-Dogg

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2003, 02:14:31 AM »
In Homer's own words:

"It's a cartoon. It doesn't have to make sense."
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7even

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2003, 02:32:24 AM »
Quote from: The French Dibbler on July 28, 2003, 11:16:43 AM
How could he be born in the 50s, when he went to high school in the 70s, and many times they've said that he's between 37-41?

the first simpsons episode aired lika 15 years ago.
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And I won't waste my time fitting in
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HHH

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2003, 02:46:31 AM »
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AlerG

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #12 on: July 30, 2003, 02:58:34 PM »
I'm pretty sure Homer's biggest fear is Cobras...they give him night terrors, peace.
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CareBear

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #13 on: July 31, 2003, 07:53:57 PM »
Cool! :)
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eS El Duque

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Re:Biography of Homer Simpson
« Reply #14 on: August 02, 2003, 11:20:12 AM »
props lol
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