NFL Players Do Write to Santa!

[eS El Duque]

Dear Santa:
All I want for Christmas is Dan Marino off my back. I mean, it seems like I hear about that guy every time I turn around. I can't tell you how many times I've told people that I haven't been thinking about that silly single-season touchdown record of his. I've said it and said it and said it, even if I don't believe it myself. (I mean, isn't that what I'm supposed to say?) And now, people are talking that I'm going to be just like him because he didn't win a Super Bowl, either. Can you just make that guy go away? I wish I'd never heard his name!
-- Your pal, Peyton

Dear Santa:
All I want for Christmas is a healthy Terrell in January. Listen, I've been in a few Januaries before without him; and believe me, I don't want to go there again. Please, please, please, Mr. Kringle: Make his ankle better in time for the playoffs. If it isn't healed, I just don't know what we're going to do. If it's too much to ask for you to fix his ankle, do you think there's a way you could get us into the Super Bowl without him?
-- Sincerely, Donovan

Dear Santa:
All I want for Christmas is what Big Ben has. I watched him on Saturday. He gets to play behind a big ol' offensive line and has a bruising running game and a bunch of breakaway receivers. Plus, his defense makes mine look like . . . well, I'm trying to be a good teammate so I won't say out loud what I'm thinking inside. Does it seem fair to you that he has all that and I don't? I've tried to be good. I really have!
-- Love, Eli

Dear Santa:
All I want for Christmas is that thing Aretha used to sing about. I mean, my team is 11-3 and all, and we just clinched the AFC West. But man oh man, Santa: My coach only let me throw six passes on Sunday! Sure, it was snowing in Cleveland, but isn't that supposed to give the passing game an advantage? This coach ... his name is Marty. I think you know him because he was apparently on your naughty list a few seasons in the past. (At least, that's what he thinks, based on those AFC championship games). I'm not even sure he wants me back next year; and if I only get to throw six passes, how am I going to impress any other teams? So what I'm asking you to bring me on Saturday morning, Santa, is a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Can do?
-- Best regards, Drew


LOL...at Eli's.