NBA - No Balls Association ...(Trade Related, Good Read)

[eS El Duque]

Welcome to the No Balls Association

By Bill Simmons
Page 2

Let's just change the name of the NBA to the "No Balls Association." In a league in which nearly every team is flawed in some way, in which the East is wide-open enough that Isiah Thomas and Eddy Curry muttered the word "playoffs" this week, in which every elite team (Phoenix, Dallas and San Antonio) had spare assets to swing a deal and separate themselves from its competitors, in which every 2007 first-rounder possesses more value than it would in a normal season ... nobody had the testicular fortitude to swing a major deal before Thursday's trade deadline.

This was like watching 30 blackjack players stay on 16 against a 10 at the same time. It was crazy. It was unfathomable. Really, everyone felt that good about their team? Nobody felt a pressing need to add one past piece or shake things up? Normally I'd be fine with this, but unfortunately, I paid for the NBA League Pass and suffered through far too many crappy games over the last four months -- from a quality standpoint, it's been one of the most disjointed seasons since the ABA merger. I can't remember another season when this many teams needed to make a move in one direction or another. Incredibly, none of them did.

Ric Bucher believes that every potential contender remembers how the Heat won a title by slapping together two good months, giving them false hope that they could emulate Miami's success this spring by just being patient. Hogwash, I say. There are so many quality reporters, columnists and bloggers covering the league at this point -- all of us educated to the degree that you could ask, "What's Jamaal Magliore's cap figure?" and we'd say right back, "8.3 million, expires this summer" -- that these GMs know we'd jump down their throats for any dumb move. Hell, we sit around WAITING for them to screw up. Now they're scared. I really believe that. Ten years ago, Rod Thorn probably would have dealt J-Kidd for that pu-pu platter that the Lakers offered him. Now? He knows he'd get slaughtered for not getting a blue-chipper back. So he stalled and stalled and hoped to get Andrew Bynum from the Lakers, or Atlanta's No. 1 from the Suns ... and then the deadline passed and now he's stuck with Kidd's monstrous contract and monstrosity of a divorce trial until the summer. Hey, at least he was smart enough to deal Vince Carter before Vince fled for free agency. Oh, wait, he didn't do that, either.

Anyway, I couldn't resist handing out a deadline report card to commemorate what amounted to be a collective chemical castration Thursday. In reverse order, according to the standings:

CELTIC PRIDE?

Just for the hell of it, the six worst Celtics trades ever:

1. Three No. 1's for Bob McAdoo.
2. The Vin Baker trade, which was so unconscionable. I wrote an entire column about it right when it happened.
3. The LaFrentz/Walker trade, which killed them twice because it was terrible to begin with, then they had to sacrifice the No. 7 pick to dump LaFrentz.
4. Pitino's cap-crippling deals for Kenny Anderson and Vitaly Potapenko (tie).
5. Paul Westphal for Charlie Scott.
6. The Sebastian Telfair trade (and depending on how good Brandon Roy becomes, that might be shooting up the list soon).

There. I feel better. Actually, no I don't.

BOSTON: F
I'm relieved they didn't do anything -- especially a Pau Gasol-Al Jefferson deal, which would have been an enormous mistake when you consider the age difference (five years), the salaries (Gasol makes six times as much), the stats (Jefferson's a better rebounder, and they're equally mediocre defenders, so they would have been picking up an extra 4-5 points a game and that's it) and the fact that Gasol could have inadvertently knocked them out of the Greg Oden/Kevin Durant Sweepstakes.

Still, I'm giving them a retroactive "F" for the hideous Sebastian Telfair trade, in which they passed on Brandon Roy or Randy Foye to acquire a shoot-first point guard who can't shoot. I know they saved $20-25 million in the deal (a big consolation for my dad, who's paying something like $360 a game for his seats) and acquired Theo Ratliff's eight-figure contract as a potential trade chip ... but Danny Ainge hasn't swung a deal in four-plus years that could be considered a home run, much less a triple or double (I'll give him a single on the first Ricky Davis trade), but he managed to hit into two triple plays (the Telfair deal and the Raef LaFrentz/Antoine Walker deal). Will Danny be able to parlay Ratliff's contract into something substantial? I'm dubious.



