Rap Summit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hambone (Guest)]

lol Check this shit out...LOL




A two-day conference next month will provide a forum to sensibly discuss the violent imagery of rap music. Snigger please!

The thang has been organised by Russell Simmons, one of the founders of the Def Jam label. Lots of major playas including Eminem (yay!), Dre (yay!), Snoop (yay!), Puff (vom!) and Q-Tip (um...) are expected to swagger along for laffs.

Simmons, wearing a penguin costume and saying "parp" every seven words, announced that he'd like to see artists abandon songs about, parp, drugs and gangsters. "We are taking a pro-active approach, parp, to deal with the serious issues that, parp, are facing the hip hop industry," he honked.

He is apparently miffed about rap lyrics glamorising shooting, shooting up and other nasty stuff. Yeah, and we're pretty cut up about fish continuing to swim and birds insisting on flying.

The conference will examine how the real life crap rappers pull on each other, such as the killings of Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur, have affected the public's view of rap music. Invited members of the public are believed to be preparing to admit that since hearing of the shootings, they have enrolled in a variety of fast-track drive-by courses at evening school, having re-evaluated violent crime as "really cool, actually".

Missy 'Misdemeanor' Elliott is rumoured to be held responsible for a sudden outbreak of people gathering round, now people singing around, now people jumping around. Puff Daddy may be surprised and ashamed to be singled out as responsible for an astonishing number of criminal records. Arf.

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