Eto'o warned: Being black not acceptable

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

In an astonishing turn of events the Consejo General del Poder Judicial (Spanish Law Lords) have instructed Barcelona’s Samuel Eto’o to “powder-up” for many of his club's away games in the coming season.

 

This unique situation has come about following the countless occasions when the player has been racially abused while performing for his club away from home.

 

Although the Spanish Football Association are trying to eradicate the problem of racism in the game the law lords have taken what they consider to be the only sensible step and instructed Eto’o to “play the white man” when visiting the grounds where he has previously been the target of racial abuse.

 

“We are trying to eradicate racism from Spanish football and feel that this move will help move towards this” said a top Spanish judge. “Eto’o has been blatantly black since he arrived in Spanish football and must accept that being so black does not help the situation.

 

“We are happy for Samuel to be black when playing at home for Barcelona as clearly the Catalan fans, and many other fans for that matter, have no problem with his blackness but we must insist that he whitens his face whether it be with face paint or baby powder or anything really that will cover up his colour as clearly the blackness of his skin offends many of the home fans at the grounds he is visiting.

 

 

“We have also asked that he wear white leggings, a long sleeve shirt and white gloves as we don’t want to give anyone cause for complaint. A good neat haircut is also a must as, let’s be honest, dreadlocks and the like are clearly offensive”

 

“Samuel has been a great addition to the Spanish game and we accept that he is proud of his colour but he must realise that he is now living within Spanish society and should conform to our ways and customs.

 

“So as to make Samuel aware of the seriousness of the matter we have issued him with a Police warning which will now be recorded. He should be aware that we have received a great many complaints about his blackness and the way he openly flaunts it during his goal celebrations. We can’t just let it go unchecked.”

 

Asked if this would result in the player having a criminal record the Law Official said “Yes but what can you expect? He has been black in front of many people who, for their own private reasons, are offended by the colour of his skin which they are entitled to be. Eto’o’s appearance has provoked ‘alarm and trouble’ so he only has himself to blame”

 

When it was suggested that the player was set to refuse the warning and take his case to the European Court of Human Rights the judge blasted “He’s in Spain now, we might be a part of Europe but we still do it our way here, he’ll have to accept that. If General Franco taught us nothing then he taught us that this type of rebellious behaviour must be nipped in the bud.

 

“If Eto’o doesn’t like it then he can fck off back to where he came from, we don’t want his sort here.”

 

A Scottish reporter in attendance at the press conference challenged the judge, comparing the case with that of Celtic goalkeeper Artur Boruc’s recent Police caution after making the Sign of the Cross in front of Rangers supporters. “You’re just being silly now. There is no way any player would be prosecuted for simply expressing his faith. It just wouldn’t happen so I won’t even attempt to draw parallels with the actions we have been forced to take.”

 

 

NOT FUNNY IS IT?

[7even]

who the fuck took the time to make all that bullshit up lol

[Mac 10 †]

lol, I couldn't decide whether or not to post that.

[On The Edge of Insanity]

Obviously crap, who has this much spare time?

[Gangstauu]

would be too funny if it was true

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

I think most people are missing the point of the article.

[Nutty]

This is a joke right?

[Mac 10 †]

This is a joke right?

In a word - yes.