Author Topic: What Makes Pakistanis Happy (Read 376 times)

morbidenigma · « **on:** April 14, 2008, 04:07:10 PM »

This applies to young and old pakistani people in UK. Its only for a larf, so if you get offended, i suggest you got to google and search for cancer jokes, to actually find somthing worth getting offended about

Not being a freshie - thank mama she pushed you out after she landed at Heathrow
Letting freshies know there freshies - you aint one but the ones that are, damn well they need to know they are
Chilli sauce- where ever you go to eat, if they aint givin it 2u, u know youre askin for it
Seeing other pakistanis - you might not know the person, but if his of pakistani origin you act like there your long lost brother/sister even though its the first time uve met them
Calling everybody uncle/aunty - like above, but you begin thinking any person who is 15 years or above older you and/or knows your parents is your actual uncle/aunty
Braggin about your children/son in law//husband/house/job/business/car - this is the pakistani way of being arrogant in a subtle way, and saying yours/mines is better then yours
Fair skin - mirror mirror on the wall whose the fairest of them all, yep go and reach for that fair and lovely
Swearing in punjabi - it may sound digusting, but its supposed to be funny isnt it?
Bollywood films - normally anti-indian, but those bollywood films are so DAMN entertaining !!, and the best thing is they showing em hear 2 now in cinemas !
Fish of fillet burgers - the only reason you gotta go in Mcdonalds, apart from eating hamburgers when noones around.
Dixy - it aint KFC, but its fried chicken and its Halal
Nandos - What a way to show your status, and to top it off the food tastes good too
Dodgy Accounts - you gotta know one of the to 'adjust' the figures, and save you money
Saving money on paying taxes - Yep you got a whole cash and carry full of workers and most of em are either not shown workin officially, or on part time hours when they do 70 plus hours a week, and you woulda thought inland revenue would be clued up
Claiming child benefit for all your 12 kids - god bless the queen, this country is great isnt it, claim for all your kids, then when the eldest is about to hit 18 you start the production line again.
Weddings- the perfect chance for you to dress to impress, and have a free 3 course meal. you go to the wedding, give the toaster, eat , then leave, simple as.
Getting housing benefit for a house you actually bought - yep you payed the cash downpayment, the mortage is in your brothers/mates name, then you claim housing benefit, BRILLIANT
Using Islamic vocabulary - theres a religious brother/sister around, lets drops those 'mashallahs' and 'inshallahs' into the conversation.
Eating roti with salaan everyday - even though its oily and greasy, you still got have it everyday, other food is just way to DRYYYY
Pakistani Vs India cricket matches - you dont normally follow cricket, but being Pakistani you cant possibly miss a chance to gloat
Celebrating independence day - just as an excuse to celebrate a day for a country that a) first generation adults were literally dying to get away from b)the kids like to distinct themselves away from(i.e freshies)..
Obtaining a british passport - if u get it legally, great, if you get it illegally even better, you dont have to wait 5-8 years
Dodgy cable boxes - pay £50 once, and get 200 channels free for the next 8 year