My first post in this section! (a diss)

[D--M--X]

Since i'm new to this forum: Hello @ everybody  

This is a diss i wrote to somebody on another forum, and i just wanted to know what y'all think of it?

Yeah, i'm a bully, so what?
And i know my rhymes' illy, just call me god
If I wouldn't spit at the weak
I wouldn't be spitting at you, silly geek
Come again tomorrow to get your beadown 4 this week
Your rhymes are bad, they sound like greek
Don't you know by now, that
i'm the hardest, rap artist
My rhymes ain't like yours...just wack
Better leave this thread and never come back
You're making me mad
Shall i smack your face?
What the f!ck r u doing, trying to take my place
Remember that i'm an ace
When it comes to rap
Did u get it by now? crap!
You don't rap, you don't rhyme
and u never comitted a crime
so don't u talk here bout taking lives
before u do that u'll be stuck with knives!!!

So what do y'all think of it???

[wilz]

first half was real good, only thing i would change is the line were it says ..... just wack it kinda sounds like your talking about your own rhymes. and try to make the last part flow a little better.

Thats just my opinion so don't let it phase u, keep writin and doin your thing

[eKardz]

BOOOO

[D--M--X]

first half was real good, only thing i would change is the line were it says ..... just wack it kinda sounds like your talking about your own rhymes. and try to make the last part flow a little better.

Thats just my opinion so don't let it phase u, keep writin and doin your thing

Thanks for the comment!
You're right with the "just wack" thing

@eKardz: Your comment didn't help me at all

Any tips for me to improve in general???

[eKardz]

first half was real good, only thing i would change is the line were it says ..... just wack it kinda sounds like your talking about your own rhymes. and try to make the last part flow a little better.

Thats just my opinion so don't let it phase u, keep writin and doin your thing

Thanks for the comment!
You're right with the "just wack" thing

@eKardz: Your comment didn't help me at all

Any tips for me to improve in general???

my bad,  i thought that the rhymes were way too simple.  all these one syllable words, sounds like your in elementary school.  not feelin the bar structure or the overall flow.  maybe u got it tho keep tryin who knows.

[D--M--X]

Rapping in English is a lil bit difficult for me, cause i'm from Germany I also don't rap long, just since about 3weeks
Thanks for the advice, I'm gonna use it in the future 

[Dynamic]

HAA dmx nigga u wack, that was the wackest verse i ever seen in my LIFE, All these cats kno, u jus a fake ass mufuka wit throw-way simplistic rhymes. im bouts to RIP this nigga.

When im Slammin you ill be makin the the Whole Planet Move
laugh as the crowd watchs me manhandle and Dismantle You
Thats what u get for thinkin an' Planning That Dynamic Lose
leave you lookin like a Left handed man usin a Right-handed Tool
An when u Go back Broken an Bruised and lie to ur Fans and Crew
they all Gunna Sceptically Examine You and they gunna Demand the Proof
An ill show them the K.O. an how i Land it too in every Camera View
Leave You to Rot, like those skinny Ethiopians Goin through a Famine Do
Lock u in a Panic-room and under the bandaged-wounds watch the Maggots Chew
The room so Stank i Puke, leave ur Decaying carcass smellin like Salmon Stu,
I'll Erupt Spittin Volcanic Ooze, Cremate ur Body to Nothin but Sand and Fumes

GEA.. say somethin'

DYNAMIC

[D--M--X]

HAA dmx nigga u wack, that was the wackest verse i ever seen in my LIFE, All these cats kno, u jus a fake ass mufuka wit throw-way simplistic rhymes. im bouts to RIP this nigga.

When im Slammin you ill be makin the the Whole Planet Move
laugh as the crowd watchs me manhandle and Dismantle You
Thats what u get for thinkin an' Planning That Dynamic Lose
leave you lookin like a Left handed man usin a Right-handed Tool
An when u Go back Broken an Bruised and lie to ur Fans and Crew
they all Gunna Sceptically Examine You and they gunna Demand the Proof
An ill show them the K.O. an how i Land it too in every Camera View
Leave You to Rot, like those skinny Ethiopians Goin through a Famine Do
Lock u in a Panic-room and under the bandaged-wounds watch the Maggots Chew
The room so Stank i Puke, leave ur Decaying carcass smellin like Salmon Stu,
I'll Erupt Spittin Volcanic Ooze, Cremate ur Body to Nothin but Sand and Fumes

GEA.. say somethin'

DYNAMIC

Whoaa, adynamic cool down, there's no reason to drop sth like that.
I didn't say that I'm good or anything, it ain't easy rhyming in another language.
Bet you can't speak 3 languages, can you???
Also i'm only rapping since only 3weeks!!!
So search sb who's your size

[da_notorious_mack]

HAA dmx nigga u wack, that was the wackest verse i ever seen in my LIFE, All these cats kno, u jus a fake ass mufuka wit throw-way simplistic rhymes. im bouts to RIP this nigga.

When im Slammin you ill be makin the the Whole Planet Move
laugh as the crowd watchs me manhandle and Dismantle You
Thats what u get for thinkin an' Planning That Dynamic Lose
leave you lookin like a Left handed man usin a Right-handed Tool
An when u Go back Broken an Bruised and lie to ur Fans and Crew
they all Gunna Sceptically Examine You and they gunna Demand the Proof
An ill show them the K.O. an how i Land it too in every Camera View
Leave You to Rot, like those skinny Ethiopians Goin through a Famine Do
Lock u in a Panic-room and under the bandaged-wounds watch the Maggots Chew
The room so Stank i Puke, leave ur Decaying carcass smellin like Salmon Stu,
I'll Erupt Spittin Volcanic Ooze, Cremate ur Body to Nothin but Sand and Fumes

GEA.. say somethin'

DYNAMIC

dayum...dun u murderous...hit me up on pm if ya wanna hit a site wit sum competition....



o yah...dmx....werent really feeln this....wayyyyyyyyyy too simple...try usin multis like....


pay-stacks
lace-raps
stay-strapped
take-that


see wat i mean...keep at it though...youll improve....

[D--M--X]

Thanks for the advice, i'll use it

[Mac 10 †]

HAA dmx nigga u wack, that was the wackest verse i ever seen in my LIFE, All these cats kno, u jus a fake ass mufuka wit throw-way simplistic rhymes. im bouts to RIP this nigga.

When im Slammin you ill be makin the the Whole Planet Move
laugh as the crowd watchs me manhandle and Dismantle You
Thats what u get for thinkin an' Planning That Dynamic Lose
leave you lookin like a Left handed man usin a Right-handed Tool
An when u Go back Broken an Bruised and lie to ur Fans and Crew
they all Gunna Sceptically Examine You and they gunna Demand the Proof
An ill show them the K.O. an how i Land it too in every Camera View
Leave You to Rot, like those skinny Ethiopians Goin through a Famine Do
Lock u in a Panic-room and under the bandaged-wounds watch the Maggots Chew
The room so Stank i Puke, leave ur Decaying carcass smellin like Salmon Stu,
I'll Erupt Spittin Volcanic Ooze, Cremate ur Body to Nothin but Sand and Fumes

GEA.. say somethin'

DYNAMIC

maybe try switchin it up a bit mayne

same sounding rhymes the whole time got pretty tired 

keep trying tho 

['Illicit']

^^^whose that fine ass woman???

@ dmx:  wadnt too bad bein that u only been rhymin in english for 3 weeks.  but yeh u definately need sum work homie.  what part of germany u from?

[da_notorious_mack]

cheryl tweedy.....