You can read the rest about eveyr other team here http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/070223

[eS El Duque]

NEW JERSEY: F-infinity-minus
"Let's see ... our season was screwed after the Nenad Krstic injury ... we're losing Vince to free agency ... we're on the hook with Kidd for $60 million through 2009 ... our only move is to blow this thing up and build around the 2007 draft and the future. ... Hey, you know what? Let's just stand pat."

(I mean ... I'm speechless.)

MINNESOTA: F-infinity-minus
It's all been said. Well, except one thing: If G-State was pushing Jason Richardson around the league like everyone claims, why wouldn't the T-Wolves have stepped in there? G-State was dumping him because Richardson is struggling to return from knee surgery and they're already playing the "we're paying a lot of money for an injury risk guy" game with Baron Davis. ... If you're the Wolves, and you can't land one more blue-chipper because you're roster is loaded with bad contracts, don't you owe it to KG to roll the dice with someone who COULD be a blue-chipper if he's healthy? You're telling me G-State wouldn't have jumped at an offer of Ricky Davis and Eddie Griffin's expiring contract to dump Richardson when they have to pay Monta Ellis next season? Plus, Ricky, Eddie and Stephen Jackson could have joined forces on a team that plays 15 minutes from downtown Oakland. ... That could have led to the most horrific late-night NBA incident in the history of horrific late-night NBA incidents. I feel cheated.

MIAMI: (INC)
Wade's shoulder injury probably made the Heat afraid to deal ... although it's also possible that Pat Riley couldn't dial the phone because it was still covered in Stan Van Gundy's dried blood.

TORONTO: A-plus
Now here's a guy who knows what he's doing: Bryan Colangelo. And yes, I'm quietly rooting for the Raps, who have the most rabid fans of anyone in the league. I get at least five angry e-mails every day from Toronto about (A) the fact that I dismissed their playoff chances two months ago (you're right, it was a mistake), (B) the fact that I killed them for taking Andrea Bargnani over Adam Morrison (you're right, big mistake, Bargnani is good with a nasty streak), and (C) the fact that I killed them for the T.J. Ford-Charlie Villanueva trade (the jury's still out on that one). You can stop e-mailing me. I like your team. I was wrong. OK? I was wrong! LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU BRYAN ADAMS-LOVING FREAKS!!!!

LAKERS: F-plus
We all appreciated the arrogance of the Lakers "trying" to obtain Jason Kidd by refusing to offer anything beyond Kwame Brown, expiring contracts and a late-round No. 1 pick. I know I did. What? Our horribly crappy offer isn't enough for one of the 10 greatest point guards ever? You're kidding!!!! On the other hand, Kidd would have been a shaky fit for that team, and not just because of the triangle. Kobe Bryant needs the ball all the time, and so does Lamar Odom, so in that offense, the point guard just stands around waiting to shoot open jumpers. That would have been a complete waste of a great player and I, for one, would have been outraged. We've already seen Kidd in the triangle once. It was a tragedy and an affront to everyone who cared about basketball.

But here's my question: Why weren't the Lakers actively trying to find someone other than Kidd or Bibby? For instance, let's say they made Milwaukee the following offer: Kwame Brown, Jordan Farmar, a 2007 No. 1 pick and two expiring contracts (Chris Mihm and Shammond Williams) for Mo Williams, Bobby Simmons' aforementioned terrible contract and Dan Gadzuric's equally awful contract (five years remaining, $30 million). Why wouldn't the Bucks jump at that one? And wouldn't the upgrade from Smush Parker to Mo make the Lakers a bona fide contender? These are the things I don't get.

