Man Laws (funny shit)

[Nima - Dubcnn.com]

My dad emailed me this shit, I thought it was gonna be corny but the shit had me laughing..

MAN LAWS
 

 
We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! 
 
Please note... these are all numbered "1"  On Purpose!
 
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.  And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
 
1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
 
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
 
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
 
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
 
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
 
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
 
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.

Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
 
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercial.
 
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing is wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
 
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
 
1. When we have to go somewhere in a hurry, absolutely anything you wear is fine.  REALLY!
 
1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes. 

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
 
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
 
But did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. 

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!

[J$crILLa]

nice, LOL...so true

[Bones01]

lol good shit, especially these one

 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing is wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
 
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
 
But did you know men really don't mind that?
It's like camping.

[AlerG]

Great thread,

chill

[Teddy Roosevelt]

I go this email over 2 years ago. Get with the times, Nima.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us.
 
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

All jokes a side, these are VERY true. Especially the last one.

[Now_Im_Not_Banned]

LOL

[T-Dogg]

 

[Chief]

haha a good majority of those are pretty accurate