[Teddy Roosevelt]

But here's my question: Why weren't the Lakers actively trying to find someone other than Kidd or Bibby? For instance, let's say they made Milwaukee the following offer: Kwame Brown, Jordan Farmar, a 2007 No. 1 pick and two expiring contracts (Chris Mihm and Shammond Williams) for Mo Williams, Bobby Simmons' aforementioned terrible contract and Dan Gadzuric's equally awful contract (five years remaining, $30 million). Why wouldn't the Bucks jump at that one? And wouldn't the upgrade from Smush Parker to Mo make the Lakers a bona fide contender? These are the things I don't get.

Because it's a retarded trade. Simmons' and Gadzuric's salary are too high and too long. Simmons hasn't even played a game this season. Williams is a good PG, but his contract is up this season and there is no guarantee that he would stay. Kwame Brown is a better center then Dan Gazuric (Gazuric isn't even averaging 4 points and 4 rebounds this season). Basically you are trading 2 bad contracts and a player who can leave after this season for a first round pick, one of the most talented young PG's in the game and are downgrading from Kwame to Gazuric. this trade makes no sense from the Lakers stand point.

[Teddy Roosevelt]

BTW,

[Teddy Roosevelt]

Oh, and Farmar>>>Williams.

[Now_Im_Not_Banned]

Both of them are ridiculous. Look what this genius said:

Kobe Bryant needs the ball all the time, and so does Lamar Odom, so in that offense, the point guard just stands around waiting to shoot open jumpers.

And he thinks we shoulda' offered Bynum for Kidd...LOL!

[eS El Duque]

BTW,

sports is the wrong forum?

[It's All About 18]

Still, I'm giving them a retroactive "F" for the hideous Sebastian Telfair trade, in which they passed on Brandon Roy or Randy Foye to acquire a shoot-first point guard who can't shoot. I know they saved $20-25 million in the deal (a big consolation for my dad, who's paying something like $360 a game for his seats) and acquired Theo Ratliff's eight-figure contract as a potential trade chip ... but Danny Ainge hasn't swung a deal in four-plus years that could be considered a home run, much less a triple or double (I'll give him a single on the first Ricky Davis trade), but he managed to hit into two triple plays (the Telfair deal and the Raef LaFrentz/Antoine Walker deal). Will Danny be able to parlay Ratliff's contract into something substantial? I'm dubious.



You can read the rest about eveyr other team here http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/070223

Ainge did a very big mistake with the Telfair Trade

[Teddy Roosevelt]

BTW,

sports is the wrong forum?

It was posted in the PC & Gaming section. Black_Smoke moved it here. http://www.dubcnn.com/connect/index.php?topic=137045.0

[Teddy Roosevelt]

After reading his colum, I've concluded that Bill Simmons is an idiot.

["THE" MoSav]

After reading his colum, I've concluded that Bill Simmons is an idiot.

not always. Is this the first Bill Simmons shit you have read?

[Now_Im_Not_Banned]

^^Bill Simmons has pretty much always been a senseless moron with retarded columns.

[Teddy Roosevelt]

After reading his colum, I've concluded that Bill Simmons is an idiot.

not always. Is this the first Bill Simmons shit you have read?

I hardly pay attention to the actual author of columns (a bad thing, I know), but I highly doubt this is the first thing of his I read.

["THE" MoSav]

After reading his colum, I've concluded that Bill Simmons is an idiot.

not always. Is this the first Bill Simmons shit you have read?

I hardly pay attention to the actual author of columns (a bad thing, I know), but I highly doubt this is the first thing of his I read.

he always does page 2 articles. He makes good points sometimes but yeah alot of his shit is off the wall..

["THE" MoSav]

^^Bill Simmons has pretty much always been a senseless moron with retarded columns.

he just wants to be different with his shit. Alot of his shit is senseless but not all of it